So I'm going to post here in the hope i get some positive responses and help with my problems.

So 5 month's ago my girlfriend of 5 years walked out on me, no fights, no cheating, she just left our place and went back to her parents.I was ready to propose to her this year. In the first 3-5 weeks when I would contact her she would tell me to give her space and leave her alone. After about 7 weeks I came home to find that she had take her stuff and moved all her stuff out. For the first 2-3 months I was going out 4-5 times a week and just trying to have fun with friends and stuff. In this time she would comeback and sometimes spend the night. These situations make it even harder to move on.

I found out she had been hanging out with an old friend alot and they had been sleeping together after we broke up. This hurt me so much and still does 2 months later. I don't know how to let go of it and just move on , I was to go and bash the guy as anyone would. After this happen I went out and got a f-close and it was pretty great, first time ever.

Since then I haven't been going out as much and find myself at home most nights of the week, as friends have stop coming out with me. I have also been hanging out with the ex abit.

I'm not sure how to just break this habit and go NC from her. I feel like i'm scared to go NC because in the past 5 months I haven't really had much luck with ladies and I don't know what's my future holds. I live alone so it can be hard at times. I also don't know if ill get back with my ex so i'm not sure what to do from that stand point. I'm finding it so hard to move on from my first love, first fuck and best friend.

Any help would be greatly appreciated as i'm fair down in the dumps at the moment and really want to try start fresh in the new year .