Hey!

I've just experienced a pretty bad case of oneitis, which I have had several of in my life, and it has made me reflect on my romantic/sexual history. From I was 15 to I was 19 I was in love with the same girl, but I friendzoned my self heavily, even though she was interested, because I had such low self-esteem. I remember being very frustrated and crying in front if my family, but instead of my father validating my emotions, he yelled at me several times because he meant I handled the situation poorly.

Coming from a family background where my emotions have not been validated so well, I think I have developed a poor ability to contain my emotions, and I think that is why falling in love is so extremely painful for me.

Even though I'm 30 years old now, a lot of women still tell me I have a very boyish type of energy.

So I think when you are not very good at containing your emotions, you instead want to spit them out, and that makes being a smooth and chill seducer difficult, so I'm seeking to rush things, having closures, declarations of my love, etc, all that, way too early, in stead of just going with the flow of things.

Does these theories make sense? Are any of you familiar with any psycho-therapeutic articles on this theme?

Yeah well, I have went trough that and a lot worse.

I'll tell you how to get trough it and you won't listen to me.

You have to hustle your ass.

Every second of your miserable life, you have to hustle yourself : I want that identity, this is what that identity would do, that's what I will do, right now.

It will be easier after 21 days.

Problem 1 : you live in your head.
Problem 2 : you think what you do is wrong, it's not, it is HOW you do it that's wrong.
Problem 3 : don't seek relationship right now, just fucking find a way to love yourself and build a life that nurture your own emotional need.

GOING TO A GIRL WITH THE INTENTION OF LEECHING GOOD EMOTIONS LIKE A BLACKHOLE IS LIKE A BEIGAR ASKING YOU FOR MONEY.