This is NOT a how to guide, this does NOT cover any issues in detail, reading this will NOT magically transform you. This IS my journey, and I would like to share it with you with the possibility it will help just one person onto the right path, or even if I can gain input to further my journey.

Three years ago I read 'The Game' this gave me tips tricks and gimmicks to attract women, naturally I used them to the best of my ability while in my spare time scrolling this very forum for even more tip tricks and gimmicks, while taking a quick look at inner game but unable to understand the concept or state it described i quickly went back to using 'canned material' while TRYING to maintain a constantly happy and energetic state. I now realise this approach was defective without solid inner game as i was hanging on the REACTIONS of women and my subconscious neediness for validation from others was highly unattractive in itself.

A year later I landed myself a girlfriend. (more by luck than judgement)

Now that base was covered I brought 'The Power of Now' by Eckhart Tolle, this was a good book on dissolving the ego - That thing that makes you close up inside and feel very self concious when someone challenges you. And the drive which causes you to 'show off' (its better explained in the book and I plan to read it again soon as I will have a better understanding of it now)

a year later i went travelling solo for a month, and then broke it off as soon as I got back as I realised I hadn't been happy in the relationship for some time and it was becoming stressfull and internaly damaging trying to maintain a happy exterior as the worse I felt the harder I tried to appear happy. So I took some time to myself.

Buying 'the 48 laws of Power' and 'The Art Of Seduction' the former was interesting but not very helpful in my goal of self improvement. The Art of Seduction was a key book in my realisation of the truth that complete goodness is not seductive (and alot more), this helped my relax into my 'core' self. while reading The Art of Seduction I also purchased the E-Book 'The Attraction Code' which i read several times and i greatly thank for changing my outlook on women and the world and how much attraction is down to [/b]The Way A Man Thinks

I am currently reading 'The Way of The Superior Man' which gives a great insight into male and female essence, understanding your core self and true purpose and understanding women.

This takes me to the current day when I decided to write this. I am 21, I have good friends, I am working hard at university, play football on the weekends and go out and meet girls. Most importantly I am happy in myself and know where i am going next in life.

I have had a lot of realisations throughout my journey which i have left out of this little 'monologue' as I have had one in particular that i will share.

That is that I feel people can tell you their realisations and epiphanys over and over again and what you should be and how to be it but unless you understand and believe in your deepest core the concept behind it then the words will not hold true meaning. Hopefully this can people along their way.

All comments and criticisms are welcome. I was unsure whether or not to post this, partly because it was a personal journey and partly because i was not sure how it would be received, but I now believe unless a man pushes his edge and stretches out of his comfort zone he cannot grow. and if this helps you to grow all the better.

Thank you for reading.

This is such a weird coincidence.
I am on a journey myself which is finding out more about myself and just how I can improve myself. Before I started getting into all of this self-help I never truly understood the phrases such as "The only thing to fear is fear itself" or "Be your own best friend". My whole journey started with Self Confidence for dummies.

I guess the more you delve into the subject the more you start to understand these concepts. Its weird. There is nobody around me that shares the same passion for improvement or the same passion to know more about themselves.

I can even understand why you felt the need to letloose (loool) on this message board. It is nice to meet like minded individuals.

I strongly agree. And like you my friends have no real interest in the deeper philosophy of self improvement. I highly recommend reading 'The way of the Superior Man' in your spare time, I have found it very interesting!

I'm out a fair bit so will reply when I get a chance, but p.m me if you get time it would be interesting to hear what you have learnt on your journey and compare perspectives.

Sent the PM!

PMed you back but it doesn't seem to be sending so ill post here.

Hi again firstly I apologise for the time taken to reply I'm third year at university therefore making my timetable very full!

Secondly what you have mentioned about identity is very interesting because I have also recently discovered the reasons I used to be incredibly confident and charming around certain people (men and women), and slightly anxious around others (situational confidence). Its to do with the value WE give to people based on certain traits we have been unconsciously taught to recognise therefore making them high value (mainly looks for women). This is to do with 'social conditioning' what we as a society have been conditioned to react to, looks, money, status. You buy a new shirt and you feel good (valuable) a few months later your favourite store brings out a new shirt and your value is taken away by them until you purchase this new shirt. This is stupid, its not the shirt that makes you attractive its the feeling inside of you when you first put it on and that can be a constant feeling within you that you control, not that's controlled by some outside source.

Following on, when WE give a person value we internally become 'outcome dependant' which means we want to get them to like us, WE have a need for a positive outcome with this person. Consequently WE become more 'reactive' to the reactions of the individual and start seeking value from them, hence our state deteriorates if this person dose not respond positively.

The funny thing is WE allow all this to happen by personally assigning people value on very superficial things and then reacting to their reactions because we are seeking validation from THEM.
This is pure stupidity, firstly to be 'outcome dependant' is the worst thing possible, this is because then what happens throughout that interaction matters to you, and it shows! this is very unattractive and the best way to not get a positive outcome. Just shoot the shit and have fun, with maybe a final goal of getting her number or taking her home, but DONT be dependant on this happening!
Secondly to be reactive to someone is to feel an internal shift in your 'feeling good' state because of something they have said. The world is a lot bigger than you and the person who your talking to, dilate your perspective a realise it doesn't matter. This doesn't mean turn into Clint Eastwood, it means relax into your state and let the insult or comment drift through your ego like a rock through smoke.

make your own value scale, mine is based on honesty, authenticity, and a desire for adventure right now. We should be thinking 'What does this person bring to my life'.

If we know about this then we can change things (it takes time and work as the information has to be internalised to click into our reality, therefore making it a core belief of ours). Think of the fist scenario as you walk into a club with a empty glass, and you are continuously going round trying to get other people to fill up that glass, then your drinking some and feeling good and then you need another top up from someone. That's essentially what your doing when your seeking value. Now try this, you strut into to the club completely calm and happy within yourself and you glass is full, you go around dishing out water to other people to make them feel good, your having a little dance and top up the girls glass next to you. This is good, this is you giving out value to other people. You have a gift that is YOU and it is your duty to give it to the world, sometimes it will be rejected by the world for different reasons, but you should keep giving that gift regardless as it is the essence of you.

You always emit the core emotion your feeling inside so why not make that happiness. You can slouch over but as long as you are feeling good on the inside you will still be a very attractive person. The key thing to remember here is don't 'resist' you moods, don't try to force yourself to be happy, take a deep breathe and accept whatever mood you are in, while understand this is just a chemical reaction within your body and really life is FRICKING AWESOME! Accept your mood and look at it from a separate perspective (Eckhart Tolle calls this the pain body in his book 'the power of now'), take a deep breath and smile with full acceptance and no resistance.(this was a very big realisation for me, as before i was always 'trying' to be the life of the party and a fun guy, I now realise that was inherently unattractive. I am now alot more relaxed and am the life of the party when I feel like it and it come naturally but I am perfectly happy to sit back and take in my surroundings and be happy and have small talk)

I am VERY new at this stuff and all the stuff I learnt above was taken from 'The Blueprint Decoded' and is all Tyler Durdens material. Eckhart Tolle talks about the ego and pain body, and 'The Way of the Superior Man' gives you an insight into the gift you have to give the world. So I cant take credit but they really do have some awesome stuff there that can turn your life around in the long run and then meeting women becomes a easy by product of this.

I've recently been reading 'the social animal' out of personal interest of human psychology and decided I want to be a life coach, what have you been reading recently that has helped you as it will be interesting to try the same.

Hope this helps you on your journey

letloose

Haha
You really do talk about a lot of good personal growth material.
Being at Uni as well I certainly know what you must be going through in terms of a hectic schedule.

I also received both the pm's you sent me but we might as well make this chat public in case anybody else wants to chime in.

I am going to address your points on a later date since I wanted to post to let you know that I am still alive and reading.

The main thing I have begun to focus on is not becoming attached to the outcome. This is very powerful!