Some realizations I have made about building "self-confidence" and decreasing anxiety in intimidating situations----

Step 1: Physical Combat

Martial Arts are constantly said to be one of the best things to do if you are looking to increase your self confidence. I have been practicing Boxing, Jiu Jitsu, and Judo on and off for the past two years. From that, I have come to understand why this is so and would like to share it with you all who are looking to build your self esteem up.

The reason that these arts build MY self esteem is because I am constantly engaging in physical combat with other males. It takes much of the fear out of getting in real altercations. It is not that I have an idea of how to defeat another male that makes me more confident but the fact that I simply know exactly how it will feel to fight. Since I am practicing these arts a few times per week, I know how my body reacts to the stress and adrenaline. I really believe this by itself is what people are afraid of.

With that being said, I am not going into these practices to beat anyones ass. I go in because I honestly think it is fun, it is a workout to combat all of the five guys and chick-fil-a that I eat, and then I am constantly reminded of what it feels like to get thrown around and punched in the face.

From what I have come to realize and studied, most of human fear is simply fear of the unknown. Therefore I constantly make the effort to engage in intimidating activities (even ones that I know I will fail in) just so I have some information on them. That in itself makes it less intimidating because at least you have an idea of what you will go through and aren't going up against it without a plan.

I will conclude that by conditioning myself to know what it feels like to fight another male that I am less intimidated by all males in general. I believe the caveman analogy that many PUAs use is still relevant today because we do face a very physical threat if we hit on the wrong girl. Their men could belittle us in front of everyone and then there is always that underlying threat of a physical altercation. From practicing martial arts, the threat has less affect on the body and therefore, for me, I can maintain more of a clear head when deflecting other men instead of worrying about if there is a fight.


Step 2: Being as social as possible

This advice is also extremely generic. Tony Robbins says that "repetition is the mother of all skill". This is really a no brainer considering how athletes train and how we prepare for a spelling bee or math test. With that being said, I have completely stopped looking at any of my weak skill sets as "inborn flaws". This has led me to believe that the only thing a "natural seducer" is that we are not is simply someone who has more repetitions in dealing with women. This makes perfect sense to me considering I started off being intimidated by women and therefore avoided them. All I have to do to get on the "natural's" level is to just put myself around women more often. By doing that my physiological responses like anxiety will decrease with every interaction because it is something that I have seen before. I use this same belief system with literally every aspect of my life. It is the most liberating belief system I have ever taken on. It literally takes the fear out of fear because I know that the fear is only temporary and will decrease with each repetition.

Recap:

If you are intimidated by girls - make an effort to hang out with girls as much as possible. If they have a vagina and you have time, get over to them no matter how hideous.

If you are intimidated by bodybuilders and the gym - interact with body builders and just chill inside of a ymca.

If you are intimidated by bars - just go to bars as much as possible and hang out. It wont be as big of a deal every time.

If you are afraid to dance - dance whenever possible around your house, in your car, whenever music is playing just move to it. When you hit the clubs your body will just start moving like it does when you are alone.