| What is Inner Game?
Inner Game is about sorting ourselves from within. It concerns understanding, tackling our misconceptions, and developing the right mind set. Mindset and understanding unconsciously affects outer behaviour and reality. Fixing ourselves from within accelerated the development to become attractive to women
It's about walking through the world with a sense of power and calm relaxed poise that allows us to feel absolutely comfortable in any situation or circumstance. When you come from that place all of the right behaviours come flooding out, it beams from your eyes, it radiates in the way you stand. Inner game is a powerful tool.
3 Suggestions for Achieving Inner Happiness
Part of being an attractive and seductive man is being entirely content with who you are. How can we possibly expect to meet and attract, date, marry, or seduce women when we are not happy with ourselves and our own lives? Recent studies suggest there are a few ways to make you happier with whom you are and your life.
Exercise
A study at University of Texas Southwestern concluded that the sole use of exercise significantly reduced depression in 50 percent in individuals who participated in 30-minute aerobic exercise sessions three times a week. This result astounded psychologists and scientists who found nearly the exact result when treating depression with anti-depressant medication and cognitive therapy. It should come as no surprise exercise is more natural than taking drugs.
Meditation
Meditation has been scientifically proven to change your brain chemistry in a positive, beneficial way. To be more specific, one recent research project found in an 8 week study of meditation significant changes in the left pre-frontal cortex which, if you have any background in biopsychology, you know this is the location where positive feelings are derived.
Simple taking 20 minutes out of your day to meditate and positively reflect on the day, you can significantly improve your level of happiness. An alternative to pure meditation is yoga, which also provides a good workout and an excellent chance to meet some healthy women as well.
Appreciation
It has been claimed that you are never actually living until you know you are dying. Though an interesting dichotomy, I too have heard of and met people who see the world differently when they know their time is limited. The air smells a bit better. The sun shines a bit brighter. Everything they sense becomes all that more important. Why can't we all feel this enlightenment on a regular basis? Well we can , we simply have to appreciate what we have.
My advice to you is to write down every night 4 or 5 things you are grateful for. Study after study reveals this technique constantly raises the level of happiness in ones life. It doesn't matter if they are the same things every night. Still write them down.
Confidence[/size]
Confidence is a concept that is considered to be 'the' characteristic that women are attracted to. In fact, if you go up to any random women and ask her what she looks for in a guy, you can almost be positive that CONFIDENCE will be in her answer
So what is confidence?
Confidence is the belief that success is achievable and within arm length. Everyone has confidence to some degree in their lives. Most people are confident driving a car or reading a book. The problem is, a lot of the times confidence is context based and never fully transmuted to other parts of your life including attracting women. The good news is, confidence is NOT a personality trait. It's an attitude that can be learned.
Here are six steps to build confidence...
Identify core values
The first step in becoming confident is realizing your core values. Doing so will manifest a congruent identity that is aligned with how you live your life. And a man who knows exactly what he wants from himself and others is a confident man. The quickest way to recognize what you value in life to ask yourself some specific questions. The trick is not think about an answer. Just take into account the first few thoughts that pop into your head. Your intuition often knows best.
Here are 3 questions you can ask yourself that will hopefully shine some light on your core values.
"What is are the things in life that make me happy?"
"What are the things in life that I am best at?"
"If I was forced to live by one ethic alone, what would it be?"
Your answers to these questions will generally provide a road map to a confident, decisive belief system.
Set goals
Another good way to become confident is to set small goals that can be achieved during the day. Most people equate goals to feats that are near unachievable. It's good to set some long term goals but it's also good to set goals that you can achieve right now.
The crazy thing is you can turn basically any remedial task and turn it into a goal. For example, on one occasion I set a goal to run 3 miles. I achieved my goal and took a split moment to celebrate. The same day I set a goal to say hello to three people I had never met. I achieved my goal and basked in glory briefly. Later in the day I set a goal to go grocery shopping. I achieved my goal and by this time, I was confident I could pretty much do anything. What I realized is that after you've completed consecutive goals, your mind will start to associate what you do with success. It begins to transmute into other facets of your life. So if you want a real easy way to gain to gain confidence, set mini goals and achieve them throughout the day.
Externalize Success and Accomplishments
Another way to become confident is to write down everything you know you are good at. It doesn't have to be anything unique or profound. It can be as simple as "I am a good driver!" If you take into account much of the daily things you do and have done, your mind will begin to realize how competent you actually are. If you want to take this one step farther, you can write down all of your accomplishments.
Affirmations
Another way to create confidence is to practice saying affirmations to yourself. Because the unconscious mind cannot distinguish between the real world and the mental realm, many of the affirmations will slip past your consciousness into a place where they become real beliefs even if you have never had any success in that particular area. Note: In creating affirmations, it is extremely important to always keep them positive.
Your unconscious mind does not hear positives or negatives. It simply hears commands. So if you were to say to yourself "I'm not a loser!" your subconscious mind will still hear "I'm" and "loser." Here is a set of affirmations I've used in the past that helped me become more confident.
I am blessed
I am attractive
I can attract beautiful women
I am confident
I am in control of my life
I know what I want
I know how to get what I want
I am successful
I am loved by others
I love myself
I am capable of anything
I am interesting
I am intelligent
Say these over and over again to yourself.
And these are just a few. Create your own that cater to specific things in your life that you don't feel confident about. Also, it is important to keep doing them as long you need to.
Confidence doesn't happen over night. If you want to expedite the process, you can print a few affirmations out in large lettering and tape them to your ceiling or mirrors or any other place where you will see them every day. They don't even have to be long affirmations. You could even do something like "YES, YOU CAN!"
Gain Competence
Competence and success will also fuel your confidence. In terms of meeting women, competence will come with studying seduction and using the theories, techniques and routines provide. In fact, the only purpose of routines is to get success under your belt so you can become more confident with women. In reality, if you want the deeply embedded belief that you can attract women, you will need to be absolutely positive that you have that ability. To be absolutely positive, you will need some success under your belt.
Communities
Surrounding yourself with positive, supportive people is very important in gaining and sustaining confidence. If you surround yourself with people who constantly belittle you and try to take value from you, it can be very difficult to sustain confidence.
Eagles soar with other eagles for a reason and you too need to surround yourself with people who will support your personal growth and accept you for who you are. In terms of creating a stronger social net, find people with common interests and become part of a group/s.
Some examples of social groups are work friends, classmates, team-mates, club members, etc. There are even groups for guys who want to learn how to meet women called lairs. They are great as well for building confidence.
How To Build Self Confidence Around Women
By Terry Leslie
We have all heard the self-help notions revolving around 'see it, believe it, and achieve it.' For most of us, we can get ourselves motivated for a little while but it doesn't take long to fall right back into the realm of normal, every day, low self image us. We saw it, we wanted it, we tried to believe it, and then we failed and came home with our tail tucked between our legs and stayed stick in that mind frame for quite awhile.
Self image and self belief doesn't happen overnight. It can, but not for most of us. Most of us struggle with who we believe we are and how we seem to the world. Most of us feel unknown in the world, which allows us to believe we are alone. No matter where you stand on the relationship scale (one night stands to a permanent, long term commitment) the key to success is finding that better sense of self through 'believe and achieve.'
Didn't we just discuss that this wasn't the ultimate method of self improvement? We did. Sometimes a little self contradictory is necessary to get to the bottom line. The problem with listening speeches and going home is that you lose it when it doesn't work. In order for changes within you to really work, you have to believe in them even when you are not cooperating with your belief. How often have you heard some amazingly simple but perfectly sensible self improvement tip that would help your relationship but then decided to drop it soon after because it didn't work out like you had planned? It happens all the time.
This happens because we don't really believe in the tip or the system or the self improvement CD package we just dropped $500 on. When we really believe in something (like say, oh, ourselves?) then we can remember that change takes a little time and practice. It's not that the 'Belief crap isn't working, so why bother'? It's more along the lines of, 'I am not cooperating with my beliefs, so knock it off.'
This concept is not one that many people can embrace, especially when they are simply looking at improving their relationship or getting a relationship, or just getting laid. What makes it hard is that we have a hard time accepting the reactions of others when they don't fall in line with out expectations. Self belief once again can save us a lot of frustration. When we really hold onto our self belief, we don't allow a woman we met five minutes ago to take it away from us, nor do we allow a woman we have known for ten years to take it away from us. Critical judgment, cruel commentary, and basic uncaring blow offs are a reflection of her, not you.
Women know that men are often willing to jump through hoops of fire that they set up in order to get what they want. It doesn't have to be that way. Women also tend to respond to us in the way that we teach them to treat us. Thus, if we run around and respond to all their hoops, we are telling them that it is okay and we will allow this to happen. If we simply respond with an open heart but strong principles of self respect, they stop. Women tell me all that time that a good man is hard to find. They also tell me that a good man is one who treats them well while still treating themselves well. Not an easy place to end up unless you have self belief.
Being a man means so much in our society that the rules are more complicated and frustrating these days than ever before. You have the entire range of metro sexual right up to the good ol' boys of redneck ville. Each man that can be classified between those two has a different definition of being a man. What really matters is not society's vision of what a man looks like but what a man looks like to you. When you believe in yourself you also get to create who you really are, live comfortably in your skin, and be happy with your decisions.
Developing self belief around women isn't an easy task to fulfil, but certainly one worth going after. If you get there, you will become so liberated that the likelihood of attracting women becomes the norm. Women like men who know who they are and aren't afraid to be themselves no matter what the circumstances are. In so many ways, men change to adapt to their surroundings. It just doesn't have to be that way. You can be strong, uncomplicated, and real and feel good about it even when others are expecting you to change.
Of course, you have to practice. Practice forgiving yourself for mistakes. Practice learning from your mistakes. Practice not allowing a woman's comment to derail you and practice being cool with her ignorance. Practice knowing who you are. Men aren't encouraged to journal, or to listen to self help CDs or to meditate without being hammered by others. What you do to make yourself a better man is nobody's business. Thus, if you feel as though you might benefit from taking a few steps toward self improvement, I would tell you to go for it. Being a better person isn't just for women. It's for everyone who wants to grow. And growth is really the core of self belief.
When you find something you believe in to help you grow, you can start to make the changes necessary to start believing in your power of choice. Responding to women in a manner that maintains your self respect doesn't have to be abusive, you are just filling in your own boundaries and any woman is free to choose whether she can accept those or not. Appreciating yourself and appreciating a woman can go hand in hand. Finding ways to grow stronger is vital to finding the woman you can really appreciate.
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