| Who I am: Im a 19 years old guy, waiting to start university this year.
Honestly, I dont know where or how to start, so im gonna start from where i think things are relevant. Here is goes:
I got my frist girlfriend when I was 13. She was in my head, waay out of my league. Surprisingly, she asked me out. We went on one date and she dumped me. I didnt get it at the time because I was immature but looking back on it, I never even touched her on that date. Forget kissing, I dont even think I hugged her. This break up didn't really affect me much as I wasn't very into her emotionally and I moved on quickly.
My second girlfriend came when I was 15 or 16. I met her on vacation on a cruise ship. I didnt get her there though. The thing is she was from Perth and I lived in Singapore at the time. This girl was seriously an easy 8. I then started msn chatting with her and asked her out. She was so into me that I got turned off after a while. I would literally avoid logging onto msn cause of her. Then we split cause I promised I would visit her and I didnt. In hindsight, I was a total dick to her. A few years later we met up again and she tried to get with me. (I was still a virgin at this time). I should have gone for it but once again all I did was hug her in a very friend like way.
One year passed and then I came across PUA. I was 17 maybe and became a total theory junky. I did go out and open sets, my immature mind expecting the girls to immediately want me as soon as I said "hey guys who lies more?" When I realized this wasn't so, I stopped trying to PUA and instead started going out drinking with buddies at clubs and acting like I was a big time player. I would advice my buddies on how to get girls when really some of them could probably get girls much easier than me.
(Things started going really wrong from here on)
After a few months I moved to Malaysia for my high school. I was still 17 at the time. I went into school, acting like I was from new york (dunno thought it would get me girls at the time) and starting bragging to everyone about how much of a player I was and how I was banging models every night. Ofc the AFCs jumped on it. However, the good looking girls avoided me and the alphas and naturals used to make fun of me subtly.
Then I met a girl. She was maybe a 6 in the looks department. But I found her attractive. I, being a theory junky, managed to get her using PUA material. Only problem was it took me 6 months to get her.
At the same time as this happened, a lot of the other people in my school started figuring out that I was full of shit. They tried to talk to my newly found girlfriend. But she was so into me that she ignored them.
Also at the same time, I started smoking loads and loads of marijuana. I know pot isnt addictive. But it became an escape from reality for me.
The next few months were horrible. I smoking 3 joints a day. All my friends had stopped talking to me cause they knew I was full of shit. And the only contact I had outside of my family was my girlfriend. This made me ridiculously possesive and controlling.
After a few months this got too much for my girlfriend and she dumped me. I decided then that I would quit weed and never lie intentionally again. I did both and quite sucsessfully too. I apologized to her and all my friends and came clean. Alot of them forgave me and I was very happy. And I finished high school with great results and had an awesome prom night with my girlfriend who I got back together with.
After my high school was finished, I moved back to Singapore. I continued doing long distance with my girlfriend. The problem then was that I had left all my friends in Malaysia behind and my old friends from Singapore were gone to uni already. This made me insecure and controlling once again. I lost my girlfriend for good. (It was my fault. Shes a great girl)
Then I decided its time to PUA. No bullshit routines. Just talk to girls and be yourself. Act alpha, be confident ect. Sorta the modern pua style.
Since I had quit pot though, I was drinking alot. Not like an alchoholic, but like someone who couldn't be fully social without it.
So heres where I stand now:
I do go out 2-3 times a week. But I still dont have the guts to cold approach 12 sets a night. I maybe get one set done after I get enough liquor in me. I prob seem like a drunk tard sometimes. I do have male friends here now and we do go out. However, I realized that I need to get drunk to cold approach. Which is wrong. Right now is also a key time of my life as im chosing my uni destination and need my mind to be clear for that. Oh also I put on loads of weight over the last 2 years.
My plan:
Forget PUA for now (atleast night game) and focus on myself. Quit drinking for atleast a month. Eat healthy and workout. Get new clothes I look good in. Get a new haircut. And just focus on socializing and being as confident as I can when walking through my daily life. After I dont feel the need to drink at clubs all the time and after Im well into the routine of eating healthy, working out and I have my natural confidence back. Start Pua again. But this time really put my mind to it.
Any advice or support would be extremly welcome. Thanks and sorry for the long read.
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