Ok, so today woke up too late for college, so basically just had all day to myself, and been thinking alot.

Ive definatly noticed how much more confident ive become lately, and how much more social because of this, in a variety of different places. (boxing gym, college, random people)

I definatly feel like ive "unlocked" the confident person in me, but how much more is there to come out?
Not only this but I now see the emotion fear, as a positive thing. I was meeting a girl today, and i started to get a little nervous and whatnot, like usual, and then, i realised that this would mean i would be growing as a person today, and i became fucking elated. I want to feel this fear.

and its pondering all this, that i think, shit man, how far could this go? how far could i improve myself, its all there inside of me, just waiting to come out. If your reading this thinking, what in gods name am I talking about, then let me put it this way, imagine the most powerful you, like imagine yourself with a superpower where you had superhuman powers and could also make people do anything, how would you hold yourself, how would you act, how would you speak, because these behaviours are all in you, just waiting to come out.

and i dont just ask this about my own self development and inner game, but also my interaction and lifestyle improvement, just how far could i go with these? could i be walking into a different strip club every night and leaving with the hottest stripper there, could I create and build my own social circle, work and play enviroment, could i really carve my life to what i want it to be.

its a fucking powerful question man. even thinking of it now, part of me is like YES YES lets fucking do it man, but the other part of me see's the rocky and just off the beaten track path that would take me on, and thinks, ahh scary.

Its a big question, just how far can I take this? Can i take myself?

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I refuse to let fear be a problem

Id rather die on my feet than live on my knees

So, time to see how far this can go.

first of all, ive got to define where it is i want to go, what behaviour/attitudes i want to unlock in myself.

This will sound stupid, but i first got inspiration to take this steps further after seeing "eric" in this, the guy sitting on his "throne" in the clubhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zd-KJeOt9GU

Ok, after a long sleepless night after some tricky gaming, I think ive finally decided the base philosophy/understanding i want to have, of which the rest of my inner game will develop from. since wondering how far to take this self-improvement, after really realising it works, there has been a hesitancy, or even a real fear telling me "dont step up and becoming extremely high value, your surviving now, doing so risks that". its something i got from blueprint, our mind will keep any behaviours that dont risk our own well being, so ofcourse my mind is gunna be against me becoming super confident, self assured and high value, as this will make me stand out, risking the pattern of survival im in at the moment

but i say fuck that shit, "Id rather die on my feet, than live on my knees" I used to think that quote just refered to fighting, but now I see it means life itself. Id rather become the best person I can be and die that way, than stay to scared to grow and improve and just survive.

update soon

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I refuse to let fear be a problem

Id rather die on my feet than live on my knees

Ok, now ive got that out the way, i feel much more ready to take this to the next level.

From now on, whenever i feel out of my depth or as if im slipping into any low value behaviour, im just gunna command my mind "id rather die on my feet than live on my knees" get it to face the fear and act how I want to act.

So now, Its just a matter of choosing beliefs/understandings and behaviours that I want, which will suit me best in the real world.

Obviously im going to use the same method ive been using before (meditation/presentness, beliefs/understandings, confident "head talk", push through fear and act how you want to)

I think first, im going to go through each belief/understanding ive come up with now, and make it even more empowering. For example, instead of just 'girls love sex', have 'girls love sex with me, and they should cos i can make them feel amazing'

update soon after ive done this

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I refuse to let fear be a problem

Id rather die on my feet than live on my knees

Ok, so after thinking about it, i think these beliefs/understandings pretty much cover it for now, except for just one more.

-people are just that, people. there are not out to hurt you and are almost definitly living in more fear than you are, so dont worry what they think, theyre only people! theyre judgements dont mean anything

I also have realized that this self-improvement thing is a lifestyle. Ive got to be commited to this. Which i am willing to be.

So from now on, after my run and exercise, i will take 20 mins out just to go over the beliefs/understandings, and to visualize the me that knows that they are true.

also, i think im gunna start watching clips of "alphas" or whatever in the media like films etc, just to look out for any beliefs it looks like they may have. For example one i noticed through doing this is, as mystery says, the belief that "nothing is a big deal" aside from your or your families life being indangered ofcourse.

update soon!

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I refuse to let fear be a problem

Id rather die on my feet than live on my knees

just felt the need to post here something about having a "relapse" i.e when you revert back to AFC behaviour and beliefs.

Now, the last day or so has made me realise how easily this can happen. I think the longer i reinforce my reality the harder it will be for it to happen, but either way, I just want to have a plan for how to get back on track just incase it happens again.

I have analyzed the cause, which I see to be simply stressors in the enviroment, combined with not sticking to the gameplan and negative self talk, in a vicious circle.

Now i have no control over stressors in my enviroment, or at least limited control, sometimes shit just happens, people reveal who they actually are, or w.e

But the gameplan and my own mind, I do have control over.

So, from now on whenever I feel either a relapse coming, or having already happened, I will: make sure I do the things I would normally do.

for example, keeping up with boxing training, affirmations and approaching when I need to.

In terms of my mind, the next time i feel these things happening, I will make sure the voice in my head is confident and alpha, then go out and prove my beliefs to be true in the real world.

This morning, i was feeling "out of state" and generally pretty shitty due to things outside of my control, but I did my affirmations and went out anyway, and now I feel much better, even thankful, as now I know how to deal with these things in the future

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I refuse to let fear be a problem

Id rather die on my feet than live on my knees

ahhh, this is going to be a rant post. Im so glad this forum exists sometimes, not only due to all the support and great info on it, but for somewhere to put down your thoughts and decipher them.

Today has been a bad day for 2 reasons.

reason number 1: I went out to go find some lovely female companionship. I only saw 2 sets. The first was way infront, so despite my fast walking, got away. The second were 3 nice looking girls, and there very rough and angry looking mother, I intended on approaching right up to the last second when I thought "shit that is one angry mother, if it goes well its all good, if not she might actually beat me" so I walked on, regretablly.

reason number 2: one of my "friends" who I had a small argument with the other day decided that she would have a gathering today, and not invite me. cheers.

But, from every bad day comes good. Im glad this has happened today and not in 3 weeks time. Ive come to realise 2 things, 1. my current plan for getting good at pickup aint working enough

2. I cannot rely on my social circle to have fun.

how does this link in with inner game? well today I also realised what a hold back inner game can be. It can be a great thing which literally will change your life as you see the world with a better view, but at the same time, this has been my strategy.

"do various belief exercises and hope that next time i go out it will magically cause me to do great and be fearless" only recently have I realised this is true.

So for now, I think I have as good inner game as I can get from sitting on my arse, I have a good list of beliefs to enforce and good ways of getting into state, my main objective now is just to go out and approach a ridiculous amount of sets until im "the fucking man"

Im deciding that fuck it, lifes an adventure. Its not always going to feel good going up to a girl, its going to be a little embarrasing and full of fear, especially in daytime, but fuck it thats part of the adventure.

I think maybe using inner game to get girls and play the game in a comfortable manner like your playing a video game, is unachievable and just as lazy as sitting indoors with your proccessed food living a mundane life because you dont want to risk your comfort

_________________
I refuse to let fear be a problem

Id rather die on my feet than live on my knees

Ive decided im going to field test this inner game stuff. so today did no inner game exercises before i went out.

Ok, just been out to local town, saw 3-4 sets in all. although i tried to be as confident as possible, i definitely was less so after not doing any inner game stuff.

the first set I approached was in a park, they turned out to be too young anyway, but I definitely think its one of my worst approaches ever lol. I had nervous body language, bad speech and although i smiled after the initial opener I just said cheers anyway (didnt even make sense) and walked off. After this i went to the mall, and saw 2 or 3 good sets, but was way too insecure and feeling out of state to approach, so i called it a day. even walking home i felt bad and could tell my BL reflected it.

So, thats the control. At the moment, when i go out I feel awkard, insecure, and if i do approach, its jumbled and pretty dam crap. so now is the list of "inner game" techniques:

-fake it till you make it
-anchoring
-belief changing by;
submodalities
affirmations
journaling
-"feel the fear and do it anyway" (doing what you fear until you dont fear it anymore and have more self confidence)
-meditation
-getting in "state" / being in present moment
-changing voice talk in head
-building your own strong "reality" by;
having strong sense of who I am
having strong set of values
having strong set of personal boundaries
having strong expectations of how others act around me


if i think of more ill edit it in. So first is first, and thats fake it till you make it.

what is fake it till you make it? Well, I define it as this, visualizing how it is I want to become, and basically acting as though I am that person regardless of where I am internally.

update tomorow after ive field tested this

_________________
I refuse to let fear be a problem

Id rather die on my feet than live on my knees

ok, today went out and tried fake it till you make it.. aka acting as if you were a certain person

It went pretty dam well, acting like a confident fun social guy really made me feel that way, and soon had me thinking the same, i found it alot easier to approach as I was just under my own frame of "im just a fun social guy being just that"

had least amount of AA to set i approached today and went really well, got into normal convo with them, felt good.

only weakness was that it was easy to lose this, if focusing on something else for a while i'd feel like i'd slipped 'out of character' i guess. but overall very good will definitely do this few mins before i go out

tomorow will field test anchoring and changing beliefs!

_________________
I refuse to let fear be a problem

Id rather die on my feet than live on my knees

Right, here are my limiting beliefs aswell as my way of getting rid of them.

1. People will think im wierd if I approach girls in public during the day

2. People are hostile in general opposed to people are really friendly and just waiting for you to befriend them (great belief to have)

3. People think im wierd for talking to them if i dont know them

these are the three major ones, and If i think of any others Ill edit and post them.

Ok, so on to how ill get rid of them. the main way is obviously just to think about it, find reference points of where the preferred belief has been true and take it on at a deep level. also, an NLP technique known as "changing beliefs by submodalities" whether it works is debatable but why not give it a shot.

Im going out tonight with the aim of approaching everybody, so i will be able to say whether "limiting beliefs" has any real effect or not.

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I refuse to let fear be a problem

Id rather die on my feet than live on my knees

Hi BoxerSpirit,

First of all, let me thank you for the inspiration. I'm in a similar journey too 45-vt81510.html?postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=663 and I've been looking for someone like you for a while. We seem to have almost the same inner game-related goal

You've been noticing some really interesting elements about your inner game. Actually, I've thought again and again about some of them. Here are some similarities with my analysis:

- Cycles: That's something I tried to fight. I could be a winner for one week but then enter a negative cycle for one month. I thought about that again and again, I went pretty deep actually, but I realize the solution is not thinking but doing. I love to think, but in this situation the thinking was always "why am I like this?" or "I should do that but I'm not"... It actually fuel the vicious circles you also noticed.

- Vicious Circle: Yes, it's a vicious circle... and it's pretty hard to break because of the negative thinking.

- Negative Thinking: This one is still an issue for me, but I've made tremendous improvements. As you noticed, once the machine is launched... everything begins to fail. I quickly understood that the key to inner game was to stop this negative thinking... But I was wrong. As Kasabi said, wanting to stop that makes you feel guilty about who you are... It's actually a form of negative thinking: "stop thinking about that damn brain!". I think the key is acceptation. It's normal to have negative thinking. The idea here is to be able to step back and observe this thinking: "the voices in my head are afraid... funny!". We are not the voices in our heads. I'm trying to stop fighting them... I just "let them go"

- Sticking to the plan: Yes! Without plan, I have no direction. If I have a plan but don't stick to it... well I'm back in the vicious cycle and negative thinking. That's why the most important part of a plan is to define precisely your goal and plan reasonable actions to achieve your goals. I have still some problems with the "practical" goals but I'm getting better currently. What helped? An Excel file with 3 parts: What? (the goal), How? (the different actions to achieve my goal by order), When? (deadline?). This way, I avoid laziness and my tendency to "forget" to stick to the plan. I can't wait to apply this to approaching girls actually. :p

Anyways, here are the few things I have "discovered" in my journey (which started in December). Today, I can proudly tell that I'm more confident and social than ever, even though I've been facing new challenges lately. I'm keeping on.

I have some questions though:
1) What do you mean by anchoring? What do you do exactly?
2) Similarly, what's "changing beliefs by submodalities"?
3) We both spoke a lot about what is making us insecure (false beliefs...) but what's making us confident? Building momentum? I mean, nowadays I'm way less insecure but is it enough? Being less insecure is not being confident. I can go out, have a nice day letting go the negative voices in my head... have nice interactions with chicks... but that's not necessarily being confident. What would make us social confident gods?

Maybe we could share some insights on this and learn from each other

Daniel..

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On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

hey AFC daniel no let me thank you, your journal was part of the reason i started one myself!

yes its true, one week i think to myself, wow, ive got it, i really understand this whole inner game stuff, then the next week, its like no matter how hard I try i cant get back to that place.

thats definitely something ill try, just accepting im going to have some negative thoughts from time to time and not giving them any meaning.

yeah a plan is definitely needed, ive found this whole game thing when taken seriously is like a lifestyle, a big chunk of time is dedicated to getting out and approaching!

anchoring is the technique of being able to "summon" a positive emotion by linking it with a certain physical gesture. I wont try to explain haha instead see this [url]http://www.ehow.com/how_2275392_anchor- ... otion.html

as for belief changing by submodalities, this is a technique where by you "see" the belief in your head, notice how big, colourful, and which other qualities it has, and then change them so the belief "image" has no value. its a rather confusing NLP technique, of which im now trying to avoid as its all too easy to avoid actually pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone, blaming the techniques for not working.

thats a really good question, maybe i am focusing on so called limiting beliefs to much, and instead should focus on building beliefs that will give me confidence. I guess one such is about safety, on some level i think our brains are reluctant to let us be this confident, as of course this would bring about attention and thus lead to us having to deal with more, such as confrontation perhaps? im not sure, but i will definately try this before i next go out

peace!

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I refuse to let fear be a problem

Id rather die on my feet than live on my knees

ok just a little summary of what ive learnt in past few weeks with regards to inner game.

I feel like i reached a high peak of inner game, then slumped, and now have reached high again, just not as high as before.

main things ive learnt:

- Before I go out, always take some time out for inner game. not doing so only leads to being out of state

- I am not "broken" in anyway, i do not need fixing. So far ive found inner game just to be the struggle to unlock the best behaviours, i.e confidence etc, aswell as finding the best attitudes to assist this.

- It is not a constant. One second ill have great attitudes and be on top of the world, next minute im in the dump, anyone got any questions as to how to make this more consistent?

aims for this week:

this week I wish to look further into limiting beliefs and empowering beliefs and how they affect me

update soon

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I refuse to let fear be a problem

Id rather die on my feet than live on my knees

Hey Boxer,

I can relate to many things again here. Let me share some thoughts with you again.
I had the same realization. I tried 2 things:
- Reading material before going out: I would recommend practical stuff (60yoc?). It worked pretty well since it gives you the right mindset. Some would say it brings confusion... was not my case.
- Warming up allowed me to be better at social interactions. I used to go out before the party to speak to people: asking direction, small talk... the idea is to get a good vibe by having nice social interactions.
These two things really helped me getting in a good vibe for social events. Try them, maybe they'll work for you too.
This makes me smile. I've been asking this question to myself for years. I mean it. What's being consistent? For me, being consistent is showing your best skills when a given situation/opportunity appears. How to be more consistent? Well it depends on the situation and the experience we have from it. I'm pretty consistent about journaling because I've got experience in it. I'm consistent when it comes to speak Spanish because I have some experience speaking Spanish. Maybe the key is just experience. Wanna be consistent in a club? Go there, get experience. Wanna be consistent in approaching women? Well do it. Wanna be more consistent when it comes to confidence? We fake it till you make it. You'll be confident with experience. I think consistency comes out of experience. What's your view about this? Have you thought about it?

On another note, if you speak about consistency in general (like walking in the street and starting to feel insecure for no reason), again, put yourself out there and try to be in the moment and quite the negative thoughts. Try this, notice the negative voices and ask yourself: "what will be my next thought?" and wait for it. Wait for the first thought and take a step back. Observe yourself. It will create a small gap that might allow you to be in control again.

Good luck.

Daniel..

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On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Tolle. Really good advice.

ahh. at the moment, im in sucha negative state. I went out today, got into a positive state, yet didnt approach, mainly because was a lack of sets, but by the time there was i was in sucha bad state. I could barely face the walk back, i just couldnt help feeling low value, lonely and isolated from everyone else. it sucked.

I feel like just when i first started this thread, shitty and worthless. Im trying so hard to get out and approach, but its just so hard man. honestly its like pushing myself everyday to do something, sometimes it makes me feel even more insecure and shy just because how hard I find it.

I think im gunna look at others inner game techniques, cos i seem to keep having these relapses

update soon, wont let this beat me, felt close to giving up today but wont let this beat me, gunna have this figured out by tonight

_________________
I refuse to let fear be a problem

Id rather die on my feet than live on my knees