K, so, like a lot of people, I suffer from social anxiety, I hate crowds, clubs, being the center of attention, I hardly talk at work. Man, I'm probably preaching to the quire though.

So the whole time I wondered if it was possible to get over it. Well. Now I'm done wondering & I'm taking control & to make it easier on you guy, I'm gonna leave a trail. So you know you can do it to.

Now I'm starting this a little late, I began trying about 2 weeks ago, but recently my progress has been coming along pretty quick.

K, so I'll fill you in on the start, 2 weeks ago, my first knock at my anxiety, was when I asked my female manager (7ish but in a position of power & very liked & outgoing in otherwords intimidating for people like us.) To train me in a different department. This was small, but it was a huggeeeee leap for me, considering I usualy just play my ipod and work quietly & never talk to anyone unless I'm spoken to. & when I asked she smiled at me like almost like she was trying to keep from giggling I said "what's that face for lol" (nervous as hell, but I kinda felt like that was an ioi, but didn't want to asume the wrong thing & look stupid + laughing makes u feel more comfortable.) & she said.. "Well... I just can't picture you working out on the floor, I didn't think you would ask & besides... this is like the first time you've really talked to me"

K, nothing impressive. But score 1 for me.

Next

For the remainder of this week I made more attempts at being friendly & talking to this manager.. Lol she never seemed to get used to it tho, she said hi to me everyday & I said it back & didn't say much after... but one day I said hi to her & she looked at me like I was speaking a different language... & then I was like "now what's That look for?!" & she said "oh.. I was just surpised, hi" & I said "damn, all these looks, I thought we were friends" & she smiled & said "ohh, no its not like that, don't get offended" & I said "nah, I'm justt playinggg" & she laughed & went about her shit (omg I just flirted, right?)

Ok, so next week, I make a real step. This girl I been checking out for a little while at work keeps coming up and downstairs... she's quiet like me, & that's probably why I like her, but anyway, we shared a couple hi's and byes nothing enough to consider really knowing eachother, but we both made the effort sometimes, you could say there might be sexual tention? Idk, its too early to tell, but I think so. Anyways, I see her up & down the stares, walking past me, as I drool over her, not cause of her looks, but just because I'm really feeling trapped by her unaproachability I felt. But I pushed onward, I noticed people saying happy bday to her... so eventualy she walks by, and I get the courage to say "damn, you can't say hi" & she says actually kinda boldy "or you could say hi to me" then we both said hi awkwardly lol, w/e & asked if it was her birthday.. Yeah, happy birthday etc. I was gona go for her number, but when she left she past me, but didn't make an effort to say bye... which is a sign of dissinterest... but judging by the awkward hi and previous attempts we've both made, she could have just punked out. But I'm still going to asume she's not interested untill she shows me otherwise.

Fast forward to last friday..

I am pretttttyyy bored, I head over to the movies (local hangout spot, or suttin like that) and take a walk threw the near by park... while I'm in the park, I spot these 2 females, 1 not so atractive white chick & 1 nice body, decent face black chick... so at this point, I'm so bored, I don't even CARE about getting numbers or ass or anything really, I just wanna do something or hangout with someone, so.. Then I walk by, and I opened their set.. Pretty well too, the initial opening seemed rough, but once I introduced myself, & asked what they were doing & everything they liked me.. & my sense of humor just took the wheel, & next thing I knew I closed & made off with both numbers.

Now at this point, I'm superrrr excited, & every girl looks like a target, just cause I realized how easy what I'm trying to acomplish can be.

Next day, I'm walking threw my moms new neighborhood, on the phone, bored as usual.. I see this badd little spanish chick walking by, & decide to test my courage again to make sure its real, I opened but when she told me her name I bailed out, cuz I actually remember she was coincidentally a random add on myspace =D & remembered this chick was like 15 eekkk...

So here I am today... I greeted & probably could have opened 2 spanish girls I saw here... & I'm going to work on opening them soon as I get them in more convienient situations, cuz I saw them both while they were using the phone, I can't be rude now... but I got looks & hi's outta both, so I must be doing something right.

Right now, I feel way more confident, I feel eagar to talk to girls I don't know... the more the better right now, but I still don't feel comfortable around groups, being the center of attention, & I feel real alienated & outcasted when there's like people at work all clowning around having fun interacting with one another.

So biggggg improvement, but there's still some core issues I have to face, this isint just about girls, this is happyness in general I'm going for.

I'm going to update this with any developments as they occour.