| dogma
[dawg-muh,dog-]
noun,plural dogmas or dogmata
an official system of principles or tenets concerning faith, morals, behavior, etc.,as of a church.
Synonyms: doctrine, teachings, set of beliefs, philosophy.
I grew up in a deeply religious Catholic household. Masturbation was sin. Premarital sex was sin. Hell was a reality etched in my mind. I used to have nightmares of spending an eternity in hell tortured by demons. No, really. Religion and dogma ruled everything I did.
Dogma is a powerful thing. When you’re young, its drilled into your head together with numerous limiting beliefs concerning wealth, relationships, and certain groups of people among others.
Dogma, may have started out with noble intentions, but the bottom line is that dogma is a form of control.
One of the reasons why I was a virgin till the age of 21 had everything to do with my religious upbringing and my fear of damnation. If you want to taste every last sweet drop of juice from your life, you have to squeeze very hard. This means that you have to do whatever you want to do, do it fully and passionately,without caring what others think about you.
Don’t get trapped in a previous generations way of life. You must adapt to the present generation. Most importantly, you must question very belief that was programmed into you as a child.
If you really don’t feel an urge to get married, then don’t let the fear of losing your girlfriend, or the fear of being alone influence your decision. Don’t let your parents religious or cultural beliefs get in your way. Don’t. get. married.
If you want to have sex with multiple attractive women, do it. You’re not a creep for approaching women, you’re not a player for having sex with multiple women, you’re not shallow for choosing to penetrate only the most physically attractive of women. You’re not less enlightened, or less spiritual by choosing to follow your biological desires and spread your seed inside as many women as possible. Quitting porn and having sex with women certainly does not make you a sex addict.
When I was still addicted to porn, trying to improve my dating skills, I spent a lot of time with guys who were excited to learn these skills. They were frustrated and clueless like me, but eager to learn and propelled by their desire for sex. Many of them eventually got quite good at attracting women ,some got good at getting laid consistently and a handful learned how to build and maintain great relationships with women.
Almost all of them succumbed to dogma. Usually, they started dating a woman, quit having other attractive women around them, and quickly fell victim to comfort, security and their fear of loss. Some got married, then divorced as they realized that the woman they were with was not the right one for the, some got lazy and as a result, their wives cheated on them, divorced them, and left them virtually financially destitute.
A handful are happily married and claim to be happy, but the amount of pornography they consumed, coupled with their willingness to visit a strip club at the drop of a dime make me question their claim.
Men, if you’re seriously trying to quit pornography or get over your limiting beliefs with women, religion will not do you any favors. It will certainly make you very guilty about your decision.
Jesus probably will not help you quit porn. Only your firm decision and a scientifically proven method will.
There are very few religious approaches to pornography addiction that work. Even those that exist with a “scientific” approach have a religious agenda. At best, they will repress your cravings. Your addiction needs to be handled head-on. It needs to be understood, acknowledged and dealt with piece by piece. It may take three months to deal with, or it may take 3 years.
For some of you, it may become a lifelong struggle, you will overcome it, but you will have to maintain a certain lifestyle to keep it from taking over your life again. For those of you, Quit Porn In 30 Days is merely the first step in tackling your addiction.
Time waits for no man. Before you know it, you will be an old man- you days of hunting for young nubile women long gone, and the only thing left is regret. If dogma is holding you back- cut those ropes and break free. Only fear holds you back.
I have fears as well. I feared that I would never overcome my addiction. I was scared that my erectile dysfunction was permanent. I sometimes fear growing old alone because I refuse to drink society’s kool aid. I feel fear, but I use it to motivate me to push harder. When I feel fear, I use it as a sign that its time to grow-time to tackle that fear.
In the twilight of you life, be sure your life was lived fully, fearlessly, without regrets. Look back at your life and smile, because your time on earth was spent as a free man- free from the bondage of society and dogma.
I leave you with one of my favorite quotes which I read every morning without fail.
The only life worth living is the adventurous life. Of such a life, the dominant characteristic is that it is unafraid. It is unafraid of what other people think…It does not adapt either its pace or its objectives to that of its neighbors . It thinks its own thoughts, reads its own books, it develops its own hopes and is governed by its own conscience. The herd may graze where it pleases or stampede where it pleases, but he who lives the adventurous life will remain unafraid when he finds himself alone.
-Raymond B Fosdick
Be Happy, Be Free of Dogma, Be Free of Regret,
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CHAT