Alright, so I've been trying out some newbie pickup stuff like openers, DHV stories, comfort and rapport building and I feel pretty confident in my skill level so far. The girls I've managed to throw my material at have been receiving me positively and with romantic results. But those girls have been isolated from a social context - in other words, on dates or when we're completely alone.

Again: I feel confident working my pickup material and I've practiced it so it comes naturally (not forced or like I'm reading from a script). That's not the problem. The problem, because I'm an introvert, is that I really don't enjoy going out on pubs and clubs just exposing myself to a lot of people. I always feel like a fish out of water and drinking alcohol is not the best way to overcome this as it messes up my game.

Just want to point out that this is not AA, self-confidence or that I don't feel comfortable around women. It's that I don't feel physically comfortable in the social environments of pubs and clubs and it's killing my motivation to go out and game.

Also, I'm a highly sensitive person (HSP) which - for those who don't know - basically means I'm very sensitive to impressions in my surroundings and, in my case, especially sensitive to sound. When pubs and clubs blasts the latest radio hit into my ear drum I have an extremely hard time focusing on anything besides that, I just zone out and become irritated and stressed out. I've been trying to go to clubs only to desensitize myself to that kind of environment so I guess I will keep on trying.

The bottom line is that I really would like to find the motivation to get out in these social environments and enjoy just meeting people. I'll happily receive any advice on how to build up this kind of motivation.

/ Garruk

I probably won't be the most popular person in the world for saying this but, I should say it as perhaps nobody else will.

If you are so reactionary to physical elements in your environment, then I'm guessing you aren't in the habit of going to bars and clubs for fun in general?

If that's the case, then WHY WHY WHY, do you want to master night game? I mean.. Pickup is supposed to be fun.. You are supposed to be able to be yourself when your picking up women, but how can you be yourself in an environment that is diametrically opposed to who you are?

You can have so much awesome success during the daytime, why wouldn't you go and make daygame your bitch? Rather than try and undergo lots of stress to pick up girls in an environment you don't even enjoy? What's more, if you don't like clubs, do you really think you're going to like the types of girls you'll meet in clubs generally?

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Damien D
Head Coach - The School of Attraction
The School of Attraction

I was a shut in. Never went out, never talked to people. To make this point as clear as I can, there was one day in my life that I didn't even drink water because I knew I would have to leave my bedroom to use the toilet. Constant panic, from the time I woke until I passed out from fatigue (I never just "went to sleep"). This lasted for years.

I KNOW how uncomfortable it can be around people.

My first efforts to fix my brain where simply going out to a pub, sitting at the bar and not having a total freakout, or tearing up from fear, or just running away. It's hard, man. Fuck'n hard. But I have good news: it can change for you, and likely much easier and faster than it did for me.

Just go out... a lot. Often and as close together as possible. Learn a bit about "mindfulness" and particularly "Body scan". Sit out with people, no pressure to interact, and as often as possible notice the tension in your body and correct it. It takes practice, but you are learning to relax in a high stress situation.

Now, when I enter a pub and hear the music, all the tension leaves my body. If is more relaxing than walking into my own home.

And doing nightgame... even though it sucks is good because it has a lot more complex dynamics and variables. It is way more likely to rattle you, and mess with your head. Reactions will seem much harsher or positive and in the end, practicing in a difficult environment will make you better faster and force you to control your mind and body.

If you are uncomfortable doing something, that is exactly the reason to do. Don't worry about results or "gaming" or whatever else. Just do it until it is your new "normal". If this hot mess of a brain of mine can be rewired so dramatically, you should have no problem.

I'd like you to consider two things: Recondition yourself to like bars and club environments, or just stay true to being who you really are.

Reconditioning is pretty generic. What you do is go out and expose yourself more to all these environments. However, I strongly advise with the second consideration.

By being YOU. You don't like bar and club environments? You don't go there, not even once. (I'm technically an introvert too but I really enjoy clubs and bars. It's like my zen lol.) And what's all this DHV routines etcetera etcetera? Stop doing that. There are simpler ways to get women. Let me quote from a Pick Up Guru named Nick Sparks, "Women find it much better to be attracted to, than to be attractive." (Or somewhere along the lines haha). Point is, as an introvert, you don't have to be throwing out DHV stories to attract her. I believe Chief PUA made this clear on his introvert pick up methods. Your sexy time is your alone time with her. And that's all that matters.

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"Don't try to change who you are. Don't even think you're not good enough right now. You ARE good enough being who you are. Women can smell a fake man the same way you can smell cheesecake."

Getting to like something is all about building up momentum. Once you get enough momentum going in any direction, that serves as the primary motivation.

Start small and keep doing the small stuff til it gets easier and easier to do the bigger stuff.

You're already doing it. Now do it more.

As for your sensitivity, just because you're highly perceptive to your surroundings doesn't mean you have to filter your perceptions through self-consciousness or anything like that. Being highly perceptive to your surroundings can be one among many of an introvert's greatest strengths. You just gotta learn how to point that cannon in the right direction. Right now you're pointing it at yourself. You can start by learning how to focus your attention in the present moment through a simple exercise like daily meditation. It might seem weird and irrelevant but it really helps.

Result is what's get you motivate to go to social environments.

Set up a goal for you every time you go out and laser-beam focus on achieve your goal.

Anyway, as I am an intovert too, I do advice you to do day game, not need much social with people, just plain approaching women you like to talk to. Simple & straight forward.

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Haha, basically all my favorite forum posters are responding to this topic.

I'm in the "re-conditioning" camp, but with a caveat. First, it is important to learn how to deal with environments you aren't comfortable with. It's one of those "what doesn't kill me makes me stronger" type of experiences. However if that's ALL you're doing then something is definitely wrong.

You need to invest time also developing your interpersonal skills; being open to talk about your own self earnestly and in a relate-able way in order for others to feel comfortable opening up themselves to you. This is where inner game and day game come into play. For an introvert this is where we shine.

If nothing else, go out because it's difficult. It's like getting out of bed; you feel shitty while doing it, but you'd feel even worse if you didn't bother to make the effort at all.

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The ultimate lesson of psychoanalysis is that human life is never "just life": we are possessed by the strange drive to enjoy life in excess, attached to a surplus which derails the ordinary run of things.
-Slavoj Zizek

Get into day game approaching and also position yourself doing stuff YOU ENJOY DOING where you can also meet women.

don't force yourself in an environment you hate. Yes it takes work to develop yourself but you should still have fun doing it. So what happens if you succeed in the club? You end up with a woman you can't stand because she's totally different than you.... that aint the life to live!

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