Quote:
While working out in the gym makes me feel "physically" good...it's not what I'm seeking.
How can I believe in myself when nearly every approach I do ends up as a complete and utter DISASTER. Literally the stuff people with Approach Anxiety think about before approaching, THAT is what truly happens to me.
I haven't been with a girl in 5 years. In that entire 5 years I've been flaked, rejected, just everything. I feel like if I will EVER get an opportunity to at least kiss a girl again I'm gonna be dumb founded on how, that's how low I feel I've gone. I feel like I *HAVE* to try and improve my social game with nearly every girl I meet, and I end up coming on way too strong or trying way too hard. What the hell is wrong with me?
Let me give an example: One girl in my Bio class whom I'd only talked to one or two times, grew red whenever I talked to her. This obviously gave me a confidence boost cause I thought "oh..hey, she likes me! Okay NoMoreLuck DON'T screw this one up..." and I asked for her number 3rd time I talked to her for a "study session". I didn't want to wait too long or I'd feel I would be friend zoned if I didn't move in. She gave me flaky like remarks when trying to talk to her such as "oh I have so and so sports and class(key here to note is she didn't say *I have a boyfriend* otherwise I would've backed off)" but I still wanted to try, even if to get rejected. She did end up giving me a number, and I repeated IT back to her wrongly on purpose and she said "Yep, that's my number" so right there was my answer. Still...I texted that number later that night to find out if it's some random number or something funny like rejection hotline...and she gave me her fucking boyfriend's number..like WOW. He basically went off on me how "the bitch" is his, laughed at how pathetic he thought I was, and how he was gonna fuck her that night. So..yeah, I obviously don't talk nor let that chick know I'm bothered by it, when reality is I am. I guess I kind of asked for it by keeping a wrong number on purpose, but I still feel it was pretty heartless how that played out.
So with all that said, reading up on great tips to "turn her on" is..great. But with how I am now, I'd probably get more disastrous results.destroying what little confidence I have left. How can I stop being so hard on myself and start being positive?I also don't need AA tips, cause I guess that's only positive from my failed experiences, I don't think about it, I just try and act...no matter how poorly it might be =/
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Mack
Centered Man Project
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