A girl recently told me that I talk a lot and that I love to talk about myself. I've heard this before from other guys too and I'm starting to think it's a bit more of a negative trait.

I want to focus on other people and hold more interest as a listener rather than talker. I have become A LOT more extroverted in the past year and get distracted easily so this is a true challenge.

What are some good steps to improve this part of my personality?

When good things happen I feel the need to share them with other people. I want to stop that immediately and commit myself to becoming non-externally validated in every way possible and hold in the good times to myself unless people ask.

Any ideas?

Talking about yourself is a lot better than not talking at all. In fact...it could work in your favor but you do have to find a nice balance. Males often make the mistake of thinking about what they are going to say next whenever they have a conversation with a female. This causes your interaction to come off as unauthentic. Learn to actually engage in the conversation that you are in. Remember that although she is a female that she is still a human being as well and you should treat them as such. So that's my tip...be mindful in the conversation and listen to everything she says. You can still talk about yourself whenever it is your turn but do not change the topic unless it's a dead conversational thread. Just keep in the convo about what she is talking about...make remarks about what she is saying, share similar experiences, you can still make what you have to say relevant to you but also make it flow with the conversation at the same time!

Thanks a lot. These were good tips. I agree with the balance remark. That's what I'm looking for. A very good balance in conversation, becoming the most active listener. However, I just can't listen to everything it's too much information sometimes.