Hey guys,
I have got huge problem.
I feel ugly, but sometimes people even compliment me. I don't even know if I am beautiful or ugly, I just feel weird. My hands look a lot old. I have no confidence and I overthink everything. I am socially retarded but I have some good friends. I get very easily envy of people who are cute beautiful happy cool, it totally puts me really down. I have had 4 gfs. Only had sex with this last one and I pretty much fucked up. The first time we tried I had first time ansiety it it went soft. The last time I lasted like one minute and ejaculated. She is much younger than me, yet she has 100x more confidence than me. I know I'm loosing her. I dont feel sexual, confidence, I feel weird depressed, down, anxious and socially retarded. I have always tried to mimic what other cool people do. I have never been natural. I overthink and if I relax I will just be quiet and say nothing. I get this idea that I dont have the impact on people that I should have. I am always sad, sleepy, tired. This is draining me, I went to a psycologist but she didn't help much. I am thinking of giving a break with my gf, cuz I just can't stand it anymore. Any advice? pls

(any information you need just ask)
hug

Has it been like this your whole life? Or did it start at a certain point?

I think seeing the psychologist was a good idea, but maybe you had the wrong one. You could try a few and see if you find one that clicks.

It is sad because it sounds like you actually, in reality, are going quite well. You've got friends, you've had girlfriends, you get compliments from people. It sounds like you have a girl now who likes you and yet you want to end it just because of the anxiety.

I think you should think of the anxiety as almost like another person who keeps butting in and trying to ruin things for you. It may not be easy to stop but try not to identify with it.

And please share more about how this all started for you. And definitely keep looking for a person who can help you professionally with your anxiety as it sounds very difficult for you.

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Hey clear, thanks. It's funny how your nickname complies with your writing (: .
Currently I am waiting for a psychiatric exam.

I have always been a little like this, a little, but recently it has gone wild. When I was a kid I even invented my own supersistion (they were highly complex lol). How weird is that? I am a little bit strange and I find it hard to socialize, I am not natural. I have to make an effort.

My dad passed away last year which turned my life upside down but I don't even think it has changed me a lot. I am taking a course with future (tough). I get easily bored with people and so they get easily bored with myself

I would like to have a bigger impact on people. A bigger deliver when telling stories or just when talking. More confidence and more energy and wanting to do stuff.
Hug

Also, people keep asking me why am I sad. When I am normal lol. It drives me nuts. --

I would say it's important to find out what the exam says. If this is something deeper than just a typical "inner game" type situation then hopefully the professionals can help you. In the meantime, try to appreciate that it sounds like you're actually doing well on the outside though you aren't feeling it on the inside.

Let us know how things go with the exam, my friend. And thank you for the compliment.

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