OK guys, first time posting in this category of the forums.

I'll get straight to the point. Whilst I have become more confident talking to girls sexually and just in general, and whilst I am congruent when I am with people, when I am without people (at home, or just alone) I have major inner problems, severe depressive mood.

When I am with a girl, I tend to act outcome independent, meaning I don't care what happens, but I actually do. This comes out when I am at home by myself. I become outcome dependent. And ever since I can remember I have been more of a pessismist than anything else. Lately it has been getting incredibly worse.

This year, the year my success with girls has gone up due to PUA, my depression has gotten more severe as well. Before I had nothing to be depressed about, now I do - namely I fall for girls VERY easily. It's always been this way, and if I don't get her, even though I move on, I get depressed easily.

right now I'm in a situation with a girl whom I fell for, but things are complicated. My point isn't about the situation, but about my "inner game". Most of the time when I am not with her I am depressed, when I am with her, I feel really good. Therefore, I feel bad most of the time and good only when with her.

I have seriously been thinking going to a doc, but I dunno. I have been very sensitive all my life, a very feminine part of me which I have been embarrassed about most of my life, and only lately have come to accept. But I feel that I can't keep on going like this, because it is a set up for a lifetime of depression.

I get attached extremely easily. Why? Because I've never had a relationship with a girl before, and it has been the one thing I've always truly wanted. And yes I understand the ideology behind getting a girl, unneediness, etc. But again, that's not my question.

If you guys have had a similar experience or just have advice in general, it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

I'm going to be blatantly honest here. I have the excact same problem with the little diffference that i do not get so depressed. Just like a medium amount. I have had a bunch of different oneitises, i meet a nice girl we hang out but on my behalf i never create enough ST and end up effin up. To be honest, it gets in your head.

An example. Just recently i met a girl, about the end of April and hanged out with her/talked a lot. She had/has a boyfriend but i thought that with nice game i could out strawmantechnique him. Problem is, this girl flaked every date we planned (which were three and she always told me in advance). The last one was supposed to be last Sunday which is the day before yesterday. Plus, now i found out she'll move in with that guy.

So, what i'm planning to do and suggest you too is change your mentality. Change the mentality because getting attached all the time and directing all energy and thoughts to one person you propably won't get will only fuck your game up hard. There's a zillion beautiful and attractive girls, if you don't get one it only leaves you with other options. No point in moping in the dark of your bedroom and feel sorry. You have a lot of opportunities go out and improve your game and there will come a time when you can get the one you want. I promise, if you sarge and improve youself then those onceinpast oneitises won't even be remembered. Or at least that's what i'm aiming towards. Improve my game and improve myself. That's all any of us can do.

all I can say is ekhart tolle. he is awesome. TPB has heaps of his stuff
learn to love yourself. as gay as it sounds do it.
I have a similar problem, yet different in the way it presents itself and how it fucks my life up.
build a healthy life and set acheavments outside girls.
carreer based, health and fitness based, hobby based.
these things give me somthing to be proud of instead of looking at and concentrating on failure parts of my life. Ie past relationships.
Im just realising now that now that Iv stopped learning (finished uni) that I am more prone to depression. Living by myself also is an exaggerating factor. so I try to get out more and more.
read and internalise as much self help crap as you can find that hits a nerve its not all a hoax and most is free.