| The Inner Critic is that pernicious little voice inside your head that constantly carps, complains
and condemns. It is the voice that sows doubt – ‘Yes... but.... supposing. You’re rubbish at that
you know you are. It will all go wrong, it always does!’
If you let thoughts such as these go unchallenged you give the Inner Critic the power to destroy
your confidence and lower your self-esteem. You must learn to tell it to shut up, stop being silly
and go away. Then change the thoughts to something positive.
This is the second of the Four Steps, Thought Stopping. It can be used in any instant, and has
an immediate effect. This way you may not prevent negative thoughts entering your mind, but
you can render them powerless.
Step 1. As you listen in on your self-talk, step back and observe. Ask yourself. ‘Why am I thinking
that thought? Where is it taking me? Does it help me feel confident?’
Step 2. When you become aware of a negative thought, use Thought Stopping. Interrupt the
unwanted thought by saying firmly. ‘No!’ ‘Stop!’ ‘Go away!’ ‘Delete!’ or some other word
or phrase of your choice. Do this silently or aloud (out loud is best, if circumstances permit).
Step 3. The mind is not a vacuum; you cannot not think. Moreover, you can only think one
conscious thought at a time (if you don’t believe me, try thinking two thoughts at once –
impossible!). So once you’ve dispensed with the unwanted thought immediately replace it
with another, to prevent another unwanted thought popping into your conscious mind.
If you can’t think of an appropriate thought immediately, use an affirmation, such as:
‘I like myself.’
‘I am a strong and worthy person.’
‘I’m perfect just as I am.’
Step 4. Now take the Thought Stopping technique a stage further. As you detach yourself from an
unwanted thought, simultaneously stomp your feet, pinch yourself, slap your thigh or bang
on a table etc. Be sensible: obviously there are times and places when this is inconvenient,
or even dangerous, so use your discretion.
Step 5. Try this alternative form of Thought Stopping. When you notice a disempowering thought,
have a good snigger to yourself: just laugh at its nonsense. Say, ‘So you’re the thought? Ha!
Ha!’, or ‘Oops! There goes another one!’ Then allow yourself a warm inner smile.
Step 6. Make yourself very comfortable, either sitting or lying down. Close your eyes. take a few
deep breaths and imagine there is a little person sweeping up the doubting, anxious, useless,
self-deprecating thoughts into a pile of dust in the centre of your head. When they’re all
swept up, ‘blow’ the dust out of your mouth and ‘watch’ it disperse into the SPAM.
Affirm to yourself that the negative thoughts won’t trouble you again. Notice how you
feel. This works particularly well when you are stressed or anxious.
Step 7. When you first use the Four Step Formula you will encounter resistance. Your subconscious wants
to hang on to existing habits, because this is how it’s designed to operate. If it tries to sabotage
your progress for instance, by making you feel as if you’re lying to yourself, don’t let it!
It takes about a month to change a thinking pattern permanently, so keep at it, be patient
and don’t castigate yourself if you slip up. There’s no point in replacing one negative
thought with another.
David L Preston
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CHAT
