For some reason I get these really intense feelings of jealousy when I see a guy hooking up with a chick that I might have even had a passing interest in. Even if I see someone moving in with a remote chance of hooking up with someone I once considered a target, I get that feeling to some degree or another. It's obviously some evolutionary thing that makes us want to kill a rival mate, but it doesn't do us much good in today's world. Am I unusual in feeling like this?
The feeling I get is a physical pain in the gut. I mean, I can physically feel pain. Does anyone know the physiological process that causes this? It's got to be something to do with the respiratory system. I can feel a surge in heart rate followed by an acidic feeling in my upper abdomen that gradually sinks lower.
For example, there was this one HB8 that I was interested in once in my pre PUA days, I went on one date with her, failed to close the deal despite what I think was a missed opportunity, things got in the way, and we never hooked up. Well this was over a year and a half ago and I had little or no contact with her in the meantime. Yet there I was sitting in a hotel lobby a month ago and who walks in only her. I had to do a double take, I wasn't sure if it was her, but it was, and I called her name out but she didn't hear. She was with a fella. I looked closely at the guy and realised I recognised him, someone I know and who has a reputation for fucking anything that moves. He left his wife for a young one, and now there he was with 'my' chick. (I know she wasn't 'mine,' but that's how it felt.)
I mentioned it to a friend who I was with, and he said "well, he's not married anymore so he can date whoever he likes."
Well tonight I had a little mild version of this [<a href="
here-vp245209.html#245209">See FR</a>]. Was hanging with some college students (they're about 10 years my junior, I'm in the market for a younger chick right now and I have a good little network built up through some work I've done for a few campus sports teams) and there was a HB9 at a party who I'd invested a fair bit of time in with a neg/dhv twin track approach and I think I was getting somewhere. But she did send some IOIs to one of my buddies and he ended up in her room towards the end of the night when I pulled the plug and left with the impression that there's a good chance they'll hook up. I'll post more details of that on the Field Report forum. But again, leaving the scene I felt a mild jealousy pang. And that's only after having met the HB a few hours before, and I had a secondary target who was a HB8 who I'd taken as far as a bit of kino escalation earlier.
How do you guys deal with this sort of thing?
The thing about an enclosed party situation like that is it's an intimate setting with a limited supply of available HBs, it's not like a club where you can just wander off and open a completely fresh set by fishing in uncharted waters. So if you're going to go for a target, you have to make it work or you're going to be disappointed.
I tried a little thought experiment based on some NLP stuff I've been reading. I friended the secondary target on Facebook and browsed some of her photos checking out her HB friends, thinking what would have happened if those HBs had been to the party and not the target HB9 that I was working on? I also tried to think in terms of using the target HB9 as a pivot in future situations. Hasn't completely eliminated the jealous thing but it has eased a little.
CHAT
