Healing your emotional self

- If you still have a lot of anger inside you towards another person; Write a fake letter to the person who has abused or neglected you. Let yourself say all the negative hateful things that are going through your head. After your done burn it up
o Have an imaginary conversation with your abuser. Tell that person exactly what you feel and don’t hold anything back. It may help to loom at a picture of the person or pretend to have an imaginary conversation with him or her sitting in a chair right across from you.
o Find a creative outlet for your anger. For example take a piece of fruit and smash it against a wall or paint the rage you feel when you think about the SPAM you received. Then after your done destroy it completely.
o Find a physical activity that helps you release your anger in a safe way. This can be from Mma training, basketball, to football. Make sure it’s a physical sport.
- - Make a self-talk diary in which you record your thoughts you talk to yourself throughout the day. Write down your self-talk statements whenever you feel angry, sad, depressed, guilty, and so forth.
- Emotionally separating from your parents.
o List all the ways you feel you are similar to your parents.
o List all the ways you feel you are different from your parents.
o Write about how the two lists make you feel. Are you sidturbed by how many similarities there are? Are you proud of the differences?
- Make a list of your parents beliefs and values that you agree with.
- Make a list of the beliefs and values you disagree with.
- Consider which of your parents beliefs and values are conducive to self-neglect and self abuse.
- Which of the values from item 3 have you taken on as your own?
-Completing your unfinished business with abusers.
- Confronting those who have abused you enables you to take back your power. There are lots of ways to confront a person. The best and safest way is through facebook, email, etc.
- Make a letter to the person. List all the neglectful or abusive behaviors this person inflicted upon you. Explain how you felt as a result of these behaviors. List the effects these behaviors had on you both as a child and as an adult and how your life has been affected. List everything you wanted from the person at the time. List what you want from the person now.

- Quieting the inner critic.
o Ways to silence the inner critic; Shut the fuck up you little bitch. These are fucking lies and thiers no truth in them you little pussy ass bitch.
- The sabetour.
o Our inner sabetour is much stronger and worser than our critic. It most likely if not always enters our lives when things are going great. When we are happy, fulfilled, feel good about ourselves, or just achieved something big were proud of. Then it rears its ugly head. It says some very mean things to you. This is almost the same as your inner critic but is a lot more stronger, negative, and has a much bigger effect on you.
o Heres an example. I remember one time when I was feeling real good after a night out sarging. I haven’t felt like this in a long time. After I get home the voice turned on. It said “Don’t get too fucking happy you prick its gonna end sooner than you think” Then a flurry of negative thoughts started popping up. It felt as if I was posseseed. It was a very disturbing experience but then I realized that wasn’t my voice that was talking but it was my mothers because I recall an incident back when I was younger when she said those exact same words. So I talked back to my sabetour and this is what I said. “I am going to win this battle and you are no longer going to sabotage my happiness”. I felt very powerful after I said that. But beware you might experience some very unpleasant things when you take this approach. I had trouble sleeping and was even scared to sleep in my own bed. I always had pictures and voices in my head popping up that sounded like the devils. It was a very disturbing experience but very well worth it.
- Replacing your critical voice with a more positive one.
o Examples; Im doing the best I can and that’s all that matters. Given the circumstances this is all I can do for now.
- Who are you?
o Are you uncomfortable being alone? Or are you aware that you need time alone? What do you enjoy doing when you are alone?
o When do you feel most secure? When do you feel least secure?
o When do you feel most competent? When do you feel least competent?
o How do you get your needs met?
o Do you do best in a structured environment or an environment with lots of freedom?
o Start a list of your personality traits. Both negative and positive. Have a diary of this and carry it around everywhere and write down your insights.
o Write a list about yourself based on your observations and what you already know about yourself to be true. Include your physical, spiritual, emotional, intellectual, and social sides. Add to your list whenever you notice something new.
- Your feelings
o List some of the things that tend to make you angry.
o What are some of the things that make you feel sad?
o What makes you afraid?
o What makes you feel guilty?
o What makes you feel happy or joyous?
o What makes you feel fulfilled or satisfied?
- Additional notes;
o On emotions; Breate into them as the witnessing presence. Don’t judge them just feel through them. Imagine them as a wave of energy going through you.
o Your parents or other abusers reactions to you were their responsibility and theirs alone. It is vital that you understand this.
o Express your anger towards your abusers. Getting angry at your abuser will affirm your innocence and the vital force of anger will be moving in the right direction. Outward instead of inward.
o The more you express your anger the less afraid of it you will be.
o Stop labeling emotions as good or bad and instead see them as important messages that can educate you about yourself, your circumstances, and your environment.
o Whenever experiencing negative emotions be mindful with them. That is to say don’t fight them off. To experience your emotions your gonna have to follow these steps.
 Begin by simply observing the emotion. Notice how it makes you feel. Notice what happens in your body as you feel the emotion.
 Don’t judge the emotion as good or bad.
 Fully experience your emotion. Allow yourself to feel it as a wave coming and going. Try not to suppress the feelings or push the emotion away. On the other hand don’t hold the emotion or amplify it. Just let it pass through you like a wave.
o How to observe emotions non- judgementally.
 Simply observe the emotion- Where you feel it in your body, what sensations it elicits- Without any kind of judgement or evaluation what so ever. Refrain from labeling it good or bad pleasant or painful.
 Notice the thoughts that go through your head you have with it. Acknowledge the helpful or healthy but don’t judge it. Acknowledge the harmful or unhealthy but don’t judge it.
 Notice the opinions you have about the feeling and about the fact that you are feeling it. Let go of your opinions and simply feel.
 When you find yourself judging don’t judge your judging. Just stop, feel, and move on.
o Mindfulness helps you manage and change your emotions. We need to accept them without trying to change them. Do nothing to change your mood no matter how negative or distressful. This is the secret of very healthy emotional people and lives. When you try to remove something you create resistance. When you create resistance your fighting. When you fight you create more pain. Whn you let go and just feel the fighting stops by itself.
o Each time you allow yourself to feel a feeling, each time you allow yourself to express an emotion, you are filling up another empty space inside.
o In order to access your true self esteem and power you need to stay connected to yourself. You need to develop the habit of going inside and connecting to your inherent strength, goodness, and wisdom. Doing this throughout the day will not help you only raise your self esteem but will also help you feel more inner strength and security.
o Write down some behaviors and personality traits you have that you are proud of. After you exhibit one of those traits praise yourself and reward yourself everytime you are aware of exhibiting and showing them.

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Cut the shit, time to fuck.