Anger management - if you can call it that



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PostPosted: Sat Nov 26, 2011 12:52 am 
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A big problem of mine is how when something does not go according to plan I can get in such a rotten mood that it ruins my state and can not get into a positive frame of mind to approach anyone.
Just like today, trains were more than half an hour late causing me to miss some potential sarging time in town, being a not very well co-ordinated person in any case I banged my head against the window of the train (thankfully the carriage was virtually empty) but still did my self-worth no favours, the fact that I should have gone out an hour or more earlier in any case, the fact that the sun was shining today (in the autumn/winter time that really puts me in a bad mood and I absolutely hate seeing sunlight this time of year because of how much it can really block my vision and be a total c**kblocker - in the summertime it is OK, but winter sunlight is something I utterly despise), or whatever. To the point where I felt I wanted to cry and if anyone did physically get in my way I was worried I would flip.
I really hope this doesn't go too far but what is the best way to calm down in future so that things really do not get on the wrong side? I know I have a lot of repressed anger for all sorts of reasons partly, maybe largely, relating to all sorts of bad s**t from the past. But I worry I may not be able to keep a lid on it for so long and that it will really screw up every chance of even attempting an approach or worse than that, really DLV myself like never before.
Is there a good technique to really make sure that the inner "Mr. Angry" never manifests itself in any shape? Has anyone else felt similar and if so, how did they deal with it?


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 26, 2011 1:26 am 
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sometimes youve got to listen to yourself as far is sarging is concerned especially if your under pressure or stressed sarging can just compound the stress so best to take a day off and head out the next day.

Most likely you had anxiety and everything stressed you out.the best way to deal with anxiety is to let your mind drift from thought to thought not focusing on how you feel or giving yourself enough time to give a sht about anything just really practice not thinking and go out to be social not pickup is best.
If there is noone to be social with at the station then unstifle yourself on the train if its empty there is no reason not to put a phat song in your head and start dancing around a bit and enjoying the song will losen you up.
As far as banging your head on the train who cares bro under all the stress most people wouldnt even have shown up to go out unless it was part of a night out with mates so your in the top 5%.


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 26, 2011 9:59 pm 
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sometimes youve got to listen to yourself as far is sarging is concerned especially if your under pressure or stressed sarging can just compound the stress so best to take a day off and head out the next day.
So, are you trying to say - make the intention just to have a day out and any sarging is something that should only come along as and when? Thing is, I want to get to the point where pickup and daygaming and whatnots becomes second nature, so you goota practice as much as possible, right?
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Most likely you had anxiety and everything stressed you out.the best way to deal with anxiety is to let your mind drift from thought to thought not focusing on how you feel or giving yourself enough time to give a sht about anything just really practice not thinking and go out to be social not pickup is best.
I've always had anxiety problems and that is a fact I'm afraid to say. One thing goes wrong (could be with public transport or the phones or some idiot on the streets with no sense of co-ordination or common sense) and bam - I am on the verge of wanting to flip and start swearing. I would like to get into the "not giving a s***" mindset but even that is not easy.
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If there is noone to be social with at the station then unstifle yourself on the train if its empty there is no reason not to put a phat song in your head and start dancing around a bit and enjoying the song will losen you up.
Er, you do realise there is CCTV at train stations and some people watching over it may think "hold on, there's a bit of a loony here" and maybe keep a close watch.
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As far as banging your head on the train who cares bro under all the stress most people wouldnt even have shown up to go out unless it was part of a night out with mates so your in the top 5%.
I am sorry but this bit does not make any sense at all and I do not understand what you are trying to say.


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 27, 2011 2:49 am 
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1st When i first learnt pickup there were times that i would have been better off staying home and not going out tired shitty after 12hours of work or when ive got a huge ass power bill or whatever and that would just ruin my second day instead of saving my energy for one good sarge on the more popular day id end up with a few tired low energy more costs sarges that would just reinforce my AA.Go out to be just social is best if your going out under a bit of AA ive found.

2nd with becoming a not give a sht guy a good question to ask yourself is in this situation am i more interested in being right or more interested in learning? this should help highlight any areas the ego is trying to regulate things but which are not helpful 'shes got a boyfriend' 'it cant be done' 'theres only guys here''i already know it'.
Also for anxiety youll have to learn to let your minds thoughts just drift from thought to thought not focusing on anything at all this will just illiminate the unnessecary thinking.Not giv a fck is also about having fun or making it fun not being too serious or needy.

3rd It takes a bit of practice but its about loosing yourself or un-stifled is a pua term, actors do the same sorts of exersizes perhaps haveing to impersonate a monkey infront of the group. just put an ipod in and just zone out injoy the music slightly bop your head people will think your just enjoying your own reality not give a fck.Hypnotica used to have the extreme wear a dildo AA destroyer so this has got to be easier.

4th from all the puas ive met whove read the game very few go and do solo daygame ofcourse they will sarge with mates or drunk so youll be a good pu if you can keep at it.


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 27, 2011 10:27 am 
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So then solo daygame is not such a common thing?

I was getting under the impression that daygame is where a wing is not quite as necessary compared with nightgame.

Are you also trying to say that it would be a better idea to save up all your energy for one big day-sarge - but treat it more as a mission to be sociable and not "Pick-up"?


Last edited by salad_fingers on Sun Nov 27, 2011 1:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 27, 2011 10:51 am 
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Hey salad-fingers, from what you've said, it seems like you need to find things that chill you out whether it may be listening to music or maybe just reading.

You sound a lot like who I was a couple of years ago. People who demonstrate their feelings do it because they CARE about something and they link their emotions to everything. This is not a bad thing, in fact it is an important part of pick up, to be able to FEEL and SENSE emotions. That is the basis of what rapport is built on.. I found that that I was able to train my emotions to give off positive energy. For example you mentioned the train being an hour late. The next time your train is late or whatever, tell yourself this is happening for a reason.. That if the train WASN'T an hour late you would never have met the HB that you number closed later that day. Everything happens for a reason. Whenever your in a position which makes you frustrated, instead of just ignoring it, channel your positive emotions into knowing the benefits that will come out of it. Just laugh your way through it, after all, laughter is the best medicine.

Good Luck

Ben

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 27, 2011 1:02 pm 
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That if the train WASN'T an hour late you would never have met the HB that you number closed later that day.
Very contradictory wishful thinking there! :D


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 27, 2011 1:10 pm 
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Always think positively. You could meet your future wife somewhere in town, but you would only have met her because the train was late. Enjoy life salad, and make the most of it man!

Ben

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"Our fears always outnumber our dangers"


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 02, 2011 6:35 pm 
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Is this a fair bit of advice - only go out and sarge if you are 100% relaxed and in the mood?

But what if I approach a random attractive girl on the street and she tells me to go away and I really creep her out? Or do you think that if you are relaxed and in a positive mood, she is more likely to react positively to it?

What I would like to know is - what if I start the day in a good mood and then some accident threatens to destroy my vibe and "relaxed" state?


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 02, 2011 8:45 pm 
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Take a chill pill......xanax lol. Just clamn down bro. There are some days where i just want to head but someone. But you have to look at yourself and relize where you mind is at. When you feel all stressed out ask yourself why and try to laugh it off. You might have to dig deep to get to that point where you can look outside in, instead of inside out seeing RED. Control your mind and feelings. Dont act like your 5 years old throwing a temper-tantrum.... REMEMBER your wanting to attract girls, not turn into the fucking hulk and run them off. Work on" I dont give a fuck attitude" esp when you have a girl that tries to NEG you.


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 02, 2011 8:54 pm 
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But what is a good way of developing an "I don't give a f***" attitude?

And how does a socially awkward person like myself get to tell whether or not a girl is trying to neg me?


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 02, 2011 11:37 pm 
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Quote:
But what is a good way of developing an "I don't give a f***" attitude?

And how does a socially awkward person like myself get to tell whether or not a girl is trying to neg me?

Your going to have to let all these small things that you are upset about roll off your back. It will take some time to learn, but your going to have to make yourself do it. You have to understand that these little things you get mad about are below you getting angry over. You have to know that your much higher than letting these things overcome you, because you are stronger than it. Once you really realize that you are mentaly stronger than the situation it will be easy to let it go. It is too much energy wasted in being angry over nothing. When you can take that energy and put it into something positive.

Another thing that might help you is that "everything happens for a reason"... like you missing the train. You can control everything, the train, weather... whatever else is going on. Like Benny said, you could had meet whoever on that train you were not supposed to be one. You didnt, but there might had been another reason, but you were too angry at that point and didnt have you eyes OPEN. Just chill out, ride the wave.


I dont understand what you mean about the neg thing. Are you asking how a girl negs you? Or how to overcome it? Or what? And when you say that you are socially awkward, do you get nervous, do you feel angry all the time or...?


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 03, 2011 9:15 am 
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Quote:
Quote:
But what is a good way of developing an "I don't give a f***" attitude?

And how does a socially awkward person like myself get to tell whether or not a girl is trying to neg me?

Your going to have to let all these small things that you are upset about roll off your back. It will take some time to learn, but your going to have to make yourself do it. You have to understand that these little things you get mad about are below you getting angry over. You have to know that your much higher than letting these things overcome you, because you are stronger than it. Once you really realize that you are mentaly stronger than the situation it will be easy to let it go. It is too much energy wasted in being angry over nothing. When you can take that energy and put it into something positive.

Another thing that might help you is that "everything happens for a reason"... like you missing the train. You can control everything, the train, weather... whatever else is going on. Like Benny said, you could had meet whoever on that train you were not supposed to be one. You didnt, but there might had been another reason, but you were too angry at that point and didnt have you eyes OPEN. Just chill out, ride the wave.


I dont understand what you mean about the neg thing. Are you asking how a girl negs you? Or how to overcome it? Or what? And when you say that you are socially awkward, do you get nervous, do you feel angry all the time or...?
Love said what i would have said about wasting your energy on anger. You turn into what you devote all your energy towards, don't devote your energy towards anger, then your energy will come across that way to everyone in your interactions.


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 04, 2011 12:07 am 
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Another thing that might help you is that "everything happens for a reason"... like you missing the train. You can control everything, the train, weather... whatever else is going on. Like Benny said, you could had meet whoever on that train you were not supposed to be one. You didnt, but there might had been another reason, but you were too angry at that point and didnt have you eyes OPEN. Just chill out, ride the wave.


I dont understand what you mean about the neg thing. Are you asking how a girl negs you? Or how to overcome it? Or what? And when you say that you are socially awkward, do you get nervous, do you feel angry all the time or...?

The neg thing was me asking what your quote here "Work on" I dont give a fuck attitude" esp when you have a girl that tries to NEG you" was trying to imply and asking how I would know for sure I am getting a neg.

I wish I could control the weather or the train especially how much I bloody hate the sunlight especially at this time of year, I wish it would stay away for good or at least until the spring or summer, the only times of year it is supposed to be up.

Why would a train delay boil my blood? Simple, time lost on getting into town to do some potential day game and the like as early as possible.


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 04, 2011 4:26 pm 
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If you get mad over missing a train, what do you do when a girl is trying to bust your balls. I guess if you dont pick up on her neging you thats better anyway because you already accidently have a dont care attitude. Like i said in my other post you need to chill the hell out. Youll never pick up girls being mad at the world. Calmn down take a breath. Think about why you went out in the first place, to attract girls. Im sure you dont want to leave the house just to be mad the whole day. Its all a mindset and you do have control over it. Just takes work like anything else. I had a time in my life where i had a really short fuse, and would get angry at dumb shit. I just learned that the things i was mad about really didnt matter. Your going to have to change your mindset. Start off with small things that make you angry and learn how to defuse it. Once you understand how to defuse on the small things it will give you a better perspective on the bigger issues.

You need to find an exit. Find something to take all your aggression out on. Like going to the gym, playing a sport, boxing or something! Bottle your aggression up that you have and use it for something like that. Hell get into MMA, and kick someones ass. Find something to get all that out with. I take all my daily stress and go to the gym and get it all out.. Helps a ton. And if your already doing one of those, then your maybe not tranning hard enought or you need to take an anger management class.


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