| High school was fun. I first stumbled upon PUA material when I was 15, and man, the stuff really worked wonders for me in school. Grades 10-12 were some awesome years, every girl just loved these techniques. And then came college.
Suddenly, all that fun stopped, and slowly, yet steadily, I started getting into a downward spiral with the 'woman' and basic social aspect of my life. I never experienced dorm life, I knew that living in a dorm wouldn't be good for my grades, and I made a choice. I live with it, but at the same time, it also forced me to be in a new city, knowing nobody and the only way to get to know somebody was by the means of a cold approach. And this applied not only to women, but to anyone in general. A cold approach was the only way..You can imagine how many people I've met.
In my three years in college, there are a few things I've learnt that I believe would be helpful to you guys. Maybe not so much for the guys who live in dorms, regardless of whether your social life is great or not, but more so for the guys who go on with life with college (or anything else) being a side thing. I've slowly started getting out of this rut and while I'm not dating that smart 10 yet, I'm now confident within myself and know that the only limits are the ones set in my mind. Here are some tips some of you could use.
1)Nobody really cares about you as much as you think. This isn't on the down-perspective.. remember, just as people don't care much about you, you shouldn't care too much about them. Remember, everyone has their own set of worries and problems and you're inconsequential to them, just as they're inconsequential to you and your life. If you think that trying to talk to that hot girl in class and getting rejected would make you a laughing stock, it won't. She wouldn't remember it the next day, and she's not going to go around shouting your rejection out to everyone. Approach people knowing that even your greatest social blunder wouldn't matter to them..and then it wouldn't matter to you.
2) In college, assumption and pretending is a huge boon. If you assume to have a great life, people around you would believe that you actually have it going. 90% of people in college lead boring lives, contrary to what you've seen in movies. Most people, almost always, need someone 'fresh' to come in and swoop their boredom away. If you can 'assume' to be this person, your interaction with just about anyone would be much better. Have a little bit of that 'larger than life' feeling to yourself. Remember, this feeling should not be expressed in words. It should show in your attitude and body language.
3) Assume again. ASSUME RAPPORT. Next time you're making a cold approach, simply assume that the person you're approaching is not a stranger, but a long lost friend who you're dying to talk to. This really, truly, is the best piece of advice I ever read and can give you. It worked wonders for me, somebody who had no confidence for approaching people. Assume rapport. This way you'll genuinely be interested in the person, and their defenses would be lowered seeing how straightforward and genuine you are. And it's the simplest of tricks to play on your mind; it just works every time. I made a few friends notoriously good with women and I noticed how seamlessly they would talk to people around them and their pick up target. They treated their target as inconsequential to the big picture.
4) You can sit around waiting for something to happen but it wont. I spent an entire year hoping my 'looks' or my 'charm' would land me beautiful goddesses. And here I am posting on this forum. Don't sit around and waste time. Go out. Do something. I always thought there's nothing to do, or that if I go to a bar alone people will laugh at me for being a social 'loser'. Look at point 1 again. That's what killed this feeling.
5) Be genuinely interested, curious, amused and concerned for other people. At the same time, be truly grateful, positive, charmed and confident about yourself.
I'm now nearing the end of my college life, and there are a few things I could've done differently, in retrospect. But it's a new day anytime you wake up, and a new day brings new choices and things.
Some quotes to end the post:
"There is no point in worrying about the risk in the opportunity, the fruit lies in the opportunity within the risk."
"Never feel too connected to the fruit reaped from an action; instead, concern yourself only with the action. For in action thrives the opportunity, while the fruit creates motives"
|
CHAT
