| Hello there people,
So here's the thing, when I was 14 or 15 years old (about 5-6 years ago), one night I got very bored and decided for some reason to film myself dancing alone in my room (you can laugh haha), and my mates found the video on my computer a few days later, so ofcourse they took it of my computer and showed it to everybody, making fool of me ofcourse, so I felt my reputation was basically over, this had some serious concequences, I stopped hanging out with them, and I'm almost sure I made waaay too big a deal out of this, but what's done is done, I felt reeeally fucking humiliated, I was very popular, and suddenly I was known as “the kid in the dancing video”. This is actually a true story, no matter how ridiculous this must sound.
So anyways, I basically forgot about this and didn't think about this experience for a few years until about a year ago, it all came back to me, I started feeling guilt (why the heck didn't I just NOT film myself dancing like an idiot, or at least delete it from my computer??), I start feeling paranoid and thinking “what if my old friends still have the video and will show it to all my new friends that I have made, or if they suddenly decide to put it on youtube or facebook and show it to everybody, my most humiliating experience”. So I fear if they still posess the video, but I'm not going to ask them because then they will remember it, and probably bring it back.
I realize I was just a kid back then, and NO ONE probably remembers or even cares about this except me. I realize how ridiculous this sounds, but this is actually an issue and sometimes I feel very depressed about this, even though this should have no relevance to my life now (but I fear it could, if someone remembers the video and decides to show everyone and bring back this blast from the past).
I wonder if anyone relates to anything similar? I can't stand the feeling of my friends having “dirt” on me, like something they can always bring up if they suddenly don't like me. I feel like I'm using this video as an excuse not to socialize or talk to women, because I fear that if they see this embarassing video of me, they will stop hanging around and see me as a weirdo.
Wow, reading over this, I can only imagine how weird you must think all of this is.
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