This is difficult to write.

I'm 24. I love to laugh and make people laugh. I feel i have a good heart. shit when i was 16 working in a house under construction i used to open the windows to let flys out who were buzzing against the glass.

My parents separated when i was 10. I guess i was desperate for both their attention so i became the communication line between my mom and dad. As i grew older i began to work with my dad and live with my mom. I traded my labor of helping my dad with his house so he could come and work in my moms house with me. FYI construction workers. With this i hardly had a friend from 18 to 22.

They both would call me a loser or and idiot. My dad at work and my mom at home. To be honest i can hardly remember any praise from either of them.

I write this because i feel i'm emotionally fucked up from this. I feel like i'm not worth a damn thing. so i let opportunities go. I recently reconnected with a few of my old friends. Alot people think i'm very enjoyable to be around. Thank you pua. I could never bring myself to call them back or try to set up something. I think why would they want to hang out with me?

I'm dead set on fixing my life. I quit working with my dad. I cleaned out my room a few nights ago. i found a box with papers where i used to write down goals i had. Most if not all i didn't achieve. Except one. it was a small piece of paper with one line on it. " I want to learn communication skills in order to connect with people."

That hit me really hard. cause i'm sure the me that wrote that a few years ago was one lonesome kid.

As my life seems to finally be gaining some traction. I can't seem to shake of this past that is dogging me. I'll figure it out. And yes i wrote this as some self therapeutic shit. If you read it all thanks for taking the time to entertain my situation in your head.

Read it. I would totally give you a hug right now.

We all have problems, my friend, and a few of us know how to hide it in a secret place inside out heads. Then we tend to see that those problems aren't exactly problems at all, because they are in fact, the past. You have friends now, and if you really love them, take your time with them and spend as much time with them. Don't ever turn down a small drinking session just cause you're busy with work or don't feel like anything. But of course, I don't really know much about your story, I only know what you've written down.

Best way is to move on from all of that. Do you find yourself a better communicator than you were before? Then go out there and meet new people or revise with the companions you already have. Make it a habit to wake up in the morning feeling good about yourself. Go up to a mirror look at the reflection, you see a gorgeous beautiful awesome man. You're brilliant and you know it.

I probably won't sound like much help. Although I don't exactly know much. I'm only 20, giving a 24 year old some advice xD

With love,
Matt

_________________
"Don't try to change who you are. Don't even think you're not good enough right now. You ARE good enough being who you are. Women can smell a fake man the same way you can smell cheesecake."