| Some people believe lack of confidence is sort of a mental disease that needs to be cured. Actually lack of confidence is just a self-appraisal: You’ve determined you probably aren’t good enough to succeed at the task at hand. Think about it, you don’t lack confidence in your ability to dress yourself, tie your shoes, or walk down a flight of stairs. It’s only when you find something difficult that you’re not confident.
If you must do something hard, you need to prepare. The more you prepare the more competent and, in turn, confident you will become. If you feel competent to do an approach, but still don’t feel confident enough, try to break it into baby steps. Where possible, start with the parts you feel confident about. If your confidence is so low that you dread approaching an HB8-10, consider starting out with some 6-7. For example, the day before you approached a HB9 but failed, consider approaching some 6’s and 7’s you’ll likely be welcomed, soon become a hit and in turn, be more confident and relaxed. Then you’ll gain the confidence to go after a higher-level babe.
Some people get a confidence boost by improving their appearance. Would it help if you lost weight, bought some new clothes, got a new hair style, shaved, a complete makeover? Everyone seen the fat kid whose lost weight and became a monster in their interactions with people. I had a friend that was 5’7”, always stressed about his height. He went and bought some of those lift shoes that raised his height 3”. Overnight he became more confident and sure of himself. He doesn’t wear them anymore, but he still maintains his confidence.
Portray positive body language. Emulate others walk, movements and talk who are confident. If you have a video camera, have a friend record you walking and your movements. You could tell them you’re trying to improve your body language for work...
Get rid of the people who put you down or bring you down. Make new friends... Surround yourself with positive friends that encourage you in a positive way. Happiness and positive attitudes are contagious, so by surrounding yourself with confidently happy people you will feel more confident too.
Other people gain confidence from visualizations: picture you as the guy who just had a successful F close from a 10, was a hit at a party or function, whatever. Surely you’ve had some success in the past, remember those successes and picture the same outcome.
Don’t stress about what others say about you, most people who put others down are simply lacking in their own self confident. They are usually trying to draw attention away from their own faults and low self esteem. Your confidence is the most important trait in your life, never let anyone shatter it.
If none of the above techniques work, fake it ‘til you make it. Pretend you are confident and just do it. Often you’ll find that getting into action gives you more confidence than all the affirmations in the world. Act confident, look confident and feel confident and soon you will be confident.
Just remember, everyone has had their share of failures, and anticipate they may fail again. When a confident person fails, they know they’ll survive—they’ll just move on to the next challenge. In contrast, losers fear failure so much they don’t try, which, of course, ensures they’re failures.
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I will not apologize for who I am, what I am or what I'm about to do...
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