I have been asking my self lately if learning pickup for the last 7 years was helpfull and not useless..

I started like every pua out there by learning nlp from the big ross jefries..and so I seduced the very first girl which was the hottie of the school by using these techniques and got the doggy dinner bowl look.then i was walking with her and she told me she doesn't want to walk she wants to sit,so I immediately sit with her.I felt she was turned off immediately.Didnt know then that I have lost a test..Then I tried these techniques on other girls and it was ok but I felt that need for something else.For example I see the alphas do nothing and got the girls I tried every technique on..So I concluded I need the personality they have..

After that I searched and found the mystery method.I learned it and tried it and have great results with it..At school everybody was talking about me specially my closed friends.Girls became desperate to talk to me which I formed an ego around it.what happened is that whenever I was with a girl,the alphas of the school came and fucked me up because I reacted to them..I once lost a girl by telling her that I dont like so and so alpha guy..Then I knew I was missing something which is when I discovered tyler and amoging.

Now Im asking if learning the game is helpfull to me knowing that till now I could not have a descent girlfriend
so I will list the benefits I got from the game and you be the judge:

-I can make any girl attracted to me in 5 mins(david deangelo)
-I can be the star of any class Im in or any social setting(tyler durden)
-I can be the alpha of the alpha in any social setting(mystery)
-I can make a friend in a min
-I can make people at my work fear me and fear misbehaving with me..

And the negative thing:

-I sometimes appear weird .
-I sometimes lose girls due to overnegging or other reasons.
-I sometimes appear super low value to some people due to misbehaving.

Maybe if I didnt learn pua,I would have have a descent gf but who knows...

Seems like you've lost some respect for yourself, and as a result, it's beginning to affect your confidence.
Focus on the positives you've gotten out of PUA. The goal should be to feel sure about yourself enough that you don't even have to "game" anymore. When that happens, everything will come naturally, and you won't feel practised and awkward.

its seems like there are so many times when I return to my old wussy personality.I start questioning every thing.I start watching for clues that Im better than my friends based on looks.I start not taking action putting in my mind 'that the game is not for me based on the clues I take .And most of the time I focus on the times when girls didnt like me and are rude to me and This forces me not to take action..
Thanks for reminding me about confidence that reminded me of a very good rule :
competence -> confidence ->results (not so good)
confidence->results ->competence->confidence and so on....

I felt inclined to comment after reading the post from the OP..

This has been my situation for the last 10 months: 2 weeks of feeling good and each day my confidence improves > 3 days of depression in which I hit rock bottom > 2 weeks of feeling good and each day my confidence grows > 3 days of depression... etc

Each time I get depressed I realised that its caused by a "trigger" and after hitting the bottom I have to literally real learn everything..

^^why did I bother mentioning this, after a while I have gotten used to this cycle and I found ways to climb out of the pit faster and more effectively. After a while I realised the pit wasn't even that deep.. To me it sounds like you are currently on the dark side of the coin a.k.a in the pit.

^^ How are any of these traits different to what you would be without doing self improvement you have done in the last 7 years, yeah you may have a decent gf, you may be this or that... at the end of the day these are dumb irrational thoughts, which are false.

Things that worked for me to get me out of the negative pit of despair:

-Reminding myself the only truth in life is death
-You can never accurately guess what people think of you and thinking this way is false, as it rarely matches up to reality. However the more you think this way the more you negative fantasies match up to reality.
-Comparing yourself to other people as either better or worse is false as you are not them, but a unique snowflake.
-and many more..

I may be wrong and my advice might be redundant but this is the impression I got from your post

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My journal: eyrie-s-journal-to-becoming-the-man-vt148355.html

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