Quote:
I realize that when you start thinking about the outcome of an interaction/night out too much (getting contact info, a date, sex, etc.), it leaves you with a negative attitude especially when things don't go as well as you want. However, I always seems to find myself thinking about the outcome too much when I go out (especially when I go out to clubs). What is a good way to maintain a good attitude and not worry about results? Is there a sure method or is it one of those things that comes with already having a lot of successful experiences with women?
There is a 100% sure method. Make your goal something that is extremely deep and win-win.
My #1 thing with women is that I want the best relationships possible....EVERY woman I've decided I give any attention to.
So, I AM A MAN WHO HAS THE BEST RELATIONSHIPS WITH WOMEN. What happens in interactions isn't a big deal at all because as long as I'm doing my personal best and improving myself as a man on the inside, I'm achieving my goal and it's an endless one.
Who is a man who has the best relationships with women? A Superior Man.
So, here's an example:
I AM A SUPERIOR MAN.
(list of qualities that a superior man has)
A SUPERIOR MAN HAS SUPERIOR RELATIONSHIPS WITH WOMEN.
A SUPERIOR MAN IS IRRESISTIBLY ATTRACTIVE TO WOMEN.
Work on your clearly defined list....(I'll give an example below) When you've done this for a few weeks frequently and as consistently as possible, your unconscious picks up on it and starts taking care of it for you. At that point, every time you do something out of that list or "tweak out" one of them. the "I AM A SUPERIOR MAN" gets increased in your unconscious.
Remember the commitment and consistency principle, it applies to this. When you focus on your list and review it, AND WRITE IT, and INTERNALIZE IT, your unconscious wants to remain consistent so it sort of boxes you in and after a while it'll throw anxiety at you if you DO NOT follow your own list. It's pretty friggin cool since anxiety is supposed to help you.
AN Example:
I AM A SUPERIOR MAN.
(says what's on his mind, decisive, is clear about boundaries)
A SUPERIOR MAN HAS SUPERIOR RELATIONSHIPS WITH WOMEN.
A SUPERIOR MAN IS IRRESISTIBLY ATTRACTIVE TO WOMEN.
Each time you get a chance to speak your mind, and you care what others might think, BLURT IT OUT ANYWAY. You'll begin to notice after a few weeks of this, your mind will become more comfortable with it and start to "nudge" you with some anxiety when you DON'T speak your mind. This Is Good. (politics is good too, but it's better to go extreme and feel kinda like a jerk than have women feel you're untrustworthy since women do not truly trust guys who are afraid to speak their minds)
Every time you make a decision EVEN IF IT'S A WRONG ONE, then do it unless it's something major like suddenly quitting your job or something similar. Even very minor decisions are excellent. Deciding to change the way you tie your shoes or deciding to change which one you put on first increases your brains happy level (you're In The Moment each time you make a real decision) and increases the SUPERIOR GUY magnet a bit.
An Example: I was with some girls and one guy. The girl that was driving got confused as to where at and stopped at an intersection and wanted someone to tell her which way we needed to go. The guy was "i dunno"-like, the girls were the same, so I told the girl that I was absolutely sure we needed to go right. We went right and ran into a dead end. The guy was like "hah-hah, that was dumb" and I said "well, at least I had a 50% shot at it instead of 0% still sitting at that intersection" and the girls thought that was funny.
It seems like a lame story, but it's not. When you work on DECISIVE it means DECISIVE on everything (of course, i was taking charge as well, being confident, certain, not apologizing, being funny about it, etc...)
Clear about boundaries example: Have a limit on what you'll allow women to do regarding your body and have a few categories. Unfamiliar girls, girls who are "in" (treat you with respect, I label them ALLIES), and girls you've filed under "THREAT", (not "don't like"). So, let's say you'll allow a girl you don't know to briefly touch your arm but not rest her hand on it without permission. (seriously, do this). When a woman you don't know rests her hand on your arm, look at it, look up at her, and casually say "you didn't ask". When she removes it, continue the conversation or talk about something else. Each time you do this, like with the other examples above, it gives you a boost as well as reference experiences for your brain...you're training it and it wants to trust your conscious judgement.
This last example may seem quite insane or rude to many guys, but it's very very attractive in "girl world". Women want a guy with clear and consistent boundaries, and they get really hot about this thing because ALL WOMEN WANT A BOYFRIEND WHO DOES THIS SORT OF THING. ALL OF THEM. THEY WANT A MAN WHO WILL DO THIS EVEN IF {some popular model} DID IT. BE THAT EXTREMELY RARE GUY!
Anyway, you need to make your own list. Use positive wording and avoid DON'T/SHOULDN'T or anything similar. After a while of doing this and listing examples to yourself for each phrase of this list, you'll be able to do something really cool, switch to your SUPERIOR MAN state of mind when you want.
Here is how you'll do it....when you get stuck, like getting inside your head or otherwise nervous, just think "I AM A SUPERIOR MAN". What this will do is switch your frame/mindset/state to the one you use when you're working on being a superior man and will trigger the list automatically as well as:
A SUPERIOR MAN HAS SUPERIOR RELATIONSHIPS WITH WOMEN.
A SUPERIOR MAN IS IRRESISTIBLY ATTRACTIVE TO WOMEN.
This absolutely works. And, she'll notice the shift in your state as well. Women are very very very perceptive about state shifts...they just get confused a lot because of culture programming, media information, insecurity in general, etc... BUT THEY WILL NOTICE THIS CLEARLY WHEN IT'S CLEAR TO YOU THAT YOU'RE A SUPERIOR MAN. When you've worked on this after a while, you'll see that women will be thrown off a bit when you do this. That means it's working.
Have one specific outcome and that's that you're SUPERIOR MAN mojo is increasing more and more as you build the skills. I have over 100 qualities attached to my I'M A SUPERIOR MAN frame, and every few days I'll look them over (write them, or get an encrypted note taking program for privacy) and "tweak one out".
Example: A Superior Man is Courageous. I have a clear definition (i changed a dictionary one slightly, one I liked) of what this means so that my unconscious knows precisely what I want.
Courage: the quality of mind or spirit that enables me to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., without fear and to act in accordance with my beliefs ESPECIALLY in spite of criticism.
Virtually all PUA advice involves at least one, if not many qualities. That's why the stuff works. As you begin to list, clarify, and work on more and more qualities, you'll start to see more clearly and confidently what those qualities are. Start making your own list. Tweak it out. Work on it. It has to be YOUR list and YOUR definitions/labels. Read it out loud to yourself, even if it's whispering. Make sure you're in the same relaxed state when you do it....you're creating an anchor for your SUPERIOR MAN emotional state. Make sure that emotional state is a Happy Place.
I AM A SUPERIOR MAN.
(quality, quality, quality, quality, quality..................)
A SUPERIOR MAN HAS SUPERIOR RELATIONSHIPS WITH WOMEN.
A SUPERIOR MAN IS IRRESISTIBLY ATTRACTIVE TO WOMEN.
I noticed you used the word "successful" so you could add
A SUPERIOR MAN IS SUCCESSFUL WITH SUPERIOR WOMEN (notice what I did there
)
CHAT
I'm going to start taking the advice from both of you today.