I'm a loner. I never placed much value in having a social circle when i was younger.

Now i know i was dead wrong. I screwed up alot of friendships and now i really don't have a social circle at all. I'd say i got three friends really and their all gamers. So no female friends and when i go to bars it's always alone.

I'd love to have a social circle i even just started a facebook six months ago. I'm trying to reconnect with old friends or make new ones. Everyone i tried to befriend or hang out with just flaked on me. I see why too. I mean here i am on fb and they all see i don't have any friends so why hang out with me. Would you hang out with some childhood friend who all but disappeared in highschool? I bring nothing to them. I'm actually seeking validation from them you know. I'm sure they sense my neediness so they just never reply back to me.

You know what. fuck them. the fact that i'm a loner was eating me up inside 6 months ago. Self hate, depression and all that other shit. I know i need friends but you know i have to accept my loner status just as a cripple has to accept he'll never walk again.

So now on facebook i just write smartass comments and write things for my own enjoyment. I hope this idgaf attitude brings me friends instead of alienating me some more but well whatever. i made my bed and now i'll have to sleep in it.

Writing smartass comments on FB isn't going to get you any friends. You need to change your own character... as Heraclitus once said, "character is destiny". This is easier said than done, but I have done it myself. I used to be in your boat, and it sucked. Now, I have lots of friends all around the world, and the women I go out with really enjoy my company because I bring a lot of positive things to the table.

There are lots of books out there to help you, but I recommend Dale Carnegie's "How to Make Friends and Influence People" (it's a little bit extreme, in that it focuses entirely on getting other people to talk about themselves, but it's still good basic advice) and "The Art of Possibility" by Zander and Zander. This is a more general book about practicing and achieving a more positive view on life in general, which will help you enormously when it comes to meeting girls and developing friendships.

Finally, and perhaps most important, make it your #1 determination to have fun when you are with other people, be they men or women... if you are having fun (again, not in a way that demeans other but rather lifts them up) you will find that it is very easy to make friends.

Cheers, ~50

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--== I'm just learning this stuff too, so take everything I say with a grain of salt and follow your intuition ==--

thanks for the reply 50. Your right i am a very abrasive person and i put people down around me. I do it in a joking manner of course. But like they say in every joke there is a grain of truth. I seem to have a lot of hate in me. I think it stems from envy. It's a beautiful Sunday outside in my city and I feel all alone. And i envy all those people with friends going out to eat and having a good time.

I don't want this hate. I want friends. People tell me i'm cold. And that's true. If i think about i'm a fucking bully taking pride in my insults toward people. It's all becoming clear to me why i'm alone. I think i get my loneliness handle by accepting it. But beautiful days like this just get me desperate to meet someone. I just have to work at it i guess.

What i really think i need is a good cheery friend. I think i'm somewhat afraid to make one though because i'm generally not cheery so they won't want to hang out with me because I don't have alot of good to offer and who would want to stick around my negative shit.

Do cold approach with girls and befriend guys. Talk to everyone.