| after reading what I wrote there, my life has definitely changed for the better.
That was nearly 2 years ago now. I lost my virginity finally which helped. I also realised where I was living was hardly an optimal place to become someone. I lived in a village full of people I'd never spoken to, and the one's I had spoken to didn't like me.
I gave myself a bit of a headstart and moved in with my Dad. I still live in a village but due to him knowing a lot of people, I instantly met dozens of people who I see all the time. Becoming a big man in a small town isn't an amazing thing, but it's definitely better than being nothing in a small town.
I haven't exactly made loads of friends I hang out with, but i got a job, met lots of people, I've been speaking to more girls with less pressure.
I go out regularly now, and I'm going out for me. Not just to get girls. Getting girls is always there but it's not something I'm hugely stressing over.
I've started working out finally, actually started it seriously today. I did lose quite a bit of weight anyway naturally, going down from nearly 14 stone to about 11 stone.
It's funny how you can look back at things and realise how silly you were being. I used to make a lot of excuses.
If I'm totally honest, I still get panic attacks quite often. I've been to the doctor a few times and it is a self confidence issue mixed with depression, however they rarely occur when I'm out and about socialising.
I've gone from the kid who never goes out, and when he does he's a loser to a bit of a lad who is always out and gets to know the bar staff.
In fact, I should be seeing one girl tonight who works in one of the pubs. She's a real beauty.
Anyway the point is, I'm a totally different person now. I've changed for the better. Although I may not be someone who is totally incredible at getting girls, or speaking to people, I've definitely improved a lot, and I shall continue to.
I've realised that the whole pickup artist scene is not my thing. it would be nice to go out and get women every night, but I'd much rather be in a stable relationship with someone I care about than sleep around. Also, I have flourished without it, and when I was trying it I got myself into a very shitty little rut.
Whoever reads this, indifference is the key. I stopped caring about things, and most of those things came to me. Having an ulterior motive is a terrible habit to get out of. Do things for yourself, and just stop caring about the whole girl thing.
Not many women are particularly attracted to guys who NEED them. If you're willing to walk away, she'll try for you, and then she'll be eating out of the palm of your hand.
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"I learnt my passion in the good old fashoned school of lover boy!"
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CHAT
