I have never been "blown out" when opening. I have never met someone, guy or girl, young or old, who wasn't willing to stop and talk for at least a couple seconds. I also have never used anything more complex than "hey!" And some situational comment. Also, I've always had an ok game. I wouldn't say I'm bad, but almost every time when it was time to close, I couldn't do it. I've never tried phone closing, just kiss closing. Of all the games I had (which weren't that much, actually), maybe I closed around six. Probably less. But then I got a girlfriend, it lasted two amazing years and in january of this year I broke up. Why? Because I'm going on a trip around the world and I was pretty sure that was my life only chance of getting girls of all around the world. Turns out, I'm broken. Well, I did managed to get one kc two days after breaking up, and I though I was ok, but I'm not. Ever since the first country, I got two dates, thanks to tinder, and only managed to get one kc, with a 7. Now, here comes the real problem: I'm not allowing myself to go. I'm not trying. I see a girl, I think "I could probably say that and that, she seems a nice person, I'm pretty sure I could at least get a good conversation going, but... no". Doesn't matter what it is, I keep telling myself no. I'm quite sure, if I just let go, I will get trough my problems in no time, get over any aa, fix my rusty game, and who knows what else. But. I'm. Not. Letting. Go. I allow myself to go buny jumping, sky diving, taking part in tribal dancings watched by hundreds of persons, but playing? No way. It's getting so bad I'm starting to get nervous simply by being near a woman. That didn't happened to me not even in the pre-pu times. There's one more thing. Recently I started to feel like I SHOULD, not that I want to do something with women, and as far as I know that's the wrong way to go

"When you keep thinking about sense objects, attachment comes - the lust of possession that burns to anger. Anger clouds judgment. Lost is the ability to know what is right and wrong and your life becomes utter waste." - Bhagavad Gita

You suffer because you want. You want because you lack. You lack because you do not know yourself.

Love
Pat Ananda

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