Lately this has been my life.
Wake up, eat, go to work, come home from work, maybe eat, maybe go for a run or workout, maybe masturbate to some random and weird shit for 2-3 hours depends on the order, then shower, go online, maybe jerk off again, bed. Some drinking in there too. Sometimes makes me feel better or worse depending if I'm w friends or alone drinking. Strictly beer. NO hard stuff

It's a shitty ass routine that doesn't allow me to meet anyone or have any positive interaction with anyone besides the online dating which I might get in between wanks. I feel like I'm stuck in this rut and use the masturbation/distorted thoughts as a way to escape my anxiety about everyday things. Honestly, I wish I could get out of it and go out and meet a good woman and spend the time I waste beating it for hours to random stuff like trannies and fetish stuff even calling phone sex instead doing fun things and enjoying life with someone special. But I need to find the bridge to get there and escape me from this. Sometimes I feel like I'm so trapped, that I'm fucked up and need a therapist. I dunno...

Sounds like you listened to everything society told you to do like a good little sheep.

I bet you don't feel like you're fulfilling your life purpose with your job. I bet you chase immediate gratification all the time instead of trying to build anything in life. I bet you always look for external sources to make yourself feel good.

And society told you to live in fear, so you listened because it's the easy thing to do. It told you never to cold approach to meet new women on your own, so you just don't do it. You never gave yourself permission to make anything of yourself other than what you've been told to do by others.

Just a battery in the matrix.

Porn is just so easy to look up with a click of a button, isn't it? Why bother going through the risk and pain of rejection talking to REAL women when you can just flip open the laptop and rub one out whenever you want?

And in the end you can just feel like something is missing.
Because you weren't meant to be a sheep.

Step up.

Bingo! Someone gets me. Although I do get some enjoyment out of my job. Where do I start to regain myself?