Ok so this is something im extremely embarrassed about. Please dont give me shit because of this , I do not want to do this I just automatically do. I feel really bad about it too.

Ok so the issue is ... I am not arrogant or anything, I am actually quite insecure but I tend to feel superior really often.And this is stopping me from giving people a chance , friends as well as potential relationships or one night stands.

I put many people in the category of "loser".. MANY

I think this might be because of my mother. I hang out with many different types of people , and my mum criticizes many of them. She says their "trashy" or she doesnt approve when they are not highly educated. She always has something to comment about them. Some are too skinny others too fat. She doesnt like it when I hang out with people who arent well off. She says I hang out with people less then me so I can feel better about myself.

This is not true, all the people I hang out with are people who arent spoiled brats and act like divas , because to me that is loser. I dont like very posh people who act like their the shit , cuz thats pathetic I find. Now in Holland posh guys have long hair which they wear gelled back. They have a nice dressing style and they are quite hot. Yet their show off ways disgust me . I refuse to hang out with these types of people and instead I hang out with intelligent good looking friends with a nice style.They have to be crazy when we go out and be able to keep up with me , and im pretty insane when were out .

Now , when Im out and a guy doesnt look like I want him to look ,he doesnt have a chance with me .When he is boring its the end. When he hangs out with lame people its the end. When he is a little too nerdy its the end.

Im just going crazy because automatically without wanting to do so I write the whole world off. Its like nobody is good enough for me.

Like in my school I used to only talk to a few people because I classified the rest as losers. Because they were ugly nerds who didnt go out or because they werent extroverted enough or whatever.

When I walk on the streets and this girl is wearing white boots I cringe and Im like eeuw trashy loser. Or when a guy talks with a low class accent or when he talks too posh i dislike him. When he doesnt dress indie or trendy i would never give the guy a chance.

In the end in highschool I sortof became a loser because I didnt have many friends because of my extreme judgemental ways.

Now I am a good person deep down , and I dont want to do this !
But I find myself doing this automatically and I hate it.
I want to talk to everyone and treat everyone equally, give everyone a chance.

Like I dont hang out with my old high school friends because they dont do Uni and they dont dress nicely.

I feel intimidated around really posh posh people and still I even classify those as un cool wannabes.

How can I stop this horrid pathetic behaviour?
this behaviour is leaving me with no friends and is stopping me from getting laid.

Like last this guy whom was older then me wanted to take me home.
He is older + he is studying + he is hot+ good style +

then he told me he lived in a big apartment and he had a big car ..this turned me off so much I didnt go home with him.

What the hell is wrong with me ,,, I need help !

Hi there.

Don't worry, your problem has a logical explanation and there is a solution. The behavior and feelings that you describe here are the result of one or several beliefs that you have, and if you eliminate all of the beliefs that are causing this problem, the problem will go away.

I can't know for sure what the beliefs are without talking to you, but I would guess that they're something along the lines of "People are inferior to me" or "No one is good enough for me" or "Hanging out with losers makes me inadequate" or "What makes people good enough for me is [x]". Take into consideration that it is possible to have a belief you completely disagree with, and still believe it.

I took Morty Lefkoe's official training to learn how to eliminate beliefs, so if you want we can chat on SPAM sometime and I'll help you for free. Send me a PM.

Don't be so hard on yourself, you have pinpointed an area of your personality that you would like to address and alter,

the first step in taking care of something you consider a problem, is realizing that, that thing is infact a problem

next, take action on improving your problem, then reflect on the action you have taken, analyze and improve the way you are altering the behavior, and continue taking action until you have formed a habit,

having really high standards is not nessicarily a problem, but it can lead you down a path of becoming bitter and lonely,

they say about 10% of single guys have sex with about 90% of single women, so really you are in the same boat as alot of women, they all tend to gravitate towards the same guys,

and the problem with this is, as soon as you get a guy that you deem ''good enough'', it is very likely you will not be the only girl you deems him as so, and in no time you will realize you can not keep him, and he is seeing other girls

but it seems you already found something you want to fix, and really only you can find a way to fix that thing, it is hard to not be shallow we are all programed to be shallow in one way or another, but sometimes trying to see the good in someone beyond the exterior and giving people more of a chance can let you see the good in people beyond what kind of clothes they wear, and who they hang out with, and how silly they are, or what they look like,

if you don't feel anything for them, that is not really your fault you can not help what you are attracted to, but you can at least give people more of a chance and realize when you are judging people before even getting to know them, you might find alot of people who you thought were totally lame, turned out to be really awesome

Thanks to both so much for answering without judgement.
Sorry for my late reply but I didn't dare to log in since today because I just felt so embarrassed .

I feel so much better after these two comments




Alex I will pm you , thanks for willing to help . Really appreciate it !