So here's the thing. I continuously get "put down" by friends or associates, I don't feel like I get the respect I deserve. Everything I say comes out wrong and I always get criticised for my ways of things.

For example I have these two friends. Guy 1 and Guy 2. Guy 1 is the alpha, Guy 2 is the beta. Guy 1 is used to criticise and judge Guy 2, so Guy 2 takes that out on me, while Guy 1 kinda leaves me alone and gets left alone by Guy 2.

So what Guy 2 does is verbal confrontation and continuously judges my way of doing things along with endless physical anoyance. So what I have been trying to do to get him to stop is to simply ignore him when he's being anoying to not give in. But at the same time I feel like I should be doing something to him vica versa, or else I look like his play puppet or a chicken who doesn't fight back, whatever. Whatever I do I feel like he won't ever stop being a douche, whether I ignore him or "fight" back. Also he tries to control me and uses minor situations to try tell me what to do, which is anoying.

Sorry for my english, this text probably sounds worse than it is in reality, but I just need to learn to handle situations when people try to control you or put you down or verbally try to get a reaction out of you. I think it's partially because people look at me as an easy target (which is because I'm constantly absent minded, though not stupid) and because they look at me as a threat (because honestly, I look ridiculously good, which these days seems to be the only thing I've got going for my self).

Thx

Dealing with controlling people is very difficult. You have to build this sort of inner wall so nothing they say gets to you either good or bad. Even doing this they may not stop trying. But the best you can do is show that your inner self is not affected by them. Just imagine a wall of plastic between you and them.

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http://www.communicationskillsactivities.net <-Click to Learn Secrets from a World Champion Public Speaker

First of all right of the bat I can tell your not stupid. You can tell a fair amount about someones basic communication skills just by a few sentances. Generally stupid people dont actually realise they are stupid.

You have no lack of 'core social intelligence' as you elequently put it. You just dont know how to deal with this type of person yet. People put others down because of thier own lack of confidence. True alphas dont put people down or lowe others value, ever. They dont need to. You dont need to bite back. If its physical and you cant ignore it then just look at them like they are a small annoying child and ask them quietly to stop. Say 'What are you doing? Stop trying to annoy me, your emmbarassing yourself'. Not rising to it is the best way to deal with it, chances are they will realise its not geting them anywhere and stop.

Hi John,

Some thoughts...

First off, these don't sound like great friends. High value and high self esteem are created by you looking out for yourself. People with confidence issue simply do not believe in themselves, and mentally and sometimes physically do not look after or out for themselves... confidence is believing you deserve better, and implementing change to create that better reality.

Surrounding yourself with people who put you down, and putting up with people who consistently do so, is not high value.

You're looking for ways to improve your value TO these people, but I think the actual key is that why should you? If these people don't respect you they don't deserve your time.

That said, it can be difficult if these really are your friends. Perhaps it's their sense of humor. Those are some big ifs - but if you don't want to kick them to the curb like I would recommend, then I see no problem in bringing it up to them.

You can be point blank, or put it like, "Am I such a threat to your securities that you feel the need to put me down all the time? You aren't going to spoil my night if that's what your trying to do,".

BRING IT UP. Don't shrug it off, "what would an alpha do", dammit a man who is confident, high value shouldn't take that and wouldn't.

If they still continue, despite pointing out they are doing it (some people are natural put downers, they don't mean it, they have a poor sense of others feelings) then these aren't friends.

Good luck with the dilemma, keep us posted.

Riot.

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Using situational openers?
Throwing yourself in?
Able to flow conversationally from every good or bad comment they make?
That's the way its done.
The only game is natural game.

Read Social intelligence by Daniel Goleman.
Its a good book to help your social awkwardness