| I was attempting to find a way to improve my inner game today and I came up with this little exercise. I wanted to post what I did, and how you can do it too. I feel like it really helped me with some inner game stuff. The main topic of this exercise is finding identity. Identity helps you to build confidence in that you know who you are and what your ambitions are for life. Your identity helps decide your clothing style, your personality, your friendships and more. A strong identity helps you in pick up because to a woman, it raises your overall reproductive value. It does this by demonstrating that you have a clear-cut future, and that you possess a stable frame, set in reality, which will allow you provide and protect the women as a mate. Possessing a strong identity also helps to boost inner confidence and outward confidence, as well as the outward projection of style and energy.
For this exercise, you will need simply pen, paper, a devote mind to introspection, and some time.
When talking about identity, the projection of it is almost entirely non direct. (Body language, dress, personality, ect.) However, there is one very direct identifier of identity that presents itself in pick up. The classic question of work, or otherwise phrased, "what do you do?" While it is common in the community to take a C&F approach, telling a woman that you are an ass model will only suffice one time. If she goes on to say, "no really," avoiding the question with more C&F responses will project that you are hiding something. When answering a question like this, the worst response you can give is your honest field of work, unless that is, you are actually an ass model, in which case you probably have all the identity you need. Saying you are an accountant, or computer programmer is just plain boring. Any 9s or 10s are out there to meet rock-stars, celebrities, doctors, ceo's, not a real-estate agent. This is why it is important to highlight the qualities that compile your identity, specifically your ambitions.
For anyone who has read, "the game", a great example of expressing your identity can be found as an example of Mystery. Mystery always considered himself to be a illusionist. He took on that persona, and modeled his identity after it. Even when he was not preforming magic tricks per say, he still had the ambition of touring the world preforming his shows. He had this ambition. For mystery, his personal style expressed this identity. It is important to highlight ambitions that contribute to an identity such as having the goal of mastering the guitar, traveling the world, crafting a hand carved bench, preforming on tour, ect ect ect. Whatever the ambition is, it needs to loosely match your identity, even if it doesn't match your work. This is what you should highlight in response to this question. While you may work as tec support to put food on the table, it is important that you also have other major goals that you are striving to achieve.
With that out of the way, here is the activity.
Moving in the right direction to finding your own identity starts with asking yourself question such as:
Who am I?
What makes me special?
Is there a pattern to my life?
Where am I going?
Who can I trust?
What is my gift?
What is my message?
It starts with introspection. As this exercise progresses, feel free to stop and go out on a tangent about memories or experiences that define you, and explore them, analyze them, and relive them in order to help you in your quest for identity.
Start now by taking the paper and writing at the top: Who am I?
in order to answer this question, you must first think of who you are not. You must think of as well, who you do not want to be. Think now more in terms of stereo-types. For example on your list you might have: NOT: a writer, a stoner, a nerd, a musician, an artist. ect ect. This list should be long, and pretty easy to construct. It will help you narrow down your identity.
The next part to answering the question, Who am I, is to identify what separates you from other people. This can be qualities you may posses that make you unique, personality traits, or life-changing experiences. What makes you different from the next average joe? think hard and answer this question.
The next question to answer: What is my gift? Write this question down on the next section of your paper. underline it and leave some space for a few words under it. Skip down some space and write out a list of things that give you joy. This can be a list of specific activities or qualities or general phenomenons that make you happy. as you get to the end of your conscious ideas, begin to think of general traits and activities that when you in-vision the perfect version of you, you see yourself fulfilling. Write these down too. Now look at your list and think about which of all these things stand out to you most. Which have the most impact, are the most prevalent currently, you desire the most, and what is your gift? Try now to think of 1 or 2 words that summarize your gift, whether specific or general it doesn't matter, however try to make something more meaningful. Your gift should not be opening a beer bottle with your toes. I determined my gift(s) was leadership.
Next answer at least three of the following questions that you think most need answering, or find yourself capable of answering:
What makes me special?
Is there a pattern to my life?
Where am I going?
Who can I trust?
What is my message in life?
Make sure to give these good and long thought, just as you did with the previous questions.
Ok almost there. Next split your paper into halves by writing two side of an argument: The words good, and bad, with good on the left and bad on the right. underline each word. Under good, write the first 5 qualities that you want to emphasize in your lifestyle. The 5 qualities you want to be known for. If you are struggling to think of any refer back to your previous lists. After you've done this, write exact opposite of the "good" trait under the bad section. (For example Good: being mysterious, confidence, leadership, energetic, being spontaneous. Bad: being shallow, lack of confidence, following others, unenergetic, dull/rigid.) Personalize this part of the activity, let it grow on you a little bit.
Next write out how you can exhibit these qualities, both good and bad, outwardly for others to see. Get creative, you can show some qualities by telling stories of experiences, general interaction, body language, dress, and so much more. Identify how you can show the "bad" qualities as well. Its ok to write the same way of showing a quality multiple times for different qualities. After you've done this, tally the 5 ways of showing a quality that you wrote down the most. These are the things you need to work on most to improve you outward showing of your identity. You should try to improve these 5 methods for showing identity.
The last part of this activity is to write down what you think of as your identity, and what you think of as your ambitions. Writing your identity might not be easy if you don't immediately attach your identity to an activity. For example if you attach your involvement in a band to your personal life, you may simply say your identity is that of a musician. however, not everyone determines their identity solely on their activities or hobbies. If this is the case for you, think hard about what defines you as a person and what other may know you for. Remember the traits and how they are expressed.
Finally after this write down three specific ambitions you have, hopefully that are somewhat interesting. Mine were, learn to play popular songs on guitar and piano, run competitively in a 5k, and fulfill my dream to become a CIA/FBI Agent. Remember that your ambitions don't have to be things that you are currently working towards, or that easily attainable. They may be out there, and that's ok! It all goes to making you a more interesting person, who knows his identity.
Hopefully you found this as helpful in improving inner game as i did. I tried my best to replicate what I did so that other could try. If you have any questions feel free to message me or reply to the thread, just don't mail me about typos, its 2 am.
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CHAT