I hit rock bottom three weeks ago and am still here. I'm 20 years old and for four months me and my girlfriend had the happiest time of our life. Then I had to go and screw it all up. I stopped going to school, I stopped taking care of my car and other responsibilities. She tried telling me I had to take better care of myself and my priorities. I didn't listen. I ended up OD'ing on Xanax for which she blamed herself and said she didn't need that kind of burden in her life. She told me that she would consider getting back together if and only if I got my sh** together and she was adamant that that would take several months. She asked for space. At first I couldn't see the forest for the trees and didn't give it to her. She got upset and said that this wasn't a game and that I needed to give her time to miss me. I screwed up when she said she'd contact me when I could come over and get my stuff and I said to mail it. She got defensive and said "fine, you won't have to see me ever again". She asked me to please not text or call her. I've respected that so far. It's been about two weeks. I'm fairly certain she misses me, however, I know she's enjoying the breathing room and not feeling smothered or burdened. But I know she was in love with the man I was. She was borderline obsessed. My only problem was I reciprocated that obsession tenfold. Her birthday is in a few weeks. I was thinking of texting her just happy birthday and maybe a few days later trying to open up conversations again.

Any advice on how to fix that would be really appreciated. But more important, I need to fix myself. I wake up every day depressed. I already have three girls numbers and dates if I want them (talking has always been my strong suit), and the more I talk to them and date them the more I realize there aren't any that I connect with on a level quite like her. You might laugh but she's probably about a 5 or 6 my ex, but that's not what I loved about her. We just clicked.

I'm thinking of joining Christianity and putting myself in Jesus' hands. I'm also thinking about joining the military or Air Force, however I don't know if they'll take someone who has a disability and a psych record for attempted suicide. Her issues with me were that, for instance, my car would break down and I wouldn't fix it. I would run out of gas with her in the car when I just spent money on food for her. I would sit at home all day instead of going to class or finding a second job. I kept making promises and not following through. And I was selfish and put drugs before her. Also I embarrassed her in front of her friends at a social event by arguing with her nonstop, making her cry, and essentially ruining her night then leaving her there dateless.

How do I start fixing myself? I'm in debt, my parents won't let me out of their sight because of my suicide attempt, and I desperately need to find something to do with my time. It's easy to say get busy, but I don't know what to do. I know I need to clean up where I live; I need to find a second job; I need a new car; I need to sign up for classes; I need to get new glasses; I need to get back into shape; I need to get up in the mornings. But it's really really hard. But if I have any chance of getting her back I suppose I have to change myself for the better and become a man she can admire and obsess about like she once did. Please help I've really never been in such a dark place in my life and I don't know how to break out.

You dug this whole on your own and you know that. The way you dig yourself out of it is exactly the way you got into it. One step at a time. You stopped going to school, stopped taking care of your car, etc etc. You get yourself out by focusing on one or two things at a time.

Start with yourself and your immediate area around you. Clean yourself up, get a new haircut, shave, etc. Then work on cleaning up your room or wherever it is that you live that you've let get away from you. The reason for this is very simple psychology. If you start looking and acting the part the rest will start to follow. If what you see everyday is disorder and chaos from that life its easy to get back in that rut. If you keep yourself and the stuff around you in good shape, you'll start taking care of other things in your life.

Make a list of all the things you want to do or change. Seriously write all of them down. Put them somewhere you can look at it everyday, like a mirror. Each day wake up and focus on 1 thing...or two things...if that's too much go back to one thing. Today it may be to get your place in order. Tomorrow it may be spending a few hours on your car... Take it a day at a time, and a bite sized chunk at a time.

If you keep thinking of ALL the stuff going on its overwhelming. I know cause I've been there and still digging myself out in some respects with debt. And as far as debt goes I'm very much for the Dave Ramsey approach. (Start by paying off the smallest debt...even if you can only send them $5 a month...slowly pay it off...start with the smallest and work your way around.) Trust me this method works very well. His book is pretty great too btw!

I'd highly recommend getting involved with the church. There is a lot they can help you with by praying for you, offering you guidance, giving you a support group as well.

The military on the other hand, although I think they are great and could definitely help, they do frown on debt and other things. They'd definitely "make you" get your shit together for sure. However, that is signing a "contract" for your life. In the emotional condition you are in I'm not sure that you should sign such a HUGE LIFE ALTERING contract, where you literally belong to the government. Wait a year, and if you still want to join then join.

All prayers and blessing with you.

Jon

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

I agree with the advice above. and I am also in the same situation. Just like with the debt advice pay off the smallest one first start getting your shit together the same way.

I suggest the glasses are probably the easiest. book a morning appointment to get you out of the house nice and early, this means your not alone by yourself all night when you can't sleep.

After that little 'achievement' find a website and start looking at jobs you might apply for bookmark that page and check back everyday. (hows your c.v looking?)

Next pick 10 excersises and aim to do say 10/20 of each one a day. You don't have to be that dedicated yet but just get the feel of the chemicals going through you which will make you feel better. You can actually feel it. I do 15 minute jogs and joined up to a gym today to do circuit training. Honest feeling better already.

Also book an appointment with your doctor and get on meds if you haven't already or if you don't want to go on meds find out your options. I've been having counselling and it's basically an introduction to basics of psychology which helps with game anyway.


You realised you can't be with your girl at the moment. Take time on yourself, I'm in the exact same position and she has text me and tried to add me on facebook but I'm just being selfish if I start talking to her.

There are only 24 hours in a day. Half hour here and there can easily start adding up to keep you distracted. It's also a good idea to get out with friends for a few hours even if it's just going for a walk. Can always go clothes shopping, anything to fill half an hour or so.

drug addiction forum is not here sorry.
you have to find professional help. you known what the problem is. solve it. then everything will be ok. keep it simple.

I agree that you should start by making some life style changes. If you find that you are still depressed, consult a medical professional. Good Luck!

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A good woman inspires a man, a brilliant woman interests him, a beautiful woman fascinates him, and a BOSS B*TCH gets him #CBM

Skooled to The Game