1. Fidgeting and Flapping Your Arms. This shows insecurity and unease. Bad traits to communicate. Instead, put your thumbs ONLY in your pockets (which is actually a sign of male virility!), or failing that, just
2. Leaning In a lot. If you're constantly leaning into a girl before you really get to know her, you're showing dependence and a lack of control. Instead of having control of the conversation, SHE has it, because you're leaning into her, a move that shows she's on top. It'll appear as if you're actively seeking her approval, and not sure in yourself enough to conduct the conversation yourself. So instead, lean back and let HER draw into you. This subtly gives you control of the situation, and forces her to lean into you to hear what YOU, the controller, have to say.
3.Slouching. Definitely a no-no. Practice good posture: ALWAYS have your back up and your straight. Slouching says that you're lazy and unconfident; good posture suggests confidence and masculinity. Which one do YOU think works better?
4. Looking Down or Away From Her. If you're not meeting her gaze, you're coming off as weak and unsure. Reverse this by giving her a constant eye gaze. Don't worry about coming off as creepy; in fact, if she shies away from meeting your eyes, chances are it means she's really into you and too shy to show it!
5. Closed Arms. Closed arms are a closed door. Don't kick her out of your world, invite her in! Make sure your arms are apart, not together. Put your arms at your side or in your pocket instead.
Now let's look at what makes good body language. GOOD BODY LANGUAGE communicates that you are at ease and independent; you don't need a woman's validation to feel confident. Leil Lowndes, author of the outstanding book, "How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You," uses the "SOFTEN" acronym for guidance. This is how it goes
S mile
O pen posture
F orward lean
T ouch
E ye contact
N od
Smiling is a great way to break the ice. It’s your body’s way of saying, “I am a happy person and I think I will enjoy being with you.” As a shy person, you have probably kept yourself “closed” to avoid contact with people. Well, if you’re all closed up and screaming out “I want to be left alone” with your body language, then why would a woman want to talk to you?
When you’re close enough to establish contact, incline your head toward the person to show you’re interested. Touch can convey powerful feelings. A firm handshake can really show your confidence. Here’s a good trick: When you shake a woman’s hand, let your hand stay on hers for a bit too long and brush against her hand when you pull back. Do this while smiling at her sincerely so you don’t come off as a pervert.
Shy guys usually avoid meeting another person’s gaze. This is exactly why they never receive any attention from women. Adequate eye contact is a powerful nonverbal signal of respect and attention. Also, when used properly, you can use it to test a woman’s interest in you.To train yourself to make better eye contact, try holding the eyes of another person five seconds at a time. When that feels comfortable, increase it to ten, then fifteen, and so on.
Shy person often avoids any form of nonverbal agreement or disagreement because they fear they may be asked to speak. But if you never show your interest or acknowledgment, how are women going to know you’re interested in them? Learn to nod to show you’re paying attention to or acknowledging the woman you’re interested in meeting.
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