So I've met a girl who possesses all of the traits I thought I desired in a partner. She is extremely smart, talented, creative, sensitive and wickedly beautiful. She has her down sides too, with past abandonment issues and some dark family issues from her past, but still, I felt lucky to have her in my life.

We have dated for 2 months and it has been very turbulent, with lots of lows but ecstasy highs - Last night she told me she loved me and I told her "no and ended it". We discussed it for a couple hours and realised she wasn't over her ex and maybe that is why our relationship had been so turbulate. (I have to say I feel now that I manipulated her into thinking this some what, although it was definately a factor)

I have always ended my relationships when I see the other person coming too close to me, and they last on average 3 months. I speak about this now because she revealed something to me, that I am a narcissist. I have since researched it, and although I wouldn't consider myself as having a NPD, I definitely have the majority of the traits of a narcissistic person and had just never put them together myself.

I have never been able to put somebody else need and emotions in front of my own, and this concerns me somewhat. I know I am only 25, and I have my career and other aspects of my life to focus on, but I am concerned I could never let anybody close to me. I actually like that I am a narcissist, and that as a result I have a great social skill set to utilize in a professional environment, I enjoy manipulating people, improving myself both mentally and my physical appearance - but non-the-less, I'm concerned for what this could mean in my future.

I read somewhere that my narcissism would probably tone down considerably around the age of 30+, which makes sense to me and I would be in a stronger and more settled position professionally. I guess I would like to hear about the experiences of fellow narcissists that relate to my current situation or have done so in the past. Maybe you could give me insight into some possible future scenarios I might expect to become my reality and I'm particularly interested to hear about aging narcissists and their romantic relationships.

I hope I have made my situation and objectives clear.

Thanks in advance.

I never focus too much on labels. The idea hat you can be categorised as a narcissist is pseudo-psychology at best. And doesn't fully take into account who you are. - you ever seen that derren brown where he writes everyone a letter detailing their personalities and their plans and they all think it's magic how specific it is to them and Then it turns out they all got the same letter? This is the same thing, you will read into the symptoms and find out ways that they relates to you.

I feel that if you get too hung up on this narcissism tag, you might be letting it define you - you're just you, nd remember that most people, if not all, always act on self-interest.

You can evolve beyond narcissism, it comes down to just being yourself, rather than trying to find boxes to put yourself in. Were all humans, we've all been selfish, arrogant, rude and we've all been nice, giving and thoughtful. - and as far as relationships are concerned, you might just have not met the right type of person yet - I a couple of years ago thought I might not be able to fall in love or really care about someone, but it was just coz I hadn't met someone who I genuinely did really, really like! (We're not together now by the way, - this ain't some "'find the one' speech.