A quick question about natural confidence, obviously you feel confident when you feel good and you feel good when you feel confident... I've found this can lead to cycles of feeling better and better and unfortunately the opposite; when things get bad they quickly spiral down to me being in a place that takes me a while to salvage any sort of confidence.

I have come across some stuff about anchoring and meditating, anchoring positive emotion to a physical action such as pinching your index finger and thumb when you feel on top of the world (i.e. straight after a number close, after you win at a sporting challenge, deliver a joke like a boss etc). Do you guys think this works? If so, does anyone have any more techniques that improve your real, inner confidence and not just you convincing yourself you feel good? If it's a load of BS, does anyone know of anything that can really pick you out of a slump. I'm finding with each big achievement I come across, the fall when something goes wrong hits me even harder... I know this requires a huge change in attitude (which I am working on) but any other help would be great!

Onto my second point (sorry about the lengthy post)... basically I find that I am in general getting much more confident, especially in small groups or just with one person; I can connect with people well and entertain myself and them. However when I am in a group of more than 3 or 4, I am overcome with a crippling shyness... my mind goes blank and all I think about is how little I am talking. It seems obvious to just relax and then it will come much more naturally, this is a lot easier said than done. I really need something that can force me into contributing just a bit to these large group conversations to get over my anxiety about it. Obviously if I am with a group of close friends, this is never an issue... I find it most in meetings or new social groups. I KNOW I have contributions that people will respect but can not bring myself to express them. I'm finding this is holding me back socially, professionally and with PUA... any idea's appreciated .

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'Be who you are and say what you feel; because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind'

A tip of advice i can give you is stop trying to use all these tricks and methods for becoming confident, instead just go out there and do it. Go out there expose yourself push yourself past your fears, and then realize that approaching wasn't that serious after all, it's just initiating conversation. Being denied by a girl doesn't mean your not good enough, it means your approach wasn't good enough. So go back out there and just fix your mistakes, with competence comes confidence.

Don't take yourself or life so seriously, we're here for one purpose, and that's to live it.