Wanted to share something that I've just realised, although it may seem obvious.

Whilst at college and getting into the game, everything was cool and progress was being made.

Whilst at a summer internship, everything was perhaps cooler and progress was still good.

Returning to a different college for a postgrad course allowed me to begin experimenting with 'alpha male' tribal game, which was cool and I could see the progress I was making in that particular direction.

HOWEVER: Dropping out of college to attempt independent learning and consequently being unemployed seriously destroyed my game. I dropped out for novel reasons but I've completely lost my sense of identity and I feel like I'm auto DLVing with each interaction.

I can no longer say "I'm a student", "I'm an intern at ___" or "I'm a postgrad student"

I feel like I need to qualify myself to myself. I feel naked. No labels to hide behind in a world that operates by labelling. No suit and no diploma.

OF COURSE: I know that it shouldn't necessarily affect me if I'm confident in what I'm doing. But I feel that being so easily labelled as a dropout somehow goes against my principles.

I've been fooling myself into thinking that I just need to accept that what I'm doing is of just a high value as anything else and be able to project it in the right way to other people. But in order to come to terms with it I would have to change my system of beliefs and self-expectation, something I don't think I truly want to do. Indeed, changing my system of beliefs/expectations may have undesirable consequences on my motivation to achieve or get a job.

You could call it wanting to justify my skills with a label, you could call it wanting to fit in, but I see the need to have a solid career-related identity as something which is natural and embedded into all of our value structures.

SO: It's time to do a bit of dick swinging and work ruthlessly to get myself back into a position where I can be proud of what I'm doing. Then the game can resume.

TL;DR

My game has flatlined because I don't feel like I have a defined place in the world due to being out of work and education. Changing the way you describe yourself isn't enough, you need to be happy based on your own value system (if your system's warped or too harsh, consider changing it). I need to get back my sense of identity by being proud of what I'm doing and will make it a priority to achieve this. Then my game should return and dem womenz will be loving it