I am really sick of the person I am now! Yet I can't find the balls or motivation to change!
Mentally I am a shy guy until you get to know me, I lack confidence and feel lonely around college mostly! Physically I have an average body (no problem there), but I do have these growths called keloids that have severly destroyed my confidence to the point I have had to turn down sex! So as you can see it has a big effect on my life.

Well anyway I have always been a quiet and reserved guy throughout but do come out of my shell. I was always shy as kid couldn't even talk to some relatives of mine until I grew out of it (I feel so stupid for looking back on it now). I was picked on a little bit in school as a small kid a little, very little.

As for me now, I am still that quiet guy and everyone from home knows it! I am commuting to college everyday from home (financial issues). I go out almost every other weekend but only local because my friends are broke or some other excuses and I do love the city! In college I am a loner, I'm in 2nd yr, failed to make any friends in 1st yr. I feel so lost there! The only thing that has kept me going is the degree at the end and the knowing I won't be a complete failure.

I have tried doing the "30 day challenge" completing 5 days then giving up. I would love to have been pushed into that but nobody else i know is interested and I have no friends around college. For some reason I have managed to k-close a couple of 7s to 8s which you would think would boost my confidence but no, not me!

One girl I did hook-up with is back in my real-life again (we stayed in contact online occasionally) and I am crushing on her AGAIN like your AFC. She obviously finds some good in me because she told me to hang out sometime, which i plan on next week! Probably just as friends eventhough the last time we met 3yrs ago we were hooking-up. Even as a friend this girl could be goldust, but of course I wanna see if she still has any attraction towards me 1st. I think I want to get over her but I also want this to be my 1st test, to see if I have made any steps in the right direction.


So guys how do I save/change my dreadful AFC life around?

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I am here to learn and never give up.

A few thoughts come to mind:

First, you're actually much better off than a lot of guys. You've had some experiences go well, even gotten some kisses.

Second, if the keloids are a big issue, I think you should look for an online forum or support group for that or for other skin issues or whatever category that fits in. Talking to other people who have that issue can help a lot, especially giving you some examples of other people who have the same issue and have managed to have relationships. You'll feel less alone about it.

Third, it's ok to be introverted. There's nothing wrong with that and plenty of introverted people are attractive. Build your interactions around a more introverted, but still interesting character. Lots of outgoing women are intrigued by that.

Finally, your self esteem is a deep thing that can go all the way back to your family, your upbringing and so on. So whatever remains after thinking about the first few points, you may need to dig deeper into where this self image came from and do more inner game work on all of that stuff.

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