Every man's done it, but has every man felt it? We all masturbate every now and then, and we all love the feelings it gives us. It relieves us from stress and gives us something to do if we're too sick to sarge, but it's the feeling after you climax - that guilty feeling that makes you think, "Oh, God, I can't believe I just did that! I feel so ashamed now..." What concerns me is that if I do an F-close on someone, will I still feel that guilty feeling? Because if I feel guilty climaxing after masturbation, what makes me think I won't feel guilty if I climax after sex???

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"I've learned it's important not to limit yourself. You can do whatever you really love to do, no matter what it is." - Ryan Gosling

Man as crazy as it sounds I've done a lot of thinking about masturbating recently. I think after 10 solid years of masturbating almost everyday I've subconsciously begun to go after just getting off rather than enjoying the pleasurable experience. To the point where my body immediately wants to get off as soon as the porn tab opens up. So obviously this unconscious quick trigger response is not something any man wants to relate in his mind to sex. You can see how that might be disastrous if it transferred over to real life. This is something that began to really bother me more recently when I had a little dry spout post-breakup. It was porn porn porn, guilt, guilt, then thinking - 'fuck my next bone session better be more impressive than this.'

So I found a thread on this exact forum about sex transmutation. Stopped wanking it to only once a week, Sunday. Feeling some great positive effects: more confidence/testosterone, WAY less guilty, sad, anxious feelings related to watching porn and worrying about my real sex life. Had an F-close just two nights ago and I was right there in the moment, feeling manly.

I'm not sure if this helps you. In the end I think too must masturbation is bad because it might associate negative thoughts with sex in your head, such as your case and feelings of guilt. Also its a total waste of manly, feel good energy: testosterone.

The guilt is entirely self-induced to make us believe that the act we just partook in doesn't really conform to our standard selves. We like to think that when we masturbate we are overtaken by some form of sexual possession when in reality it is still us under full control.

If you want to quit masturbation effectively you have to work at getting rid of the guilt, as it's the guilt that keeps you trapped in a cycle. It sounds paradoxical as having the guilt can seem like a good reason for wanting to stop, but once the guilt is gone the feelings of temptation will be a lot more manageable.

I honestly would like to stop masturbating. Not because of the guilty feeling (I think I'm over it now), but that I should be 1) getting lays and 2) putting my testosterone levels back to normal. I've been swinging the rod for as long as I could remember, and I've been thinking, "This has got to stop. It controls me rather than the other way around. If I'm gonna climax, it's gonna be from having sex!!" Maybe the porn is inhibiting my Gaming abilities and prevents me from improving my social skills to get the F-close by being a distraction. But since it's winter and classes are out and all the girls are indoors, sometimes there's nothing better to do but masturbate.

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"I've learned it's important not to limit yourself. You can do whatever you really love to do, no matter what it is." - Ryan Gosling

It can be a struggle to abstain, particularly when you don't see any opportunities on the horizon for the release you desire.

I have masturbated less than ten times this year (2012, which is a big difference to how often I used to choke the chicken in past years) but yet I have another 'distraction' which is seeing prostitutes. I haven't managed to get a single f-close yet and so I wonder whether this distraction is inhibiting my game or not (which is probably a lot more than wanking has potentially ever done).

I don't feel the intense guilt I used to feel after climaxing with prostitutes anymore (sometimes I actually feel better!) but despite viewing visiting prostitutes as an activity I'd rather not partake in I still indulge particularly with the frustration of not getting a f-close on a particular night sarging or what-have-you.

This is a situation I've been in for some time now and maybe the only way to effectively more forward is to finally establish the correct amount of commitment required to leave paying for sex behind for good despite continuing to not get f-closes.

This year I've masturbated less than any of my other wanking years so basically I can say that I have finally overcome that habit. And I haven't binged on prostitutes this year like I've done through some periods in past years. So, I believe with the right approach I can abstain from both activities concurrently.

Basically, abstaining from masturbation (especially when not getting sex) is not easy but I believe it's possible with the right approach and sufficient self-discipline.

1) Fair enough. However, it doesn't necessarily equate that less masturbation = more lays. Some people get too horny and just come across as desperate if they haven't masturbated for a while. That's not good either. A lot of this is also mental. It's primarily because someone has told you that masturbation will make you better with girls that you then believe it and it helps your confidence. In other words, it is the placebo effect of pick up.

2) Unlikely to be much to do with masturbation. There are studies that show your testosterone 'peaks' after 7 days of not ejaculating (note; ejaculate, not masturbate, sex counts too) and then goes back down again. Firstly - although testosterone does peak, pretty much every study that has been done has shown that the peak is fairly negligable. You won't suddenly be a huge muscular mountain of a man just because you haven't wanked for a week. You might feel some slight differences, but most of these are probably the placebo effect after being told you will feel them by misinformed people on the internet and the like. Scientifically, more than 7 days without an ejaculation won't increase your testosterone any further, and even within that 7 day period it is hardly going to have any effect (unless you kid yourself into thinking it will).

Secondly - note that it is ejaculation, not masturbation. What is everyone on this forum trying to achieve? Lots of sex, right? So if you think that masturbating reduces your testosterone to a level that actually affects your game, having sex would have the exact same effect - scientifically. An ejaculation after stimulation from your hand is no different to an ejaculation after stimulation from a woman's vagina - the same stuff comes out! This isn't even mentioning the fact that after ejaculation, your testosterone actually rises to about the same level it is after 7 days of not ejaculating - admittedly it stays for only a couple of hours or so, but that is the sort of level we're talking about. How do you feel for the hour or so after sex/masturbation ejaculations? Has your testosterone increased so significantly that you feel majorly different? Well, that's the same difference as you will feel after 7 days of not ejaculating - so quite a lot of self control for a pretty small reward!

So if you want to increase testosterone, don't do it through limiting your ejaculations - that defeats the object of trying to get laid more often. Instead, do it through eating better and lifting heavier weights.

Kirebt's point about masturbating purely for climax is perhaps an issue though. That doesn't bode well for transferring across to a woman - if you masturbate quickly just to 'get off' then chances are your penis will be in the same 'frame of mind' when you get to a female. However, that is not because of the masturbation, that is because of how you masturbate.

Masturbation is actually a very good way to improve your 'staying power'. Using the correct techniques you can find out what you enjoy, you can find out how to control yourself when you get a bit too excited. Practice 'edging' (where you come close to climax, stop, then go again, repeat) which helps to build stamina in much the same way that interval training (sprint, jog slow, sprint, jog slow) helps to build stamina for a runner.

There is a difference,by yourself there is only your yang sexual energy.With a female you get to exchange yours with hers and vice versa.They complement each other.
But almost all ejaculate,it's like you are depleting fixed assets which is not replenishable.I'm refering to sexual energy/life force ,it's literally in the ejaculate/sperm.

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law of attraction=Your reality is the outcome of your thoughts.

Well, as I suggested above, you deal in ying and yang, and I'll deal in science. Each to their own. The opening poster can believe whatever he wants.

Personally, I judge chinese/oriental mysticism as made up nonsense, but I am happy to acknowledge that such beliefs can have positive effects in some people if they choose to believe it.

Either way, like I said above, each to their own.

It's good that you pointed this out.Whether this is beliefs or science,it's up to the individual to investigate.

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law of attraction=Your reality is the outcome of your thoughts.