Issue of mine (and maybe you should share your stories)



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PostPosted: Wed Dec 12, 2012 12:35 am 
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So lately I've been getting back into PUA activity. I've always tried to specialize in natural game, and for the most part I've had success with it. Sometimes I have what might be characterized as too much success.
Lets cut to the chase. A very good friend of mine is dating a model. I never payed much attention to this, but when I eventually got to know her, I found her incredibly depressing.
The reason I found her depressing, I soon realized, was that my friend (also a PUA) used her submissive tendencies to control her. With time I developed an intolerance for this and when I commented to model girlfriend (we'll call her "May" following this) about my friend's SPAM of her, May seemed to agree completely with what I said. Surprisingly enough, May and I are so like minded that we just fell into a routine of talking to each other nearly everyday.
Soon we developed into something more than friends and I am now in an affair. Amazingly enough, the moral issue of cheating on my friend doesn't disturb me nearly as much as other things. Chief among these is that I have a few, but not at all insignificant insecurities: My height (I'm 5 '11, but for whatever reason, I'm somewhat sensitive about that), my morals (they're weird, nebulous, mostly inoffensive, but I don't always like to talk about them), and my sense of ownership.
Long story short, my friend sent me nude pics of May as his sort of gloating joke (he has no idea what is going on between us) and it occurred to me that the single most abhorrent thing to me about May is that my friend has slept with her and WILL gloat about it when given the chance.

So this boils down to: my friend is an asshole (I don't want to get into details, they're not super relevant), I'm a nicer guy and I got the girl, but I'm not sure how to think about the fact that she was his first.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 12, 2012 3:52 pm 
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Joined: Mon Dec 10, 2012 7:40 am
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Quote:
So lately I've been getting back into PUA activity. I've always tried to specialize in natural game, and for the most part I've had success with it. Sometimes I have what might be characterized as too much success.
Lets cut to the chase. A very good friend of mine is dating a model. I never payed much attention to this, but when I eventually got to know her, I found her incredibly depressing.
The reason I found her depressing, I soon realized, was that my friend (also a PUA) used her submissive tendencies to control her. With time I developed an intolerance for this and when I commented to model girlfriend (we'll call her "May" following this) about my friend's SPAM of her, May seemed to agree completely with what I said. Surprisingly enough, May and I are so like minded that we just fell into a routine of talking to each other nearly everyday.
Soon we developed into something more than friends and I am now in an affair. Amazingly enough, the moral issue of cheating on my friend doesn't disturb me nearly as much as other things. Chief among these is that I have a few, but not at all insignificant insecurities: My height (I'm 5 '11, but for whatever reason, I'm somewhat sensitive about that), my morals (they're weird, nebulous, mostly inoffensive, but I don't always like to talk about them), and my sense of ownership.
Long story short, my friend sent me nude pics of May as his sort of gloating joke (he has no idea what is going on between us) and it occurred to me that the single most abhorrent thing to me about May is that my friend has slept with her and WILL gloat about it when given the chance.

So this boils down to: my friend is an asshole (I don't want to get into details, they're not super relevant), I'm a nicer guy and I got the girl, but I'm not sure how to think about the fact that she was his first.
Whatever. Take her if you like her. You're doing her an immense favour and to the world actually, assholes don't deserve cute girls.
Remember, you and your friend will probably have a bad time after this though.

Whatever if he gloats, just remember, he was a fucking bitch to her and he keeps being like that, punch him in the face if he disrespects her even more. Let out your anger on him. (I could use your situation loool)


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 12, 2012 4:06 pm 
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If the girl is sufficiently attractive; people will eventually conjure up the moral justifications to accompany the girlfriend steal. You are already staging the girlfriend steal.

Then again; if assholes are your friend, wonder, what do you bring to friendships, in general?

Looks like you buy into loads of feminist crap with this ´´my friend is exploiting his model girlfriends´ natural submissiveness.´´


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 12, 2012 6:28 pm 
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Quote:
If the girl is sufficiently attractive; people will eventually conjure up the moral justifications to accompany the girlfriend steal. You are already staging the girlfriend steal.

Then again; if assholes are your friend, wonder, what do you bring to friendships, in general?

Looks like you buy into loads of feminist crap with this ´´my friend is exploiting his model girlfriends´ natural submissiveness.´´
^ I'd basically agree with this statement however expanding. Look, you say your a nice guy etc. I'd say..BS. If you were a nice guy you'd never go into such a situation. That said, you gotta concern yourself- is this female worth more than your friendship? Further if you deem this your "friend" then you gotta start asking..well why is he my friend. (cause reality is you hang out with ppl like you).

You taking the oh shes a victim etc. well in reality..she chose this, its her problem not yours, that said- if you want to go through with this, your choice, your consequences- and really she seems like damaged goods. Whatever you choose- be ready for the things that follow after it.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 12, 2012 7:33 pm 
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Is May still submissive and depressing?

_________________
“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 17, 2012 3:40 pm 
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I don't really see how anyone on here can help you very much. She's going to have slept with loads of people. One of them just happens to be someone you know - your friend. Can you deal with that? If you can, then great go for the girl. If you can't deal with that, then end it with her and go on to the next person.

It's all well and good people on here saying "just ignore your friend if he gloats", "cut him out", etc. etc. but at the end of the day, we can't tell you how you'll feel about something. If you can't get over it, or you feel weird because of it, then you haven't got much choice other than to move on. If you don't care and can get past it, then keep doing her!


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 18, 2012 10:03 am 
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All of what you've said has been helpful. I understand that I may have come off as self-righteous (I didn't want to bore you with descriptions of preteen-like behavior that my friend has demonstrated). May is still submissive and depressing, but much less so than before now that we've gotten to know each other better. Even though I didn't initiate this, I think I'm going to go for her. She's at the very least a very attractive woman.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 19, 2012 8:35 pm 
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Words of caution, from experience.

If you pursue a relationship that grew from an affair, be aware that it may only be a matter of time before your confidence is shaken because you know May is capable of cheating. Consider just as much, if not more, that she is likely to develop this concern about you.

This is a great post about this subject, and it is one of the things that got me thinking clearly that directly pursuing a relationship that started as an affair is not something I wanted to do.

http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ ... er=2478315

This was written by a chick who clearly is not stupid, but regrets a lot of her decisions. Your thoughts and feelings about your friend and such might be justified, but it doesn't change what might become of you two if you pursue the relationship.


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