| Hey brother, I wanna show you how to build unshakable self-confidence.
You see, I was reading a blog post by some famous self-improvement guru the other day.
I don’t remember who, and it doesn’t matter.
What I do remember is that it had to do with self-confidence.
Now here’s the thing about self-confidence…
Imagine for a second that I throw you in a fancy nightclub one night, just like that! You walk in and are surrounded by tall dark and handsome men in nice suits who clearly are more successful than you. The women look like they just stepped out off the runway for Victoria’s Secret.
Yeah. Your legs would be shaking in fear. But suppose I shoved you in that same scenario over and over and over again every thursday, friday and saturday for a year. How would you feel then? Pretty comfortable in that room eh?
Now here’s the kicker – imagine I take you from that environment and throw you into an entirely new one. What happens? The anxiety comes back, the shaking legs and sweaty palms… Back to square one.
Is that confidence? Not quite.
That’s situational confidence, and don’t get me wrong, it has its uses, but if it’s not permanent, it is not real.
That’s the problem with most ‘confidence coaches’ today. The methods they use are great for building situational confidence, but that only lasts as long as your momentum does.
Most people have situational confidence – including yourself.
I’m sure you can think of a situation where you feel totally at ease, like you’re at home! But unfortunately my friend, situational confidence will just not do in the world of greatness. If you want to be magnificent, if you want to unleash your inner lion, situational confidence is a blindspot, a hindrance.
When you want to seduce a beautiful woman, a quality woman, situational confidence will not do my friend.
What you want… what you need is core confidence.
Step 1: Relax For Self-Confidence
This is always step 1.
I know you’ve heard me say it over and over but I will keep repeating it until it sinks in.
Every time I get a coaching call from a client, I always ask the question ‘what are you lacking right now to be to live the way you truly want?’
And I hear my client go on and on about every little thing that is not working out in their lives, and my heart breaks for this poor kid because, if he knew… If he only knew…
Look bluntly put, it begins inside and spills outside, not vice versa.
That’s the thing about confidence…
People misunderstand it and so begin outward (money, car, looks, women – anything they can get their hands on really) and use their circumstances to give them self-worth. But what happens when they lose everything? Yep, they crash.
Now, in order for it to begin inward, you must create space for it, and you do that by relaxing.
Take a deep breath now. Imagine there is a hand on your belly and your job is to push it off slowly. At the same time, pull air downward, as if you are airing out your genitals. Pull, fill, then hold for a second when you’re nice and comfortably full.
Now breathe out slowly and release it all to the world – open your arms away from your body and let them hang on your sides, relax your heart-space and just release everything out into the world.
Do this for 3 minutes.
Step 2: Know Your Values For Self-Confidence
Quick, what’s one character trait all men with low (or no) self-confidence have in common?
They are not trustworthy.
Now, I’m not talking about stuff like ‘dude did you or did you not eat the last Reese’s cup?’
I’m talking about a core trust – that when things go to shit, that when you lose everything, when it seems like there is simply no hope – will they break down, or rise to the occasion and be magnificent?
I’ve met very few men in my life who are able to simply bounce right back up, shake off the dust and get right back to work, no matter the circumstances. Those are real role models – those are the last remaining lions of the world.
More importantly however, can you be trusted?
Do you find yourself complaining a lot? Do you make BIG deals out of tiny trivialities? Do you find yourself making excuses for your shortcomings?
Ding ding ding! We have a winner! Sorry mate but you can not be trusted.
Well not now anyway.
Why? That’s because you do not know your own values.
And you do not know your values because you do not know your purpose.
And you do not know your purpose, because you do not know yourself.
See how interesting this is?
You’ve spent your entire life thinking ‘Oh fuck self-acceptance and exploration. Forget facing my fears and knowing myself, I don’t need that hippy bullshit. Just give me the tricks and tactics! Give me the steps to being confident. Give me the roadmap to success. Give me the tools to get my dream girl. I’ll take care of my demons later’.
And yet the journey of a man (read; not of an overgrown boy, a man) invariably leads inward.
There is no truth without self-exploration. There is no depth in self-avoidance.
So tell me, are your values your own?
Ask yourself what success means to you. Is having a big house, a nice car and a pretty girl on your arm the epitome of achievement? What do you want to be remembered for?
There is no right or wrong answer, but ask yourself if those are your values, or the values of those around you.
Step 3: Give Love For Self-Confidence
“Give whatever it is you feel the world is withholding from you” – Eckhart Tolle
You know that magnetic feeling certain people have about them?
You can’t quite seem to place it, but as soon as they walk into a room, the energy just changes.
There’s something so damn interesting about them and when they laugh – for no reason, you can’t help but laugh with them, to share that moment of joy and so grow closer.
Those magnetic people are the way they are because they are completely and totally immersed in love.
Love for themselves, love for others, love for the world, love for life, love for love itself!
How loving are you?
Do you wake up and jump out of bed? Are you thankful for another opportunity? Are you excited to leave your mark on the world? Do you feel a profound connection with the universe?
Or do you dread the day, feel as if the world is out to get you and feel completely alien to this world, as if you need to conquer it, subdue it, defeat it?
Both are equally true.
But your truth is the one you chose to give attention to.
Choose wisely.
PS: If you want to know some more awesome ways develop core confidence and unleash your inner lion, check this out!
Truly your biggest fan,
PatArmen _________________ DUDE! Take my free ebook... It's FREE  --> http://centeredmanproject.com/
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CHAT