hey guys,

one of the sticking points that some of us encounter is the superficial aspect of the game. For instance, I have a hard time to acknowledge my ego's desires that appear in a second of wanting to fuck the HB that I meet in a club. I've been meditating and practicing yoga for a while now, and I am having a hard time to reconcile the "let go of your desires, desires are suffering" part of the buddhist mentality that leads to happiness, and my ego's suffering of not going for the girls that my ego wants to fuck!

One way to feel good about this and to reconcile those 2 parts of me, is to say that while I acknowledge the desire, I stay in the present moment and accept the present, which is that I am not sleeping with her right now and that I'm okay with that. That I accept the desire, while doing the steps (approaching-...) and seeing if there's a connexion or if I'm still into her after flirting with her.

But even then, the BIG problem that I have a hard time resolving, is that the more I am conscious of everything being an illusion and not being the source of my happiness, I find myself running after girls who haven't grasped this concept -i.e. the really hb in clubs and bars, for the most part. Why would I accept to limit this part of my life to fulfilling this desire? I sometimes feel like I'm waisting my time, that this doesn't really make sense for me.

How to reconcile those 2 parts of me? Any of you have had a similar difficulty with this?

The weird thing is, during the day, I don't have the same problem of going direct with a girl that just crossed my way! I can be full of love and radiating it. I appreciate the moment of a sunny day, appreciating the beauties that surround me (nature,...) and the girls that I meet are one of them. When I'm in that zone, it's totally natural for me to go up to her, and I am rarely anxious when I discuss with her.

It also makes me think of WHY am I doing pick up, what do I want from women, and why is that important for me. Do I want just the sex with no connexion, no feelings, or no appreciation for the girl's values and ideas? This fun, this enjoyment, is it worth the efforts? On the other hand, if I wasn't picking up girls, and not acting on any of my desires, I'd stay sitting, not eating not drinking, just observing my thoughts.

An on PUA told me that your ego, mind, spirit and body are all of value. The people who have taken action based on their ego's desires have created as a result some of the wonderful things in this world. That was a turning point in my life some months ago. I disgraced money and superficiality, but now I am thinking differently, even if I still have some doubts.

My conviction now is that through consciousness, you can control your ego to act on certain desires that you consciously set in your mind. You figure out the "why" part -the most important in my mind, then set goals and just take action. You revise this process through time as your consciousness evolves.

Any opinions on this?

If you take the perspective that life is all about love, how to answer this question? Doing the things I love and have a passion for, appreciating prosperity for what it can bring to me and to others by giving back, taking my place in the world while letting others have theirs, i.e. not over-consuming objects and holding on to money or goods that are not meaningful to me. And appreciating every moment of interaction with women and seeing where it leads me. Going with the flow. Women are just like any other object in this world, and can be a source of enjoyment or of suffering.

That summaries my thoughts so far... still a lot of confusion even if I've been in the game for about a year now!

In taoist thinking,women are your other half which you lack energetically.By having harmonious relationship you balance each other.You can also do it going solo that is your choice.See nature it is always in harmony.If you believe buddhist
philosophy why are you attached to objects which offer no true happiness?
If you have wisdom sex offers a higher path to enlightened consciousness.
But you are feeding only your baser instincts like hunger.See it in a different light.
Many people cannot see this,you are on the threshhold.What do you want? Desire
or enlightenment?

There is a saying: What is GOD? It is man minus his ego.

_________________
law of attraction=Your reality is the outcome of your thoughts.

thx for this response, greatly appreciated. i remember eckhart tolle saying something similar about men/women relationships, thx for reminding this to me.

about being attached to objects, that is the main concern of my message. I am still seeking a solution to the question. I see 2 alternatives, either I let go of the desire of the objects (women), or I acknowledge that it is a source of motivation to improve myself (cuz I gotta do so in order to get the real 10s) and therefore accept to go after this desire...

Perhaps an other way of seeing this is that I don't need women to be happy, therefore I don't attach myself to them as my source of happiness, but rather I see their presence in my life as a "meditation object", something to keep my focus on while I am aware of my perceptions of her and sensations I feel, while staying detached/the observer.

As to wanting to fulfill your desire or being enlightened, isn't it just 2 different desires from the Ego? Enlightenment is an outcome, being in the present moment is the process...

You see women as objects when they are actually the yin (female energy) of the yang (male energy) counterpart.A human worthy of your respect.The problem is that once you share or intermingle your individual energies during sex there is
a change in overall quality of yours/hers chi or lifeforce to the better or worse.You are transformed whether you like it or not.To my understanding there two kinds of desire,one from your loins and the one from the heart.Of course there is no doubt which is the higher plane.There is no such thing as detachment once you exchange energies through sex.You can rationalise all you want because it does not change the fact.

Enlightenment is an outcome but not by being in the moment .It's the desire
for truth and love and it's concommitant resolution to the purest energy state of being.

_________________
law of attraction=Your reality is the outcome of your thoughts.

i still have some inner work to do on this. would you have any books to recommend about this?

thx!

Read Mantak Chia's " Taoist secrets of love- Cultivating male sexual energy"
"Multi orgasmic man" and it's companion female version.The english translations of Tao Te Ching.You can download them from free download sites like rapid...
if you know what I mean.

edit: Search Mantak chia-you'll get a list of his books.

_________________
law of attraction=Your reality is the outcome of your thoughts.

I couldn't care less about others. well I do. but I'm FIRST.
sorry but I love myself more then the others.

I do love to fuck girls and I do not care much after the game. Actually in the old days I loved more the game then to fuck.


But why should I care? Every girl I slept with is grateful that she did. I leave them better then they were before.
I'm not a creep or anything. It's not my fault that they want me more and I don't want more.

I'm brutally honest and sometimes they argue with me but honestly 100% they came back just to apologize and to thank me for being honest.

I'm very honest with myself and the others.
Can't see where the problem is. keep things simple. be honest. carpe diem. leave girls better then they were before, go next one.

thx 1eye! it really is what I needed to deepen my sexual life and to make more sense of my relationships with women. I'm 100 pages in the 2nd book u recommended and i'm practicing 2x/day with the exercises!