when I say inner game I mean Confidence/High Self Image .

Lack of Inner Confidence is hurting me job wise/ social wise/ friends wise

like at work -
*i dont earn as much as I work in sales . and i spend heavy amount of time in the back storage . because when there is heavy foot traffic and lots of people. and i deem someone intimidating , i just go in the back until they leave cause' i CARE ABOUT WHAT THEY THINK
*our own family business deals with sales and i dont go up there . cause i cant deal with people. i care what everyone thinks which limits me from giving me my 100% (this hurts me , personal family wise)
*the boss takes advantage when he sees my weak frame -like i should have gotten a raise but cause' of the first problem i just dont have what it takes to ask him , even when i do he just stalls the conversation or changes subject

like in public -
*at mall - i avoid it but when i do go and see haeavy foot traffic or see someone i deem intimidating .. i go back to weak frame no matter who i am with . i sweat, get blurry vision and just leave
*at grocery stores - check out lines scare me .. when there is lots of people, i stutter , sweat, make awkward movements

in family gatherings
*i avoid , since i dont talk very much . i somehow always become the center of attention . which causes me to sweat, panick , lose cool, and panick. i kind of become a pinata .. everyone takes jabs and i just sit there laughing AWKWARDLY ....

like at school
*i am in college and have lost motivation to move up and become something ... i have in a way dropped out . i have stopped taking classes. . i want to get back in . but same thing . heavy foot traffic , lots of people,. i lose control. make awkward movements , get scared .


i have noticed that when i go to either of those places and run into someone i know i am perfectly fine .. i kind of use them as leverage .. if i am at the mall with someone and its not so busy .. i am cool. at grocery stores . when its not busy . i talk to the cashier / make them laugh. at school when i am with someone i actually sit in the cafeteria . at family gatherings if someone puts up a movie . at work when a friend of mine works . i hold converstions with the customers make them laugh , usualy i keep a straight face or try to . i dont care what the boss says and actually put him on the defensive . i am blooming with confidence.

but i want to be like this without them on my own

i have made countless threads on this and never really got a straight answer .. this would probably be my last . i really need help .

its affecting everywhere and i want to solve it but am not albe to . i am only 19 right now and cant live like this .

Dude, I have somewhat of the same problem. I was conditioned to feel like a piece of shit and back down when confrontation reared its ugly little head. I still haven't unconditioned myself of this problem completely, but you just have to remember that it takes time. The best thing you can do is keep believing that you are gonna be better than you are now. Keep reminding yourself that you're not meant to be the person you are now and keep working on making yourself better. Its a self-fulfilling prophecy bro. You will become what you feel you are destined to be.

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"If you're not living life on the edge, then you're taking up too much space."

Rocky keep your head up. It takes time and your 19 dude, young and still loads of time ahead of you.

Im 23 and struggling at the moment. I have had sex twice in my entirely life. I am an attractive guy aswell which I honestly do believe, but I have slowly learnt that there is more to this then just being shy or lacking confidence.

It is about seeing yourself as high value. Its about believing you are that guy you want to be and just reading about your posts it sounds like your expecting yourself to be intimidated and uncomfortable in those situations before you even enter them. One thing that I realised today just by thinking, is that we shouldn't let our past dictate our futures.

It is good you have accepted that you do have a problems and its just about breaking it down and working on them. Planning to unlearn all that rubbish beliefs you have about yourself and programming yourself to be the person you want to be.

Try something different, push yourself out of your comfort zone and stuff and you will be amazed how you start to see things. For example, I have realised I have deep problems with beliefs about myself and I have set out to identify them and get them fixed. That is the only way that I can see myself improving, its all good going to the gym and getting a nice body and a bit of confidence, but what happened to me is that when I attracted a chick and then she went back to her ex you just go back to your old self as the exterior only gets you so far, its your inner self that really attracts people to you and makes you feel good regardless if people actually like you or not. Its your world dude, others are guests in it.