| I don’t quite realize why I’m writing this post. I should actually be trying to get a few hours of sleep. However, something inside me just told me to write this post. I felt it was necessary, so I will. I see so much knowledge on inner game. I hear all these “secrets” and see these “success” stories. But how do we as men measure success?
Of course some of these questions are beyond the scope of PUA, so I will not mention them. However, one conversation I had a while back with Chief comes into memory. We had a conversation about men who had achieved great feats in history, and he anatomically transposed the word “alpha” on to them. I quickly challenged him as I have studied history for many years and understand its totality.
The reason I challenged this image of “alpha” is because it is a false vision of a man who is open, tough, rugged, unaffected by tragedy and failure, and most importantly able to let go of misfortunate and have his lot of women. And although this is the case with some men both in history and the modern world, it does not explain the multitude of men who have succeeded and had poor relations with women.
Was Adolph Hitler an alpha male? Or maybe Josef Stalin was as well. Or maybe even great men like Napoleon. Napoleon had strained relations with his wife for several years, this is known.
Most of these men have had extremely strained relationships with women. Yet they all have had extreme success in their goals. Stalin is the exception, he could get plenty women, but he became extremely possessive and abusive of them. I do not aspire to be these men for they have dark and manipulative natures. Yet I have a peculiar admiration for them. Not because it is cool or anti-American, but instead because of their life stories. All of them were peasants, poor, with no education, or prospects towards future growth. Yet they achieved their dreams.
It is a story of the below average man ascending to great heights. I do not agree with all of their methods; however, they are key examples of what the word persistence means. They all refused to give up and until they successfully reach the heights of their power.
Understanding all of these things I began to think that maybe Chief was wrong, maybe the vision of alpha is not what he said.
And then it hit me, there is a sort of indoctrinated dogma within the community of what exactly an alpha is. There have only been a few paths recognized: the bad boy, the stoic guy, or the drunken/pot head philosopher whose read a few Buddhist books and believes he is enlightened.
I am not saying don’t focus or women or don’t become the best man you can be. But what I am saying is “become your own man.” I see so much dogma in this community its concerning. It’s all about these trends and all this garbage. There is little room for guys to be themselves. Especially in cults like RSD or other PUA “gurus”.
I have realized by self-examination that I will never be any of these men, the bad boy, or the stoic man. I simply will live and die as a man of controversy and counter-culture.
So what is inner game? And what do all these historical figures have in common?
Inner game consists of two primary traits and two binary traits. From these traits all other derived tertiary or (sub-traits) exist. Furthermore, all of life’s dreams come true.
The two primary traits in successful men and the ability to achieve are:
1.) Will Power- The ability to act or withhold actions in order to achieve a greater goal.
2.) Self Discipline- The ability to weather adversity in even the worst times and maintain course. It usually involves being able to overcome challenges or adversities both from the outside world and within yourself.
The two binary trains of inner game are:
1.) Motivation- Simply put, motivation is nothing more than having faith. This has nothing to do with religious connotation, but it does deal with believing in what you are doing. If there is a lack of faith in what you are doing, or a lack of purpose it will not be achieved.
2.) Diligence- This skill can be summed up in one word, “plan.” It is nothing more than working carefully and following a plan before acting irrationally. This also means that the individual realizes that goals will occur over a length of time and come through hard work instead of the goal being achieved through instant outcomes.
All of these concepts merge to form one concept in the PUA community, “inner game.” Inner game is nothing more than a borrowed slogan from other improvement communities. In fact inner game is one of the many variations of the name, which includes: inner power and inner strength.
The irony I’ve found in this community is that inner game is some promoted concept associated with one type of man or thought. In fact it has nothing to do with that individual but rather his actions. Being “non-reactive” is nothing more than being disciplined. Not calling that girl after getting her number so soon involves will power. Getting better with women involves determination.
All of these are mere factors in what makes a man successful.
And the greatest irony of all is that I see these men who can have sex with all these women but they are still miserable. They don’t have well paying jobs, they don’t live the lives they want to live, and they just plain suck.
A multitude of people may say money does not matter, only happiness. Drowning your self in sex is not happiness. I don’t advocate for not having random hookups or sex, but I do advocate avoiding a purely pleasure based life style. Pleasure is such a surface level joy that can not be enjoyed over the long term, accomplishments can.
Don’t live your life in regret because you did not have the courage to push your life to its limits in other areas.
So why do I remain in this community? Because I have made a promise to my self that I will achieve total fitness in my life and push my life to its full potential. I intend to push my objectives and agendas as far as they go, and being socially calibrated is apart of this on going fight for total fitness.
Hobbit asked me how do you achieve these things and I say this to Hobbit. All of the four topics I mentioned above can be achieved through simple day to day tasks.
Will Power can be achieved through resisting a temptation or overcoming a fear. Many people say “man up and approach.” The concept behind this is gaining will power to actually do something and take action. Or when we say not to have that extra cookie, this too is will power. I’ve heard this phrase several times, “the power of no.” This is nothing more than having the will power to refuse anything that violates your boundaries etc. Simple right?
Discipline can be achieved as easy as well. It can be achieved by something as insignificant as making your bed up every morning, or cleaning your room once a week, or eating 4-6 balanced meals a day. You are resisting an action or continuing one based on the fact that it achieves a greater goal of help. A similar concept in the community is the power to keep approaching women and receiving rejection even in the face of adversity. The concept is no different.
Motivation is gained through no more than a purpose and or reason. Why do you clean your room? To prevent my self from getting sick, I got really sick when I was a sophomore in high school from a dirty ass room. I never wanted to go back to the hospital. It’s really that simple.
Diligence- Brainstorm and make a plan. Follow through with each and every step, carefully reevaluate and predict potential pitfalls. And then once the plan is ironed out, slowly follow the plan towards a recognized path of progress. Expect for the plan to take time and slowly walk towards it. For example, if you want a new car, you might pick up a side job to save that extra money. You realize it will take months to get the car, but you understand that you must be patient and follow the planned amount of savings you preset per month. So if the plan was to save 50% of your 4’000$ check, then you save 2’000$, no questions asked.
It is through simple day to day processes that we can improve the most neglected part of our lives in western civilization: work ethic. It is in my opinion what has brought down so many great civilizations. The people began to stop caring and wishing to do the hard work to fix the culture. Our lives as individuals are no different. There will always be a fight to grow and become stronger individuals. It is our job to stay focused and grow as much as possible.
I leave my audiences with this. Health is broken down into the following categories:
1.) Physical
2.) Mental
3.) Spiritual
4.) Emotional
5.) Social
6.) Personal Responsibility and Work Ethic (Hygiene, work ethic, coping, using natural talents, etc.)
7.) Career and Financial (Economic)
It is these 7 categories that help to balance the human individual. Sure people don’t need wealth, but you need a job and a home that makes you feel safe and happy. Sure you don’t need to be a monk, but you need enough discipline to accomplish small goals. And the other 5 categories are simple conventional models of health. Thanks for reading.
Sincerely,
Gaius
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USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR BREAKING RULE #2 and #9
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CHAT
. I know what I did wrong, didn't go through any of the practices. Time to install the disc and learn the practice examples by heart. I have 6 days, I know I can do it.