my own journey from a lower self-esteem to being THE MAN



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 Post subject: new goal. new focus
PostPosted: Sat Oct 01, 2011 9:43 pm 
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Ok, I feel I have a new focus from now on.

Ive learnt alot from studying inner game, most of all who I am (as in my core values) and how to change beliefs about yourself and your emotional state.

Now im after one thing, and one thing only. Confidence.
As ive said before, confidence is an emotion not a behaviour, however I think it is something deeper than that, an attitude maybe? im not sure yet, I like what TD says about it being "state" which you get from feeling like the highest value person there, so giving yourself permission to act however you like.

Whatever it is, im going to find it, and incorporate it into every part of my life. Im going to start by changing my affirmations/visualizations and self hypnosis to that of just a super confident person. The great thing about knowing your core values is that you no longer have to worry about being "fake" as long as what you want is helping with your values, your money.

Mystery im sure has said about having your own identity, i want mine to be of CONFIDENCE!

update soon

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I refuse to let fear be a problem

Id rather die on my feet than live on my knees


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 Post subject: ego
PostPosted: Wed Oct 05, 2011 10:21 pm 
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I dont know if this is a turning point or a lull, or both. But either way, im starting to realize a pattern. I can get myself feeling good, thinking well, acting well. But it never seems to lasts. Its wierd, i can usually act confident and fun, but usually im not 100% feeling it.

Can you ever have a normal state of confidence/happyness/state, or is it just an illusion, can you only learn to act as if you are?

I think ive realized why im inconsistent with this, i rely on others and base too much of my self-esteem on other people. Even though I didnt think I used to, I do it so much more than i thought.

last summer when i properly got into this, it was the same deal, except i had more momentum, i could go longer without validation before i needed more, maybe because i felt what i had got was so much. only when i went to college have i realized just how much i rely on others reactions.

the question is, is this just human nature and cant be changed? the only thing is too adapt to it and try and get consistently good reactions (outer game) in order to get inner game?

Or is there some way to develop self-confidence, and to keep it, even when others put you down?

im sure ive asked this and been at this point before. its so fustratiing. maybe this is too much for a 17 year old to take on

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I refuse to let fear be a problem

Id rather die on my feet than live on my knees


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2011 12:34 pm 
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Ok, as you can see from my last post, i think im going to deep into this. From now on, im gunna do my affirmations sure, but im gunna focus on results, on what im doing, not my mindset etc. Im having a break from inner game and just focusing on everything im doing in life. Instead of obsessing over this, im just gunna get out there, chat up as many girls as possible, and work towards everything i want. then in a few months, im gunna look back in terms of inner game.

Ive been being a bit of a wimp, stressing over having the "right mindset" and not just getting on and going for what i want. I mean, who cares if i feel abit nervous in certain situations or whatever, stressing over it isnt gunna change anything.

action. action. action. starting today

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I refuse to let fear be a problem

Id rather die on my feet than live on my knees


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 Post subject: good mindset
PostPosted: Sat Oct 08, 2011 2:48 pm 
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Ok, heres a good way of being, IMO.

We all need something we take seriously in life, there are some things we all take seriously, family for example.

However, its best not to take women, pu and social interaction in general too seriously. After all, whilst we can influence to an extent, and present ourselves in a certain way, the bottom line is, we cant control what people think of us. Its good to practise and try to get good at this stuff, we all need to get laid lol, and not only that its fun! however, its good not to take it too seriously, its just abit of fun, it doesnt matter.

Its good to balance this with taking other hobbies seriously, boxing/gym/swimming/ or whatever else, that way you will still be seen as a serious person, but as far as social interaction, the best way to think IMO is it really does not matter

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I refuse to let fear be a problem

Id rather die on my feet than live on my knees


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 Post subject: taking action
PostPosted: Tue Oct 11, 2011 5:29 pm 
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ive realized today how much ive been dragged down by worrying about my "inner game" when the truth is, i was just trying to control my emotional state too much, always feel ridiculously confident despite what was happening.

its good to believe what you want to believe, know how you want to act and be as happy and assured as you want to be, but we are all human and at times wont feel emotionally like a god.

so ive realized, action is the key thing. I must take action and approach as many girls as possible, or generally just try to chat up as many hot girls as possible

i make it sound like sucha chore! haha, anyway, yeah, just wanted to get that down. main focus now is on ways to chat up girls, rather than attain "super attractive unbelievably strong inner game of super inflated confidence at any given time".


that is all.

_________________
I refuse to let fear be a problem

Id rather die on my feet than live on my knees


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 Post subject: listen up
PostPosted: Wed Oct 26, 2011 7:58 pm 
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just did a cool little exercise.
Now that I realize im not broken, im a perfectly normal great guy, I want to take my attention away from how to "fix" myself, to how to make the most outa life and really embrace it. to do this ive come up with three main goals, how i would act if i had achieved them, and something i can do every day to achieve these

first things first, women: I want to be dating 3 beautiful women, without having to hide the fact that im seeing other women. just seeing, shagging and having fun with 3 different women. I want to go out and make deep connections and become friends with women and all people, regardless of our situation, or where we are. I want to have threesomes! I want to have an abundance of women in my life.
How would I act if i had this: Extremely confident! I would not care about what any girl said to me, or reacted to me, I would tease the hell outa them and have fun with them. I would also go for a girl if i wanted her, unashamedly, yet not feel bad at all if she rejected me. I would approach a girl directly and for fun when i thought she was hot, i dont have time to waste, if i think a girls hot, hey howa you im sam, if shes not into it, ok bye.
Unless I knew the best way to get her was too be indirect. I would use pua techniques FOR FUN. running a story, doing a push pull, teasing etc, this would be a fun “yes lets add another hot girl to my collection” rather than “i must do this or lose the girl!”
Daily way of achieving: Just approach and try to chat up as many hot girls as possible really. Have my openers and other things ready in my head, and mainly be in a good attitude and frame of mind before i go out

Secondly, my boxing: Ok, I have more money now so more of a chance to branch out. may start going to kickboxing place aswell, more sparring is always good. Keep fit, keep doing my runs and weekend exercises. Go to the gym for muscle. Wanna be able to knock people out, that is my aim. I ve never really had an aim, just to “do well”. well now, my aim is to win my next fight by knockout, or to at least knock my opponent down.
How would I act if I had this: Firstly, I would be alot more confident in confrontations. I would enjoy boxing alot more.
daily way of achieving: train everyday and visualize me knocking out opponent everyday

Thirdly, screenwriting: This is a biggie, as success here means success financially which means a number of things. I want to sell a screenplay that becomes a motion picture, I want my movies to change peoples lives, to really effect them emotionally and cognotivelly.
How would I act if I had this: I would write everyday, wanting to produce better and unique movies.
Daily way of achieving this: write abit of my screenplay everyday, do at least a little bit of screenplay work

so this means, daily i will be 1) approaching hot girls and chatting up hot girls wherever possible
2) training at least once and visualizing knocking my opponent out
3) screenwriting a little each day

Aswell as these, i need to remember to keep up with college work and get my A's, aswell as do my visualizations.

Get busy livin or get busy dyin, yeah buddy

_________________
I refuse to let fear be a problem

Id rather die on my feet than live on my knees


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 Post subject: Reinventing myself
PostPosted: Mon Nov 14, 2011 11:35 pm 
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Ok, ive decided I want to reinvent myself. First and importantly, im not doing this because I feel I need to change, I know that im a perfectly cool guy, but fuck it, it'll be fun to do and im sure having a more solid identity will be cool.

Ok, so I need to change 4 main parts of me when reinventing myself

1) my beliefs/perspectives
2) my attitudes
3)my actions/reactions
4) the way I dress/body language

First of all I need to decide exactly what I want to reinvent into. This may not be so much changing parts of me as expressing certain parts of me more onto the world. For example, Im a big believer in it being important to be a man, meaning being tough and strong, both physically and emotionally, aswell as being able to deal with confrontation. However, I feel I dont express this in my identity as much as I should, its a part of my lifestyle (boxing) but perhaps not a strong enough attitude/consistent action, and could be conveyed to the world more.

anyway my plan for me reinventing myself will be next post

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I refuse to let fear be a problem

Id rather die on my feet than live on my knees


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