| For a while now I've been wondering, could there be a more efficient method to all this gaming stuff? I'm in no position to make an assessment, and many so called game guru's are saying all of game comes down to one thing -- inner game. All those techniques, all those lines, everything is just a way of developing inner game. That's the goal of outer game, I've been told: to develop your inner game so that all these techniques flow naturally from you and so that game, rather than being something you do, becomes something you are. In other words, you learn game to change your personality. We do this via countless hours of practice, via approach, after approach, after approach. We know the theory, "I wasn't dominant enough," "I don't take charge enough," "I'm not confident enough," we know what we want to be, and we don't know how to get there. Instead, we just plow and plow and plow and plow and plow and eventually we hope we'll change enough that this new behaviour we're practicing becomes us. And it works. And it's slow.
For a while now I've been wondering, could there be a more efficient method to all this gaming stuff? First we'd have to understand why we do all this. When I started, I didn't approach to approach, I approached to learn. To learn a new behaviour. To learn a new set of skills. To learn a new personality. Understanding that, I decided to learn what exactly a personality composed of so that I know how I can change my personality to better suit my needs. I've decided to share some of my notes so far, with the hopes that those more experienced can share a shred of wisdom, and those less experienced my learn something, so tomorrow they can teach me something new. For now, I'm not going to talk about how we can change a personality, simply what it's composed of.
Our personality, or our behaviours, are determined by three different things which all interact with one another.
INTERNAL REPRESENTATION STATE PHYSIOLOGY
Internal Representation is how you perceive the world.
State is how your mood, how you feel.
Physiology is how you stand, your body language, your voice tones; your nonverbals.
Innternal representation affects and is affected by state affects and is affected by physiology.
If you change any one of these three, the other two change also. When this change occurs, your behaviour changes. Case in point, you feel like complete shit and someone tells you you have a nice haircut. You think they're mocking you and hate them for it, therefore you give them a rude reply. As opposed to, you feel amazing and someone tells you you have a nice haircut, you think they're attracted to you so you chat with them for a bit and find a new friend.
I suspect you already know about state and physiology; how much do you know about internal representation?
INTERNAL REPRESENTATION is composed of the following:
Meta-programs
Beliefs
Values
Decisions
Memories
There's a shit load of information in front of us always. So much in fact that we'd go crazy if we remembered it all. Via META-PROGRAMS, which are content free, we determine what parts of reality we remember. Meta-programs do this via deleting, generalizing and distorting our memories. For example of a meta-program, here's one that I had before I knew what a meta-program was: while doing daygame, my mind filtered out all the men. If a guy walked past me, I wouldn't notice his existence. You're probably the same. The same applied for old women or girls that are too young -- I simply did not notice them. They were being filtered out by the meta-programs I was running. That's beneficial, you'll want to say, and you'd be correct. That said, later this got in my way. I gamed oriental girls exclusively for two months, so my meta-programs began to filter out European girls, and when I said to myself, "Hey, I want to game a Russian bird," my meta-programs didn't catch up to my conscious desires and I simply would not notice a stunning, perfect for me European girl even if our arms brushed while walking. As you can see, meta-programs are developed to help us in life, but while the situation we find ourselves can change instantly, our meta-programs often do not. Therefore, we can end up with meta programs which are no longer useful, or that even detract from our goals.
One more important note about meta-programs is that they are content free. There is no memory attached to it. There is no thought. No feeling. It is simply a program. It simply does as it is programmed to do, filtering what parts of reality you notice and what parts you ignore.
VALUES are how we decide whether something is good or bad or whatever we feel about it. They are hierarchical, with some things having higher value than others. Values are what people move toward or away from. They provide the basis of our motivation. Unlike meta-programs, values have content attached to them and will change depending on the context. What you want in an LTR may not be what you want in an SNL.
Limiting BELIEFS are a big deal in conventional inner game work. Beliefs are convictions that certain things are true or untrue. A limiting belief is a belief which does not serve us. A belief could be, "beautiful women only date men with money," or "beautiful women only date handsome men." Obviously, if you wanted to be really successful with women you'd have to change these beliefs because you will act as if they are true, whether or not they actually are and, if you assume a girl is not attracted to you, then she won't be.
MEMORIES are the collection of past experiences which you recall. It's important to note that what is stored in your memory is what has already been filtered through your meta-programs. In other words, if I wanted to remember something about a day of gaming, I may not be able to remember the men I passed or the old women because I wasn't aware of them in the first place while I may remember the exact words I said to HB7. That is also why our memories about the same event often conflicts with that of others that were also present -- we ran the events through different meta-programs, and therefore we remember different things ( and remember, it's not just that memories can be deleted, but also DISTORTED or GENERALIZED ). Also important to note is that often (not always) memories are gestalts, that is a collection of memories, rather than a single experience. Case in point, have you ever tried to think about someone and, though you can't remember specifics details, you may remember they way they look, or a certain feeling, a certain sound, or perhaps something seemed wrong -- you can hear her playing the violin and you see her holding your hands; you know them both to be true. What you're accessing in these cases are gestalts -- the results of two or more memories being combined into one. That's why the details don't make perfect sense, they didn't match up in the different memories so either they were left out entirely, or one was recorded while others were deleted, or whatever.
What all this comes down to is simple. Our memories are not real. More to the point, our memories aren't even accurate. Why then are we so adamant about the truth we claim hold?
DECISIONS are decisions we made in the past about something. These are related to memories. Decisions, although they are made in a single instance, can affect our entire lives. Based on a single event ( or a gestalt), you may have decided all women were not attracted to you, and therefore you acted in accordance with that even when you developed an attractive personality. The problem with decisions is they are often made at a very young age or unconsciously and are not reevaluated as the situation changes. It's important to remember that THE PAST DOES NOT EQUAL THE FUTURE. Despite this, we often act as if what was true in the past will always be true.
Therefore, you can begin to understand how our reality is formed. External events are filtered through meta-programs, values, beliefs, memories and decisions to determine our internal representation of the event, that is, our perception of the event. WHAT WE PERCEIVE IS NOT REALITY, it's simply perception. Our internal representation affects our state, which then affects our physiology, and these three combined affect our behaviour, or personality.
In other words, our entire personality is based on our perception of reality. Or, reworded, our entire personalities are based on a lie. Curious.
For information on how we can change the different aspects of our internal representation, look out for future posts by yours truly.
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The future exists first in the mind, then in the will, then in reality.
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