When I came to my first year of college last year i decided to pursue the alpha lifestyle because of feeling beta almost all throughout high school. In a week I was dating a girl that other dudes had tried to fuck but couldn't for that whole first seven days. All throughout that relationship i had plenty of other hot girls asking if I was single, still dating her, etc. That eventually took a break for other girls. There was this girl I knew before I came out of my shell (HB8-9) that I never had the balls to flirt with, mostly because a lot of dudes went after her. I eventually did and ended up f-closing.

But despite all these achievements, i still hate the way I look. I feel like I don't really have a noticeable appearance. No doubt I look far better than I did a year ago, but I still absolutely cannot stand how I look.

I even avoid looking in mirrors and reflections out of fear that seeing myself will kill my self-esteem. I don't like getting my picture taken and I absolutely hate getting tagged in pictures on Facebook.

Maybe it's a beta insecurity that's still in me that I still need to flush out or something but I have no idea where to start. It's like there's some little nagging voice that keeps on going "You just conned those girls into sleeping with you, you aren't attractive".

Can anyone help with this?

It sounds like you haven't done anything that you feel proud of yourself for aside from having sex with attractive women. You should try to find something else to make you happy. Y'know, a passion of some sort.

_________________
The ultimate lesson of psychoanalysis is that human life is never "just life": we are possessed by the strange drive to enjoy life in excess, attached to a surplus which derails the ordinary run of things.
-Slavoj Zizek

Well, I dunno, that's not entirely true. I'm actually a music producer and have enough attention to have a site going up soon, and I'm pretty proud of that.

Well, one way or the other you have some intense self-hatred issues. Being completely serious: You should go see a therapist.

_________________
The ultimate lesson of psychoanalysis is that human life is never "just life": we are possessed by the strange drive to enjoy life in excess, attached to a surplus which derails the ordinary run of things.
-Slavoj Zizek