Lately I have seen many questions from my fellow PUAs about what to do in a certain situation and if it's acceptable to do this and this thing? You might say there is no one answer but in truth there is only one answer. The answer is your inner game.

"How do I become really good with girls?" this is the question every men had at one point of his life. After you develop this question you go to research "how to get girls to like you" "how to become irresistible to woman" etc... But after searching through hundreds of Google searches and reading tens of PUA books and watching so many infield pickup and motivational videos on YouTube, you probably end up with the same question and more or less the same results. And then you ask yourself "Is it that I don't go out enough?" " Is it my looks?" " Is it the way I dress?" "Oh no, perhaps it's my voice tonality?" etc... This clogs your mind and makes you feel worse about yourself and unfortunately many drop out because of this confusion.

So what's the real answer? My journey as a PUA began 2 years ago, I was extremely shy, insecure, had close to zero experience with girls and the worst part was I wasn't comfortable with being myself. As time went on I got really frustrated thinking why other guys had girls and so much attention and I didn't. What did they have that I didn't? I pushed off this problem until the end of high school because I though once college starts "that's all" I will get much better and stuff. Came college and same thing. I did start talking indirectly to girls about homework and stuff but that's where things ended. At that time for me that was good and encouraging because previously I haven't even talked to girls for more than 30 seconds about anything, so for me this was a big breakthrough. As months of college passed by I realized that I am on the road to getting better but this road is 100 miles and the way I was going I would only travel 2 miles a year.


So I started to read PUA websites, learned all the theory that exists and knew all the PUA terms that exist. I started going out more, talking to more guys girls in college and trying to ACT confident. I made sure to neg the girl from the start, act like I have many girls, and act cocky funny. At first the girls loved it they started giving me IOIs but as soon as I started to become more conscious and it was time to make a move all the suddenly I started losing my energy and looked more like a beta male because in the back of my head I knew that's not whom I was. I then got even more frustrated because I put so much work into it and haven't reaped the benefits. I started working out and achieved an amazing body, thought that would help. I started getting better results but only slightly better but still no dates, no makeoutes. I then read few books watched hours of videos and started to do more daygame. I thought experience will get me there. The daygame felt really hard to do almost like a drag on me but I still forced myself and did it. But still no results. After doing daygame for a while my number closes increased conversations got a little bit better but still no big results. At this point I was demoralized. I just stayed home the whole week thinking about if there is any hope for me or whether things will improve. I started to actually think about my life. I started to think what I am trying to do and why I am not successful.


And one time it just hit me. It's because I don't have my own reality of things. It's because I always act according to other peoples reactions, it's because I am not myself. I asked myself what my motive was when I approach a girl? I realized my approach was to get her to like me, and I would do endless things to accomplish this. Why would I do endless things for a girl a don't no I asked myself. I realized I was bending backwards for what girls think of me and in many cases of what people think of me. I embarked on a journey to create my own sense of self, my reality. I started to change my mindset slowly from "is this acceptable" to "this is my reality that's why this is acceptable" and my sense of self started to climb and become more valuable to me. I started to set boundaries for myself of what I would do for a girl and what I wouldn't. If my reality(boundary) was that girls that come 10 minutes late to date I don't wait for them, I would do that and leave. The girl can be hot, a model, or perhaps a celebrity but I would not bend backwards for anyone. If my reality was to kiss a girl 2 minutes after I met her I did it. I started looking at meeting woman as follows "I will go approach this girl and see if we like each other" instead of " I am going to approach this girl and try to get her to like me".



My opinions started to become more important to me that other peoples opinions and my confidence skyrocketed. I understood that their is a dynamic between a guy and a girl. If a girls reality is stronger than yours she will pull you into her reality and there would be no attraction. If your reality is stronger than hers she would be sucked into your reality and would be attracted to you and base her reality on yours. But I made sure not to TRY to suck the girl into my reality but rather project my reality onto her and if she gets sucked in ok good. If not, then we don't match each other, and why would I want her if we don't match. My reality started to become stronger and stronger and everything started to fall in it's right place. My reality became that I am attractive and girls want me. My reality was that girls do want to have sex on the first night they met you. I stopped giving the fuck what others thought of me. When questions such as " Is it ok to approach her she's with her mother" and other such questions they started to disappear because I answered them myself. I would ask myself "In your reality is it ok to do that?" and I would decide if it was ok or not.


This all happened within few weeks after I realized this and my success with woman AND in life went up. I started to become more confident and comfortable with myself and I loved myself very much (perhaps too much). Sorry for the long story but I had to bring up the whole story to illustrate the point. This is my advice to you guys. Start creating your own reality and living according to it. If questions come to you whether you should do something or not, ask yourselves if in your reality that's ok and follow your reality. Think of what your reality is of yourself. Think of yourself as what you want. I would think of myself as a irresistibly attractive guy who girls wish they can have who is also very successful and follows his own rules and will not bend his beliefs for anybody at any time. I have read tons of PUA material and tons of videos and yea, I probably know every famous PUA and his theories but I think this will help you the most. Hope you guys will get better.

- Amazing Art -

_________________
"Experience is the teacher of all things"

I was looking forward to reading this but it kind of looks painful.

Hope "AmazingArt" does not mind - I also find it difficult to read - hope it's easier now - it's a good post btw.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Lately I have seen many questions from my fellow PUAs about what to do in a certain situation and if it's acceptable to do this and this thing?
You might say there is no one answer but in truth there is only one answer.
The answer is your inner game.
"How do I become really good with girls?" this is the question every men had at one point of his life.
After you develop this question you go to research "how to get girls to like you" "how to become irresistible to woman" etc...
But after searching through hundreds of Google searches and reading tens of PUA books and watching so many infield pickup and motivational videos on YouTube,
you probably end up with the same question and more or less the same results.
And then you ask yourself "Is it that I don't go out enough?" " Is it my looks?" " Is it the way I dress?" "Oh no, perhaps it's my voice tonality?" etc...
This clogs your mind and makes you feel worse about yourself and unfortunately many drop out because of this confusion.

So what's the real answer?
My journey as a PUA began 2 years ago, I was extremely shy, insecure, had close to zero experience with girls and the worst part was I wasn't comfortable with being myself.
As time went on I got really frustrated thinking why other guys had girls and so much attention and I didn't.
What did they have that I didn't? I pushed off this problem until the end of high school because I though once college starts "that's all" I will get much better and stuff.
Came college and same thing. I did start talking indirectly to girls about homework and stuff but that's where things ended.
At that time for me that was good and encouraging because previously I haven't even talked to girls for more than 30 seconds about anything, so for me this was a big breakthrough.

As months of college passed by I realized that I am on the road to getting better but this road is 100 miles and the way I was going I would only travel 2 miles a year.
So I started to read PUA websites, learned all the theory that exists and knew all the PUA terms that exist.
I started going out more, talking to more guys girls in college and trying to ACT confident.
I made sure to neg the girl from the start, act like I have many girls, and act cocky funny.
At first the girls loved it they started giving me IOIs but as soon as I started to become more conscious and it was time to make a move all the suddenly
I started losing my energy and looked more like a beta male because in the back of my head I knew that's not whom I was.
I then got even more frustrated because I put so much work into it and haven't reaped the benefits.
I started working out and achieved an amazing body, thought that would help.
I started getting better results but only slightly better but still no dates, no makeoutes.

I then read few books watched hours of videos and started to do more daygame. I thought experience will get me there.
The daygame felt really hard to do almost like a drag on me but I still forced myself and did it. But still no results.
After doing daygame for a while my number closes increased conversations got a little bit better but still no big results.
At this point I was demoralized. I just stayed home the whole week thinking about if there is any hope for me or whether things will improve.
I started to actually think about my life. I started to think what I am trying to do and why I am not successful.
And one time it just hit me. It's because I don't have my own reality of things. It's because I always act according to other peoples reactions, it's because I am not myself.
I asked myself what my motive was when I approach a girl? I realized my approach was to get her to like me, and I would do endless things to accomplish this.
Why would I do endless things for a girl a don't no I asked myself.
I realized I was bending backwards for what girls think of me and in many cases of what people think of me.

I embarked on a journey to create my own sense of self, my reality. I started to change my mindset slowly from "is this acceptable" to "this is my reality that's why this is acceptable" and my sense of self started to climb and become more valuable to me.
I started to set boundaries for myself of what I would do for a girl and what I wouldn't.
If my reality (boundary) was that girls that come 10 minutes late to date I don't wait for them, I would do that and leave.
The girl can be hot, a model, or perhaps a celebrity but I would not bend backwards for anyone.
If my reality was to kiss a girl 2 minutes after I met her I did it.
I started looking at meeting woman as follows "I will go approach this girl and see if we like each other" instead of " I am going to approach this girl and try to get her to like me". My opinions started to become more important to me that other peoples opinions and my confidence skyrocketed.
I understood that their is a dynamic between a guy and a girl.
If a girls reality is stronger than yours she will pull you into her reality and there would be no attraction.
If your reality is stronger than hers she would be sucked into your reality and would be attracted to you and base her reality on yours.
But I made sure not to TRY to suck the girl into my reality but rather project my reality onto her and if she gets sucked in ok good.
If not, then we don't match each other, and why would I want her if we don't match.
My reality started to become stronger and stronger and everything started to fall in it's right place.
My reality became that I am attractive and girls want me. My reality was that girls do want to have sex on the first night they met you.
I stopped giving the fuck what others thought of me.
When questions such as " Is it ok to approach her she's with her mother" and other such questions they started to disappear because I answered them myself.
I would ask myself "In your reality is it ok to do that?" and I would decide if it was ok or not.
This all happened within few weeks after I realized this and my success with woman AND in life went up.
I started to become more confident and comfortable with myself and I loved myself very much (perhaps too much).

Sorry for the long story but I had to bring up the whole story to illustrate the point.
This is my advice to you guys. Start creating your own reality and living according to it.
If questions come to you whether you should do something or not, ask yourselves if in your reality that's ok and follow your reality.
Think of what your reality is of yourself. Think of yourself as what you want.
I would think of myself as a irresistibly attractive guy who girls wish they can have who is also very successful and follows his own rules and will not bend his beliefs for anybody at any time. I have read tons of PUA material and tons of videos and yea, I probably know every famous PUA and his theories but I think this will help you the most.
Hope you guys will get better.

good post dude

Thanks.

_________________
"Experience is the teacher of all things"

Great Post. It made it make sense.


I HAVE to Ask. What is the best way to go about structuring yourself and your inner game? Are there good programs/gurus out there for this? Are there good NLP techniques or something. I am still a noob/afc, what helped you the most w/ your inner game?

I realize your point, on setting your own reality, but I also think there might be material out there to help me get there quickly.

Great post. It's essentially about confidence and frame control. Reminds me of the part of The Game when Style talks about Tom Cruise. Cruise is the ultimate alpha because he is 100% confident in everything he does and he makes the final decision about everything in his life. He doesn't seek approval or validation or seek opinions and advice. He simply does whatever he determines is worth doing.

Solid inner game is really just a reflection of your confidence and your ability to maintain the frame of your choosing. If you open a set, start doing badly, get blown out, then walk away with your tail between your legs, that is a weak frame. However, you could be in the same set and when it starts going badly,you eject with confidence and freeze out the set and move on to another set like the last one never happened.

_________________
“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn

Hey,

Hey, i just pm you. Great post.

Fuck bro - excellent post.
I've really been feeling like shit the past few months, it has gone so far that I've actually lost myself and my game. While I read this post, I could instantly remember my old mindset I would have when I was out gaming.
Thanks a whole lot, now I finally have something more concrete to coach myself with that'll hopefully make me feel better.