Ive been going out with a girl and she seems to really like the way I am, we get along pretty well. Altough I get too worried about being confident and it messes me up, can't I just rely on the fact she likes me for the way I am? isn't it enough for a relationship? I mean, you can say that she can cheat on me, but the only way not to be cheated on is to be the best fucking guy on earth… And my confidence is alright, I just think that she might be attracted to other guys and I have to handle her the best… I know it sounds stupid, I don't really know whats my problem but its kinda like this.

Your trying to control reality to much, which is putting pressure on yourself...hence the worrying. Let go, its out of your hands.

You two are not even together yet, and you already worry about getting hurt in the relationship. That's the problem. As the other poster said, you don't have absolute control over everything, so you should stop worrying about it, and enjoy everything as long as you have the possibility to do so.

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My friend, this is ALL ABOUT CONFIDENCE. Your not in a relationship yet, so she's testing it. Testing to see the confidence in your reactions (or preferably lack of reactions). Don't give a shit when she's flirting with whoever, she's wants to see how insecure it makes you feel.

Be yourself, and own it. She'll respect your independence. She will never cheat on you if you attract her and keep her feelings in the honeymoon stage of the relationship. If you start putting her on a pedestal your gonna get kicked in the face! Your the prize, not her.

Remember, ONLY YOU bring your unique qualities to the table. No one else has them like you do. I have a personal saying for my self-confident mindset "No advertisements, self-appraisals only". If your true to who YOU ARE and it doesn't work with this one, then she's not what your really after, is she? TRUE TO YOURSELF FIRST

There are two types of people: People who cheat and people who don't. That's the one thing you need to face up to and realise. Is your girlfriend a cheater? Has she EVER cheated before in her life? If the answer is yes then chances are she's going to cheat. Regardless of her reasons for cheating(Beaten up, horrible boyfriend, whatever) she's still a cheater. Sometimes... SOMETIMES it's a genuine mistake and they had very little control over it but 90% of the time they cheated because they could or whatever reason out of a billion. If your girlfriend is a cheater she'll probably cheat on you and there's very little you can do depending on the severity of how bad a cheat she is.

If you're afraid she finds others attractive and she's not a cheater all you need to worry about is her breaking up with you, not actually cheating on you. The only thing you can ever do is make sure a girl is into you and wants you so she won't break up with you not "I hope she doesn't cheat on me..." That's the completely wrong way to look at things, man. It shows you have very low confidence if that's your train of thought.

You worry that she might find other guys attractive, but just because you're with her, do you suddenly not find that stunning blond stood at the bar attractive? Of course you still do. Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean that you can't/won't still find other people attractive, that's human nature, no matter who you are or how committed to your partner you are, EVERYONE will always still find other people attractive. The only thing is, some people can control their baser urges and some people can't. When I was with my ex I remember one time I was out with friends, got chatting to this gorgeous girl, unbelievable body, really nice, blah blah blah, she was all over me but I stayed loyal to my girlfriend (DAMNIT CONSCIENCE) and palmed her off onto a mate. A lot of guys in that situation would have said "fuck it" and fucked her. As would be the case were the roles reversed.

As for your topics question, self-confidence is in my opinion the most important quality one can have.

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"My toughest opponent is always myself"
Musterion's Journal

Confidence is EVERYTHING.... sometimes it can be argued that it's all that matters.

Confidence is equivalent to water on how essential it is to dating women.

the beauty of it is you can control it.

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