a little help please. i've recently realized i have a problem staying calm in uncomfortable situations. i've always been a creature of habit, and when shit happens that i'm not used to dealing with, i tend to get rattled. i guess the discomfort stems from not knowing what i'm "supposed" to do in the situation. this is certainly a confidence issue because rather than just choosing a course of action, i get up tight about what i should do and can't make decisions, etc.

this is not just something related to pick up; it happens to me at work too. here's an example. i teach english as a second language (to adults and children), and the other day at work, i administered a test to a student. afterward, i had to tell the student that he had failed, though i knew he had studied really hard and was going to be really disappointed. i felt like the interaction was really awkward. i wanted to be sympathetic and encouraging, but i was having a hard time focusing on the student because i was so uncomfortable with being the one who had to fail him.

i think the ability to be unaffected and remain calm in any situation is one of the most useful personality traits not just in relations with women, but in life in general. is there anyone out there who has felt anxiety like this, beat it, and can offer some advice? it would be much appreciated.

being Empathetic is not a negative trait.


My guess is that most people feel this way about this sort of thing.
I wouldn't want this sort of anxiety to go away, but perhaps become less obtrusive.


Focus on your breath,
Breathe deeply, steadily.

Keeping a focus on your own breathing, can help calm you down.
As they say, breathe with your stomach.
people learn this is martial arts, yoga, and other techniques which deal with calming the mind.

So, try it out.
It may help.