[here are somebackground music for whilest you read:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hI4bSCy9iE Burial 'Archangel'
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXtQE-MhY5k Immortal Technique - Caught In A Hustle Lyrics
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B138KBFhTRw Smiths Alseep]
Ok guys here goes, i've had this in the back of my mind for some time now. Most probably you have had this before - 'what am i looking for?'
Just like Jocks look for it in their physical crap, nerds look for it in useless knowledge, hippies devote themselves to looking for it under lumps of turf and us [you] Pua's look for it in women. I'm talking of happiness ladies and gentle men, that small little phrase something that we all feel alone in the search for yet we all are looking for it. It is is most lonely goal that is searched by everyone on this planet [yes everyone].
so what do i mean; jerks, nerds, hippies, religionists and pua's alike we are all looking the same thing but the only difference we have our own 'hunch' that it is under This [insert pua hippie ectr here] looking rock. There is a lyric that sums this up for me
"So if the solution has never been to look in yourself
How is it that you expect to find it anywhere else? "
and i think it's true; this coming from personal experience. when i was 17 i thought to myself 'can't wait till i'm 18 and I'll be able to get into all the clubs and therefore get all the girls' and i turned 18 but then i had another nagging 'Can't wait till i pass my driving test; cus then i can drive and go and meet all the girls' and guess fucking what, I'm now driving. Now do you think i have all the girls; well maybe i have a few more at best, but thats not what got me. it was the fact that feeling that i was missing something was still there. I've searched for it in my; age, cars, pua lifestyle, clothes, friends, different countries, cities and even online. but hey guess what i still can't find it out-there.
So here is what it boils down to. Happiness, the state of wellbeing and contentment. nothing bigger nothing smaller; think about it. Isn't that what we all are looking for? so why should i AMOG that guy, act like I'm the fuckin king on the Forums, pretend to be a master pua when in reality you are little more than a lonely soul. I'll tell you why; happiness. we all want it and we want to soo fucking bad we are prepared to backstab, lie cheat and steal to get it. Effectively [and to some degree subconsciously] by lowering someone else’s happiness we raise ours; now isn’t that sadistic. The most important thing I have learnt from PUA community is not the one liners, dress code, or and other gambit; what I learnt is something that is everywhere ‘Leave people better than when you met them’ and if I could add to that ‘and not at cost to your own personal happiness’. And there you have it.
What should I take from this. At the very least I’d like you to realise that you can devote yourself to no end in search of this thing that you feel you need to make your life complete and you’ll always feel like you are missing ‘It’. So take time tonight 30 seconds or 30 minutes just imagine there is no solar system, just white, there is no planets, just white, there is no room around you, feel yourself dissolve into the white; feel it until there is only an essence of you [some call it the soul]. Hold it up to the whiteness exam it; how does it feel? Is damaged? Is it small big? Healthy? Is it Happy? Beyond this I can help you no further; for you AND ONLY YOU can find happiness within you.
All the best, I wish you all the fuckin best with your lives and experiences just don’t forget that something inside of you; it’s waiting to be noticed. but it's time i go to sleep, maybe i'll add to this later.
CHAT